YO I would be front-fucking-row for The Thread Movie
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:47 (seven years ago) link
well we've already had The Thread: The Podcast so how far off can we be, maybe we should start with a netflix series
flappy bird can be played by Seth Rogen
― Οὖτις, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:48 (seven years ago) link
ew... no
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:49 (seven years ago) link
i want to be played by the actual Flappy Bird
sorry but we've already shopped the treatment to multiple studios and the cast is locked in with point on the back end so ya burnt suck it up you are now fully owned IP
― Οὖτις, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:51 (seven years ago) link
ok... i'll settle for Michael Cera
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:53 (seven years ago) link
can i be played by udo kier pls
― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 31 July 2017 17:54 (seven years ago) link
It'll have to be limited to threads for monetizable products, no new post-Fahey folk for instance.
― jmm, Monday, 31 July 2017 17:58 (seven years ago) link
is the thinking face emoji a character in this movie?
― -_- (jim in vancouver), Monday, 31 July 2017 17:58 (seven years ago) link
this guy - 🤔? no. i was disappointed that more emojis weren't featured or given lines
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 18:01 (seven years ago) link
say what you want about the chainsmokers, but you gotta admit those boys know how to dress! pic.twitter.com/IC6V7qCMib— Diplo (@_diplo_) July 30, 2017
― flappy bird, Monday, 31 July 2017 18:07 (seven years ago) link
― flappy bird, Monday, July 31, 2017 11:01 AM (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
f this film forever then
― -_- (jim in vancouver), Monday, 31 July 2017 18:09 (seven years ago) link
torn between reluctantly admiring flappy bird's oddly cogent defence of this piece of shit film, and wondering how someone who thinks this and an angry birds film were worth seeing every came across enough money to buy 2 movie tickets
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 01:04 (seven years ago) link
hey now
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 01:14 (seven years ago) link
It's interesting that they've come up with bits of actual plot riffing on the emojis. Stuck in textopolis. Have to be one emotion forever. Break out of this to find their true selves. Okay. I guess why it's so hard to get beyond the feeling of being spat on by movie execs is the combo of two kinds of cynicism: 'crank out yet another animated movie to get kid dollars' plus 'base the story around the cartoon pictures supplied with a smartphone'
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 16:59 (seven years ago) link
Like re: smartphones it would not be a huge step to make a movie about some kids who are somehow shrunk down and trapped in their smartphone, or a movie about some kids who lose their smartphone and have to survive in a tent with their dog for a weekend and learn all about real life. Both of those movies would still be schmaltzy and cynical as fuck but the movie-making effort required to get to their level, from the level of the emoji movie, is so slight that it's absence creates the impression that we the viewing public are being viewed with contempt I guess.
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:03 (seven years ago) link
the emoji "brand awareness" or whatever is the hook to shuck the same bullshit platitudes/plotlines they've always drawn on
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:05 (seven years ago) link
I'm generally of the opinion that, in the right hands, a worthwhile story can be constructed around any subject.
Except emojis. Sorry.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:07 (seven years ago) link
this is gonna be the first movie in history where the inevitable porn parody ends up being better than the original, isn't it?
― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:09 (seven years ago) link
the movie is about being yourself and respecting others, i think that's a really valuable message
https://lparchive.org/Fallout-4/Smilies/emot-colbert.gif
― nomar, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:10 (seven years ago) link
xps Also somehow, bearing in mind that kid's movies (and tv shows and toys and everything else aimed at kids) are probably always hawking some reified grown-up thing, and this is always shady and sinister; bearing that in mind the attempt by this movie to sell children smartphones seems somehow more pernicious than C.S. Lewis attempting to sell them Anglicanism
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:11 (seven years ago) link
The best way to be yourself is to communicate exclusively via the limited palette of emojis imo.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:12 (seven years ago) link
bearing that in mind the attempt by this movie to sell children smartphones
lol no, this is wrong, like i said upthread. the movie assumes everyone has a smartphone. there is no smartphone product placement. a shocking amount of young kids do. i graduated HS in 2011 and i think i'm part of the last generation to go thru primary school w/o a smartphone. i can't imagine what it's like now.
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:15 (seven years ago) link
emojis are public domain. each OS has its own set of them. Facebook, Twitter, Spotify, Instagram, Dropbox, and YouTube are the only "products" that appear in the film, and like I said, these apps are so pervasive and in so many movies and advertisements already, it's not fair to say this is a movie hawking smartphones or social media. they're just part of life
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:17 (seven years ago) link
I think that was a typo. The movie is trying to sell children TO smartphones. Soon all smartphones will have a child slave.
― Evan, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:20 (seven years ago) link
IIRC it was sometime around the dawn of man when emojis became just a regular ol' part of life, completely independent of any electronic platform one would have to buy in order to use them. It's really unfair to bind them inextricably from any kind of consumer product when really they are products of our imagination.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:28 (seven years ago) link
and i think i'm part of the last generation to go thru primary school w/o a smartphone. i can't imagine what it's like now.
kids are generally getting phones around the ages that they're expected to be responsible enough to, under various circumstances, be left alone - ie 10 or so. In my experience in my highly techified bubble.
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:29 (seven years ago) link
flappy, I don't know how you can deny that these are product placements specifically designed to advertise these apps to kids. Not every kid is on all of these apps, and anyway, ads are not just for attracting new consumers. They're about reinforcing and normalizing consumption habits as well.
― jmm, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:33 (seven years ago) link
Don't know what you're talking about, Facebook and Instagram were part of a rich cultural tradition through centuries of human history before they became the crass brands of today.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:37 (seven years ago) link
flappy, you're like the platonic ideal of the audience Sony was trying to reach with their new film, The Emoji Movie. The 'what's the big deal about governmentally-mandated subdermal microchips, they're like friendship bracelets' demographic, if you will.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:39 (seven years ago) link
Old Lunch Yells at Cloud
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:43 (seven years ago) link
Damn you guys really are taking quite a principled stand against the emoji movie in this Ilx thread, bravo
― sleepingbag, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:46 (seven years ago) link
It's hard to go to a movie theater, watch TV, or even read a newspaper without seeing icons for all of those apps. They are omnipresent. Every kid already knows what they are. Reinforcing and normalizing consumption habits? Perhaps... but again, this movie isn't advertising Ello, or some obscure app. A lot of these apps come pre-installed on phones. They're as much a part of everyday life as cable TV and screens and the Internet. the kid sitting behind me in the theater recognized every single app, already had familiarity with them, etc.
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:47 (seven years ago) link
i can at least understand how a movie like Toy Story offers escapism to the audience, but Emoji? If there's as much part of everyday life, this just seems like a waste of time
― Week of Wonders (Ross), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:51 (seven years ago) link
no, that's my point! people hate The Emoji Movie because it's the complete opposite of escapism. it's an 86 minute look in the mirror of the world we live in, and it's often overwhelming and horrifying! and again, people loathe it based on the merits of the concept, not the movie itself, which like i said upthread, is not well executed.
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:55 (seven years ago) link
Every kid already knows what they are.
wrong
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:56 (seven years ago) link
as you are about such a great many things
most kids
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:58 (seven years ago) link
i love that flappy bird's defence of the movie also acknowledges completely that it is terrible
― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 17:59 (seven years ago) link
terrible in what way? i already wrote about how it's not well executed, but the concept is great, there are moments of greatness, but it's squandered. i think the vast majority of critics and people are criticizing it for the wrong reasons: that it's bad for society, a signal of downfall, extremely cynical.
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:02 (seven years ago) link
thank you, Mr. President
― flappy bird, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:05 (seven years ago) link
Coming soon to the Criterion Collection:
The Emoji MovieTony Leondis
Disc Features:- Gag reel- Deleted scenes compiled by Eric Siegel- Storyboards and production design drawings- Analyses of the special effects by editor William J. Caparella- Suicide note by T. J. Miller- Trailer, teaser, and television spots- The Aerosmith music video “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” PLUS: A booklet featuring essays by internet user flappy bird, a piece by King Digital Entertainment plc on the restoration and ROI, and a printout of the now famous emoji movie ilx thread
― Evan, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:10 (seven years ago) link
i think the vast majority of critics and people are criticizing it for the wrong reasons: that it's bad for society, a signal of downfall, extremely cynical.
― flappy bird, Tuesday, August 1, 2017 2:02 PM (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Sad!
― Evan, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:11 (seven years ago) link
In which Sir PAtrick Stewart, knight of the british empire, plays the role of a pile of shit
― Dean of the University (Latham Green), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:21 (seven years ago) link
lol at tj miller suicide note
― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:23 (seven years ago) link
It's just the idea that anyone could argue with a straight face that this thing isn't pure undiluted commodification from top to bottom is a little (eyes bugging out emoji). Any 'just be yourself and respect others!' plot finery is just window dressing.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:27 (seven years ago) link
And I'll shout at a damn cloud all damn day if the thing is branded with a damn Twitter logo. Damn it.
― Chock Full of Love and Sexy Feeling (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:28 (seven years ago) link
Old Lunch Tweets at Cloud
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 18:29 (seven years ago) link
i cannot believe you guys are either (a) letting flappy bird troll you like this for dozens of posts or (b) engaging with a sincere flappy bird on this obviously terrible movie which he loves for whatever reason.
― ﴿→ ☺ (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 21:53 (seven years ago) link
I'm eating sweet and sour chicken
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 21:54 (seven years ago) link