the pee shark also sometimes has glowing copepods eating its eyes in exchange for attracting more prey with their light— um jammer trans g (@joffeorama) August 30, 2017
this is the future corbyn wants for the uk
WAKE UP PISS SHARKS
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 09:56 (seven years ago) link
it's true that you only find it in the shops that sell it
Well if we're doing pedantry I insist it's not true that you can only find it in shops that sell it, but it is mostly true that you can only buy it in shops that sell it.
[My point was that most of the towns and villages in Leicestershire don't have a fishmonger, going by your map.]
― Tim, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:00 (seven years ago) link
I'd also argue that supermarkets have only raised their fish game in the last 5 years or so
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:01 (seven years ago) link
most of the villages in Leicestershire don't have most kinds of shops, if any: this is what driving to town is for
self is probably correct that some of these villages do form the centre of the local drugs trade: just 50 yards from mum and dad's house in the very country a barn-full of heroin and hash was raided during operation bumblebee, but you couldn't just walk up to the barn and purchase a gramme or three
― mark s, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:08 (seven years ago) link
love that farm-to-bloodstream heroin, it's so in right now
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:14 (seven years ago) link
too soon imo
― mark s, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:16 (seven years ago) link
Remember the old days when u could go straight to the barn and buy it by the gram
Europe changed all that of course
― passé aggresif (darraghmac), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:24 (seven years ago) link
It's all sneakily state-subsidised Schengen skag these days. Our proud British horse farms have had to become horse farms.
I don't suppose I would find it easy to find hard drugs in most places, because happily that is not a skill I've ever acquired. But I do believe in most towns there'll be someone selling them, but not someone selling fresh fish which I think is the point?
― Tim, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:27 (seven years ago) link
enough smack talk
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:30 (seven years ago) link
Ounce
― Madchen, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:31 (seven years ago) link
junkies: less bounce by the ounce
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:34 (seven years ago) link
yes i am challenging the claim that "easy to buy something" in the country means "easy to buy it on your own doorstep" -- it wasn't "hard to buy shoes" in my village, bcz driving a few miles to get some things is very unthinkingly normal in rural areas
(it would take me a minimum hours round journey from where i'm meant to be working today to buy a pret sandwich -- nevertheless the pret sandwich is "easy to buy", if mildly annoying, wake up pret, a land borough in turmoil is crying out for a hero jambon beurre *loses thread*)
― mark s, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:38 (seven years ago) link
no jambon on the English cooking thread
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:40 (seven years ago) link
I've just realised "Devonshire cream" probly means clotted cream in which case it is a real contender if these things were in contention
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:42 (seven years ago) link
real talk: does clotted cream go on top of or underneath the jam on a scone
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:44 (seven years ago) link
me: butter, jam, cream
let the arguments commence
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:47 (seven years ago) link
"Easier" was the word used? Which doesn't necessarily mean "easy" but might mean "available in the next small town rather than having to drive far further to the next big town".
NV is right that many smallish towns (I'm thinking of places like Axminster or Ottery St Mary, places I know fairly well) will these days have a supermarket with some kind of fresh fish available, where 10 or 15 years ago there'd have been nowhere that sold the stuff.
xp Devonshire Cream contains multitudes, and is surely not just the clotted.
― Tim, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:48 (seven years ago) link
the us contingent are not gonna believe that 'ottery st mary' is a real place and not some kind of arcane slur
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:50 (seven years ago) link
butter and cream is a fuckin' baller move imo
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:51 (seven years ago) link
xp That's not necessairly an either/or, as anyone from Fenny Bridges will tell you.
― Tim, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:53 (seven years ago) link
ok i think we're more or less in the same place bar some delicious micro-pedantry abt comparative adjectives but i'm still calling bullshit on the idea that you can actually lay yr hands on skag in any village in the UK w/o someone driving somewhere, even in leicestershire
for real cream you need to go to cornwall obviously
― mark s, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:55 (seven years ago) link
devonshire cream would have been my second choice
― imago, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:55 (seven years ago) link
also, cream first then jam. anything else is naked insanity
― imago, Friday, 1 September 2017 10:56 (seven years ago) link
i'm still calling bullshit on the idea that you can actually lay yr hands on skag in any village in the UK w/o someone driving somewhere
everywhere's within walking distance if you've got the time tbf
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:58 (seven years ago) link
there it is
the bad opinion
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 10:59 (seven years ago) link
it's just so impractical and wrong-headed
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 11:03 (seven years ago) link
jam spreads, cream dollops, ffs
I've never heard Devonians gaf about the order of jam and cream, which may be because it's obvious to us or may be that the Devon / Cornwall divide in this matter is spun up to be sold upcountry. Choose whatever order you like and manoeuvre the j&c accordingly, is what I say.
On the other hand, I have heard a Devon shopkeeper berate a tourist for calling the Devonshire pasties he was selling "Cornish pasties".
― Tim, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:06 (seven years ago) link
The idea of cream before jam is making me quite irate
― Number None, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:07 (seven years ago) link
Lot of rockism ITT all of a sudden.
― Tim, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:07 (seven years ago) link
rock cakeism shurely?
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 11:09 (seven years ago) link
the pee shark will rescue us
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIdNrZbWAAEv8bV.jpg
― mark s, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:11 (seven years ago) link
Close relative to the rock(ist) salmon I think?
― Tim, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:12 (seven years ago) link
^^^ otm truth bomb THIS etc
I'm Devonian but 100% go for the Cornish method.
― kinder, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:13 (seven years ago) link
man I haven't had a rock cake in years
obviously the jam goes on before the cream, as NV has explained
― Colonel Poo, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:15 (seven years ago) link
what the fuck is this place
― imago, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:34 (seven years ago) link
clotted cream spreads
― mahb, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:46 (seven years ago) link
let's do this thus
clotted cream is viscous, jam less so
were the jam to be applied first then application of cream would cause the jam to scooch out from underneath it and go all over your CLOTHES
cream however holds to the scone in thick delicious forbearance
therefore you can spread jam atop the cream without fear. for after all, jam spreads
the only way to apply cream post-preserve and not ruin your CLOTHES is to lightly dollop it on top, but this doesn't guarantee good coverage or consistency of the CREAM LAYER
also how are you going to get it off the knife and onto the scone? that's right by RUBBING the knife on the scone. but this might cause JAM to go everywhere oh god I can't argue this anymore I'm in crazytown
― imago, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:47 (seven years ago) link
or yeah are you all using the wrong type of cream
― imago, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:48 (seven years ago) link
I'm in crazytown
you said it, bud
― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 September 2017 11:54 (seven years ago) link
I don't think Parkin ever really took off outside of Yorkshire. I don't even feel that fond of it, but will still bake batches of it occasionally. I think I only make it to atone for the times when I was working near my sister's house, and she would sometimes drop me off a bag of way too many Parkin squares, wrapped in kitchen roll. And soon as she was gone I'd toss the job lot in the bin!
― calzino, Friday, 1 September 2017 11:55 (seven years ago) link
my aunt lives in germany but whenever she comes back to scotland she makes massive trays of tablet that everyone in the family is forced to accept and then discreetly bin as soon as possible afterwards
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 12:00 (seven years ago) link
Because it is the world's worst tablet or because you are all utter heathens?
― Madchen, Friday, 1 September 2017 12:01 (seven years ago) link
little of both tbh
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 12:02 (seven years ago) link
a little bit of tablet every now and again is fine but wtf am i gonna do with like a solid kilo of the stuff
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 12:03 (seven years ago) link
imagospreading itt
― mark s, Friday, 1 September 2017 12:03 (seven years ago) link
especially when a couple of mouthfuls contains enough sugar to make you feel like you're speeding off your tits xp
― pizzarro gizzarda (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 1 September 2017 12:04 (seven years ago) link
Tablet always looks like it requires more robust teeth than I've got in my gummy gob.
― Gulley Jimson (Ward Fowler), Friday, 1 September 2017 12:04 (seven years ago) link
Sweet pickle - ideal with the simplicity of crusty bread and cheese; though that introduces the Ploughman's Lunch authenticity issue.
― Luna Schlosser, Friday, 1 September 2017 12:05 (seven years ago) link
all of which reminds me: where the hell is tiffin here? heartattack of the gods. and is it even british?
― imago, Friday, 1 September 2017 12:06 (seven years ago) link