best food from Orwell's "In Defense of English Cooking"

the thread of the pee shark

evolution gave us a shark made of pee that survives the icy depths of the arctic and eats bears, and we found a way to eat it

— um jammer trans g (@joffeorama) August 30, 2017

^^^centrist orwell runs, a mile, even bourdain couldn't even

(least fresh fish: it's 500 yrs old, it looks like mitch mconnell, it's made of pee, icelanders left it in a hole to rot)

https://www.theverge.com/2017/8/31/16235156/pee-shark-toxic-urea-greenland-twitter

pee story denied

I've been fascinated by Greenland Sharks since they appeared in one of my all-time favourite video games, Endless Ocean 2

non-denial denial in the view of this pee shark truther

If those are the places in Leicestershire where you can buy fresh fish then TBF to the Selfer it would be hard to find fresh fish in "most places" in Leicestershire.

it's true that you only find it in the shops that sell it

the pee shark also sometimes has glowing copepods eating its eyes in exchange for attracting more prey with their light

— um jammer trans g (@joffeorama) August 30, 2017

this is the future corbyn wants for the uk

WAKE UP PISS SHARKS

it's true that you only find it in the shops that sell it

Well if we're doing pedantry I insist it's not true that you can only find it in shops that sell it, but it is mostly true that you can only buy it in shops that sell it.

[My point was that most of the towns and villages in Leicestershire don't have a fishmonger, going by your map.]

I'd also argue that supermarkets have only raised their fish game in the last 5 years or so

most of the villages in Leicestershire don't have most kinds of shops, if any: this is what driving to town is for

self is probably correct that some of these villages do form the centre of the local drugs trade: just 50 yards from mum and dad's house in the very country a barn-full of heroin and hash was raided during operation bumblebee, but you couldn't just walk up to the barn and purchase a gramme or three

love that farm-to-bloodstream heroin, it's so in right now

too soon imo

Remember the old days when u could go straight to the barn and buy it by the gram

Europe changed all that of course

It's all sneakily state-subsidised Schengen skag these days. Our proud British horse farms have had to become horse farms.

I don't suppose I would find it easy to find hard drugs in most places, because happily that is not a skill I've ever acquired. But I do believe in most towns there'll be someone selling them, but not someone selling fresh fish which I think is the point?

enough smack talk

Remember the old days when u could go straight to the barn and buy it by the gram

Ounce

junkies: less bounce by the ounce

yes i am challenging the claim that "easy to buy something" in the country means "easy to buy it on your own doorstep" -- it wasn't "hard to buy shoes" in my village, bcz driving a few miles to get some things is very unthinkingly normal in rural areas

(it would take me a minimum hours round journey from where i'm meant to be working today to buy a pret sandwich -- nevertheless the pret sandwich is "easy to buy", if mildly annoying, wake up pret, a land borough in turmoil is crying out for a hero jambon beurre *loses thread*)

no jambon on the English cooking thread

I've just realised "Devonshire cream" probly means clotted cream in which case it is a real contender if these things were in contention

real talk: does clotted cream go on top of or underneath the jam on a scone

me: butter, jam, cream

let the arguments commence

"Easier" was the word used? Which doesn't necessarily mean "easy" but might mean "available in the next small town rather than having to drive far further to the next big town".

NV is right that many smallish towns (I'm thinking of places like Axminster or Ottery St Mary, places I know fairly well) will these days have a supermarket with some kind of fresh fish available, where 10 or 15 years ago there'd have been nowhere that sold the stuff.

xp Devonshire Cream contains multitudes, and is surely not just the clotted.

the us contingent are not gonna believe that 'ottery st mary' is a real place and not some kind of arcane slur

me: butter, jam, cream

butter and cream is a fuckin' baller move imo

xp That's not necessairly an either/or, as anyone from Fenny Bridges will tell you.

ok i think we're more or less in the same place bar some delicious micro-pedantry abt comparative adjectives but i'm still calling bullshit on the idea that you can actually lay yr hands on skag in any village in the UK w/o someone driving somewhere, even in leicestershire

for real cream you need to go to cornwall obviously

devonshire cream would have been my second choice

also, cream first then jam. anything else is naked insanity

i'm still calling bullshit on the idea that you can actually lay yr hands on skag in any village in the UK w/o someone driving somewhere

everywhere's within walking distance if you've got the time tbf

also, cream first then jam. anything else is naked insanity

there it is

the bad opinion

it's just so impractical and wrong-headed

jam spreads, cream dollops, ffs

I've never heard Devonians gaf about the order of jam and cream, which may be because it's obvious to us or may be that the Devon / Cornwall divide in this matter is spun up to be sold upcountry. Choose whatever order you like and manoeuvre the j&c accordingly, is what I say.

On the other hand, I have heard a Devon shopkeeper berate a tourist for calling the Devonshire pasties he was selling "Cornish pasties".

The idea of cream before jam is making me quite irate

Lot of rockism ITT all of a sudden.

rock cakeism shurely?

the pee shark will rescue us

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIdNrZbWAAEv8bV.jpg

Close relative to the rock(ist) salmon I think?

jam spreads, cream dollops, ffs

^^^ otm truth bomb THIS etc

I'm Devonian but 100% go for the Cornish method.

man I haven't had a rock cake in years

obviously the jam goes on before the cream, as NV has explained

what the fuck is this place

jam spreads, cream dollops, ffs

clotted cream spreads

let's do this thus

clotted cream is viscous, jam less so

were the jam to be applied first then application of cream would cause the jam to scooch out from underneath it and go all over your CLOTHES

cream however holds to the scone in thick delicious forbearance

therefore you can spread jam atop the cream without fear. for after all, jam spreads

the only way to apply cream post-preserve and not ruin your CLOTHES is to lightly dollop it on top, but this doesn't guarantee good coverage or consistency of the CREAM LAYER

also how are you going to get it off the knife and onto the scone? that's right by RUBBING the knife on the scone. but this might cause JAM to go everywhere oh god I can't argue this anymore I'm in crazytown

or yeah are you all using the wrong type of cream

I'm in crazytown

you said it, bud

I don't think Parkin ever really took off outside of Yorkshire. I don't even feel that fond of it, but will still bake batches of it occasionally. I think I only make it to atone for the times when I was working near my sister's house, and she would sometimes drop me off a bag of way too many Parkin squares, wrapped in kitchen roll. And soon as she was gone I'd toss the job lot in the bin!

my aunt lives in germany but whenever she comes back to scotland she makes massive trays of tablet that everyone in the family is forced to accept and then discreetly bin as soon as possible afterwards

Because it is the world's worst tablet or because you are all utter heathens?

little of both tbh