best food from Orwell's "In Defense of English Cooking"

what the fuck is this place

jam spreads, cream dollops, ffs

clotted cream spreads

let's do this thus

clotted cream is viscous, jam less so

were the jam to be applied first then application of cream would cause the jam to scooch out from underneath it and go all over your CLOTHES

cream however holds to the scone in thick delicious forbearance

therefore you can spread jam atop the cream without fear. for after all, jam spreads

the only way to apply cream post-preserve and not ruin your CLOTHES is to lightly dollop it on top, but this doesn't guarantee good coverage or consistency of the CREAM LAYER

also how are you going to get it off the knife and onto the scone? that's right by RUBBING the knife on the scone. but this might cause JAM to go everywhere oh god I can't argue this anymore I'm in crazytown

or yeah are you all using the wrong type of cream

I'm in crazytown

you said it, bud

I don't think Parkin ever really took off outside of Yorkshire. I don't even feel that fond of it, but will still bake batches of it occasionally. I think I only make it to atone for the times when I was working near my sister's house, and she would sometimes drop me off a bag of way too many Parkin squares, wrapped in kitchen roll. And soon as she was gone I'd toss the job lot in the bin!

my aunt lives in germany but whenever she comes back to scotland she makes massive trays of tablet that everyone in the family is forced to accept and then discreetly bin as soon as possible afterwards

Because it is the world's worst tablet or because you are all utter heathens?

little of both tbh

a little bit of tablet every now and again is fine but wtf am i gonna do with like a solid kilo of the stuff

imagospreading itt

especially when a couple of mouthfuls contains enough sugar to make you feel like you're speeding off your tits xp

Tablet always looks like it requires more robust teeth than I've got in my gummy gob.

Sweet pickle - ideal with the simplicity of crusty bread and cheese; though that introduces the Ploughman's Lunch authenticity issue.

all of which reminds me: where the hell is tiffin here? heartattack of the gods. and is it even british?

tiffin is telegu

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/contamination-alert-scots-tablet-after-11089371

Ach! What do you accidental contamination, this is the traditional recipe yer soft bastahs!

correct telegu spelling of tiffin iirc: కాల భోజనం

I'm talking about this tiffin: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiffin_(confectionery)

wait is that just what you've all been referring to as 'tablet'

if so, #teamtablet

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tablet_(confectionery)

they're different, tegelu for tablet = టాబ్లెట్

tablet looks like some toothsome if hazardous cross between jaggery and kendal mint cake (which i like)

tiffin (scottish version) is amazing though, especially homemade, and you should all be eating more of it

wah wah my knife oh noes
clotted cream atop jam is a far superior taste and textural experience. I will not let this go.

there it is

the good opinion

tablet is just crumbly fudge y?

yeah, kind of a grainy, brittle fudge - condensed milk, regular milk, butter, and a catastrophic, heart-stopping amount of sugar

the appropriate amount of crumbliness in fudge is a hotly-contested issue tho

er, tablet rather

it's generally not as teeth-breakingly mineral-form as kendal mintcake IME

also lacks mint, to the return to the true subject of this thread

and of course it's all the better for it

with you there

Kendall mint cake would literally be the last thing I ate unless I thought I was about to die

new thoughts on the failure of scott's expedition to the pole

let's face it, if your next supply dump contained 3 stone of Kendall mint cake and a few Husky steaks you wouldn't rush back to it

pony not husky -- the norwegians ate their dogs and triumphed -- but yr point perhaps stands (except in france)

supply dump

aptly-named in that case for sure

anyway since the Great Horsemeat Scandal of '13 we're all pony-eaters now

pony steaks makes all the difference, I think we can definitely narrow it down to the mint cake

had an excellent pasta with lemon and mint yesterday btw

toothpasta

i am pro mint but the joke was necessary there

I actually tried the jam/cream experiment (using scones) a few weeks ago in a posh tea room and it does taste much better with the cream on first.

Also if haggis is in here then cranachan deserves its place as well. As does Eton mess which is far too Tory for Orwell but no one ever claimed Tories don't have some of the best food.

how can a post so right follow a post so rong

I am allergic to mint, and it is *really* annoying. The artificial flavouring (eg in mint choc chip ice-cream) is no problem, but my toothpaste and lebanese food choices are quite restricted.

Alex James claims all the worlds best food comes from the CursedWorlds.

The last time I used mint was in a Chicken Biryani, so as well as pleasing yr dentist it is a diverse little fucker, tbf.

I forgot to add Alex James from ILM favourites Blur.

maybe we metropolitan poshos prefer cream first because it feels more opulent to treat cream as if it were a mere dairy spread rather than the crown jewel of the piece