should be a list thread?
corollary to the above: don't smoke weed in the bar, not even in the smoking area
― sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 19:55 (six years ago) link
A quick shake of salt on your cocktail napkin keeps it from sticking to the bottom of your glass.
You can use a straw to try someone else's drink without germ concerns (insert a straw, plug the top end with your thumb, lift it out and sample).
Ear wax and nose oil are good for dispelling bubbles (rub your nose or put your finger in your ear, then put the finger into excessively heady beer).
The old "dollar per drink" tip makes sense only for beer and rail drinks. 20% of pretax total is best for tabs that include more attentive service (hand muddling, etc.).
Coffee-based drinks consumed in the evening will usually be made with really terrible coffee.
If you don't want people to talk to you, work on a crossword puzzle or prop up a book on a condiment caddy. Protip: choose a very boring book or one with a nondescript cover, so no one tries to initiate conversation with "whatcha readin'?"
― Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:02 (six years ago) link
If there is a TV tuned to Fox (even if it is muted) ask for it to be changed.
― Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:03 (six years ago) link
if it doesn't fold, it isn't a tip (exceptions for regulars may apply)
― sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:07 (six years ago) link
Depends on the amount
― calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:10 (six years ago) link
this thread and the weather today make me want to go spend a few hours at my local tbh
― (•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:11 (six years ago) link
haha otm
― sleeve, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:12 (six years ago) link
See you there dude
― calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:13 (six years ago) link
Sometimes a regular sitting near the taps gets to have a partial beer left by a dead keg (and yes it is still a free drink that you should consider when tipping).
General tipping guidance (may not apply for non-USians) is that you shouldn't try to punish a bad service experience with an insultingly small tip because you end up screwing over people who were not responsible.
If you had three glasses of the same wine, you could have bought the bottle.
Note: UK-style "and for yourself?" tipping does not work well in USian bars, as the bar staff is usually not drinking during working hours. I have seen people try to do it and it fell flat.
― Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 20:41 (six years ago) link
cocktail napkins are so beyond horrible, there is this wonderful invention called the coaster...
― brimstead, Friday, 15 December 2017 20:41 (six years ago) link
Who knows what life is or where it’s goingSo cheers
― calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 21:33 (six years ago) link
Always pay with cash. This eliminates the risks of:- Forgetting your credit card - the bartender taking advantage of your inebriation to overcharge you
― calstars, Friday, 15 December 2017 21:49 (six years ago) link
Also bar staff (and other service workers) have better visibility into what happens to cash than to credit/debit charges.
Oh and speaking of inebriation: if a bartender offers to call a cab for you, DON'T ARGUE. If they think you need a cab then you need a frickin cab.
― Darth be not proud (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 15 December 2017 22:53 (six years ago) link
if taking a car to the bar, park or get dropped off a block away and arrive by foot. No one likes a VIP.
― June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Friday, 12 January 2018 21:12 (six years ago) link
When an interested party asks how old you think they are, subtract 5 from your gut feeling
― calstars, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 21:04 (six years ago) link
If you are the only person left in the bar very close to closing time...please leave.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 3 April 2018 21:43 (six years ago) link
If there is more than one bartenderChoose one, preferably the older,And when it comes time for subsequent rounds,Always order from the same one,To increase the chance of buy backs
― calstars, Wednesday, 25 April 2018 23:02 (six years ago) link
May have changed opinions on paying with a card vs cash. I only got charged for 3 while consuming 5 today. Maybe the Card allows the bartender to keep the discounts on the DL, thereby rewarding good tipping regulars without being subject to the inquisitiveness of nosy fuckers at the bar who keep track of this shit
― calstars, Monday, 7 May 2018 01:47 (six years ago) link
one thing i genuinely never know is whether bartenders prefer to be tipped in cash or just adding it on the card
― F# A# (∞), Monday, 7 May 2018 02:20 (six years ago) link
Re: paying with cash vs a card -In the past few weeks I’ve been undercharged and overcharged using a card. I think it’s probably better just using cash
― calstars, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:33 (six years ago) link
Testing the new bartender on buyback etiquette
― calstars, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:34 (six years ago) link
I hate having to use a card at the bar. plus if they want to comp you a drink let them do so with a wink and a hand motion, not in a way that makes you think it could have been a "user error"
― El Tomboto, Friday, 25 May 2018 21:37 (six years ago) link
If it's a quiet afternoon, testing the new bartender on their Old Fashioneds.
― I'm Finn thanks, don't mention it (fionnland), Saturday, 26 May 2018 00:00 (six years ago) link
Stick with one bartender, especially if she pours them well
― calstars, Saturday, 23 June 2018 17:22 (five years ago) link
If you’re aware of a shift change later in the day, don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts — instead, tip for each as they’re poured. This makes it easier for the early shifter to sign off without them having to remind you and thus ask for their tip explicitly
― calstars, Wednesday, 26 September 2018 21:58 (five years ago) link
very otm
― sleeve, Wednesday, 26 September 2018 22:07 (five years ago) link
very incomprehensible
― Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Wednesday, 26 September 2018 22:41 (five years ago) link
Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.
Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.
At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:
1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.
2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.
Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.
CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.
That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts. (Speaking in USian terms.)
― Inuit innuendo (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 27 September 2018 00:51 (five years ago) link
Two twenties and two tens says sic is not a barfly
― calstars, Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:45 (five years ago) link
I thought sic was just referring to the business of tipping itself
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:46 (five years ago) link
Is sic a British? I forget.
― Inuit innuendo (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 27 September 2018 01:49 (five years ago) link
sic is an Australian on long-term loan to Seattle
― faculty w1fe (silby), Thursday, 27 September 2018 02:27 (five years ago) link
let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.
none of this comes close to explaining what "don’t leave the change of a large bill on the bar to pay for your nexts" means
also
I assumed the same re calstars' model so you are additionally saying that your entire explanation is not intended to explain it?
― Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Thursday, 27 September 2018 08:11 (five years ago) link
(plus yeah re tombot
Otm, I try to be aware of this when I can.Sic: let's say you like to start drinking at 5:30, and you intend to stay for a while and have several drinks. But the bartender who gives you your first two drinks works only till 6. Then a different bartender comes in.At this point, all the assembled barflies have a choice:1. Close out their tab, so as to be sure their tips reach Bartender One. Then open a new tab with Bartender Two, so as to make sure that she or he gets tipped appropriately too.2. Allow the tab to remain open and be transferred to Bartender Two. This runs the risk of stiffing Bartender One out of the tips on the first couple drinks.Maybe the bar has a system for equitably distributing tips in this situation, maybe they don't; maybe they just figure it will work out karmically. You don't know, and it would be awkward to ask. So clearly Option 1 is better barfly etiquette.CAVEAT: this assumes you are running a tab. If I understand Calstars correctly, calstars's seems to be talking more about a pay-as-you-go model. Which is also a tip-as-you-go model, unless you're a dick.That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts.
That model can be elegant, especially if you're using cash and rounding up generously to nice tidy whole-dollar amounts.
a slightly more elegant model is: pay a listed price for things.)
― Betting Eighty Hams (sic), Thursday, 27 September 2018 08:20 (five years ago) link
If carrying a cash balance on the bar itself, add new bills by placing them perpendicular, on the side of the bartender, to your stack of smaller bills.
― calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 19:21 (five years ago) link
Confirm your tip with the bartender. Never leave cash unattended.
― calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 21:44 (five years ago) link
I don’t worry about shift changes and tipping. I drink at the same bar all the time. They all know I got them overall.
― Jeff, Saturday, 1 December 2018 22:10 (five years ago) link
Smoove JeffRespeck
― calstars, Saturday, 1 December 2018 22:15 (five years ago) link
can I get a buyback or what
― rip van wanko, Saturday, 1 December 2018 23:52 (five years ago) link
Cal yr top tier single maltMake a double, neat chief
― F# A# (∞), Sunday, 2 December 2018 04:27 (five years ago) link
When you’re on your 7th and wondering when the right time is to leave, do so whenever one of the following events occur:- you belch loudly, causing a moment of silence to be observed around you- navigation and walking control becomes difficult, possibly resulting in collisions with others- you spill your drink on your running cash tab
― calstars, Sunday, 9 December 2018 13:53 (five years ago) link
- you immediately grab up the wet cash and try to suck out the absorbed liquor
― mick signals, Sunday, 9 December 2018 16:09 (five years ago) link
the navigation rule is more otm than many of us would admit
― rip van wanko, Sunday, 9 December 2018 22:17 (five years ago) link
Sometimes it’s ok to talk to the ugly one down the bar. They might have a friend.
― calstars, Wednesday, 19 December 2018 23:55 (five years ago) link
the guy who posts to ilx about how irked he is at children being in the bar might have a friend too. but probably not
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 19 December 2018 23:58 (five years ago) link
also might not be ugly (unlikely)
Tip well on the first, then moderately on subsequents. The aim is to strike the right balance between appearing to be generous and evidencing that you’re cheap enough to appreciate a buy back.
― calstars, Sunday, 23 December 2018 19:35 (five years ago) link
the miserable cunt landlord + his rude staff in my local wouldn't even get a steam off my piss tip off me. £4.60 for a pint of Stella, the place is full of unfriendly white-van yeomen arseholes and it's only 2 years since someone got murdered in the car park. The first time I went in there someone rudely shoulder barged past me because i wasn't a reg and the fool i was with sez: don't worry they were like me that with me for a few years as well.
Just out of interest calstars, how much do you pay for a pint in your bar?
― calzino, Sunday, 23 December 2018 21:29 (five years ago) link
$5 for the cheap stuff, $8 for everything else. Quite a jump. Occasionally there are happy surprises like seasonals that are out of season for half price.
― calstars, Sunday, 23 December 2018 21:42 (five years ago) link
that's just about as expensive as the some of godawful pubs here charge, although if you don't mind making a vile multi-millionaire richer it is much cheaper at Wetherspoons branches. Very much a no-tipping culture in the pubs here because we are such a socialist country.
― calzino, Sunday, 23 December 2018 21:55 (five years ago) link
also know the code name for your drink. calling it by its real name is an insult
― muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:54 (three years ago) link
Bwahaha
― Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:56 (three years ago) link
Assuming the bartender is busy, lower your cost per hour at the bar by bringing a thermos or flask from home
― calstars, Monday, 24 August 2020 21:56 (three years ago) link
PROTIP: Don't go to a bar during COVID
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 24 August 2020 22:43 (three years ago) link
Sometimes a big tip is necessary to alert a new or unfamiliar bartender that you’re “worthy” of buybacks. So if there’s someone new behind the bar, be generous and look forward to the next time for reciprocation.
― calstars, Sunday, 27 September 2020 22:00 (three years ago) link
Just stand in one place and drink until you fall over
― calstars, Sunday, 1 November 2020 23:42 (three years ago) link
If it’s busy, and you score a good spot or table: to deter squatters, order doubles, and have a spare drink on the table at all times
― calstars, Sunday, 14 February 2021 18:35 (three years ago) link
how is that not a dick move
― brimstead, Sunday, 14 February 2021 19:58 (three years ago) link
If it’s crowded, place your half empty drink in clear view of the bartender so that it’s clearly visible when they make their rounds. This allows them to quickly assess, together with a nod on your part, that you’re in need of another round.
― calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 01:49 (three years ago) link
half empty? we only drink half?
― brimstead, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:40 (three years ago) link
Drinking half is a dick move
― calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:42 (three years ago) link
Tip directly into the recipients hand / vision
You all stealin what’s not yours can gfy
― calstars, Monday, 1 March 2021 00:28 (three years ago) link
When arriving at the bar and verbally greeting the bouncer or bartender, volume is more important than content
― calstars, Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:44 (three years ago) link
strolls into doorway, screams "FUCK UP CUNT!!!" across the room, returns to outdoor seating and waits for preferred beverages to be fetched.
― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:51 (three years ago) link
When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction
― calstars, Sunday, 2 May 2021 17:56 (three years ago) link
Don’t creep or hit on the staff
― calstars, Saturday, 5 June 2021 20:25 (two years ago) link
If you’re sitting outside and it’s windy and seats at the place are at a premium and you’re not finished with your round and you have a glass of water and a clean napkin at hand and you need to vacate your spot temporarily, dip a corner of the napkin into the water and drape it over the round, wet edge touching rim and facing the prevailing direction of the wind. This will decrease the chances your napkin will blow away while you’re elsewhere, thereby decreasing the chances a customer looking for a seat will assume yours is available vis a vis the “abandoned” round.
― calstars, Saturday, 24 July 2021 22:14 (two years ago) link
If you need to limit yourself, order the last round, provide your card, and ask the server to close you out
― calstars, Saturday, 31 July 2021 23:44 (two years ago) link
Most graceful way to close out?My vote goes to asking for a glass of water or club when you do so to savor the moment a bit longer
― calstars, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 00:49 (two years ago) link
Some bartenders will sooner give you a buyback if you pay with a card rather than cash; you will have to determine this via experience
― calstars, Friday, 18 February 2022 01:53 (two years ago) link
Always have more cash on hand than necessary
― calstars, Monday, 30 May 2022 20:47 (one year ago) link
― war mice (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 30 May 2022 22:12 (one year ago) link
Fair
― calstars, Monday, 30 May 2022 22:34 (one year ago) link
as a server for the time being, i completely agree -- just tell me how much you want back and i will bring it. don't make me do math!!
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Monday, 30 May 2022 23:47 (one year ago) link
then again, if i am the most sober person (usually) and you cannot be trusted to do math bc u been drinking, i will do it
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Monday, 30 May 2022 23:48 (one year ago) link
A safe assumption
― calstars, Tuesday, 31 May 2022 00:10 (one year ago) link
Stack your cash tips in single file if the service doesn’t pick up after each round. A mess of singles could give the wrong impression.
― calstars, Sunday, 3 July 2022 00:35 (one year ago) link
Each time you visit a regular spot, alternate between paying cash and with a card. Eventually you will be able to earn a free drink — either via the bartender assuming you’re paying with a card, or via plausible deniability that you forgot which payment method you’re using.
― calstars, Sunday, 11 September 2022 17:51 (one year ago) link
If a bartender in a plausible but uncommon spot recognizes you (“how’ve you been?”) but you don’t recognize them, confess the truth
― calstars, Saturday, 24 September 2022 01:33 (one year ago) link
Casual mention of other bartenders at the same place may get you you buybacks earlier
― calstars, Saturday, 3 December 2022 02:09 (one year ago) link
If you’re looking for a buyback, delay payment on your deserving round (4th is best). Have the bartender serve you and if necessary, feign to fumble about for your wallet. This pause allows your server the appropriate time to reflect
― calstars, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 01:04 (one year ago) link
On a hot day, the glass holding your cold beverage may be subject to condensation. Don’t forsake a coaster or a napkin in this scenario. You want that water soaked up during drink downtime — so that it doesn’t drip on your shirt so much when you sip
― calstars, Saturday, 24 June 2023 19:17 (eleven months ago) link
The other option is to drink your cold beverage so quickly that it doesn't have time to attract condensation, or to warm up.
― pomplamoose and circumstance (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 24 June 2023 19:20 (eleven months ago) link
If you’re already sitting down and halfway through, a discreet wipe of the bottom of your glass on your pants before sipping is acceptable
― calstars, Saturday, 24 June 2023 19:41 (eleven months ago) link
Finish right on time
― calstars, Monday, 3 July 2023 22:50 (ten months ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPcN9qbLZ0
― brimstead, Monday, 3 July 2023 23:53 (ten months ago) link
At the cheapest bar around, order bottles or cans. Sometimes glasses get the short shrift.
― calstars, Saturday, 12 August 2023 23:43 (nine months ago) link
Tip 5 at dives
― calstars, Saturday, 18 November 2023 01:06 (six months ago) link
This is obvious but if there’s big tip you want to give to a specific bartender give it to them by hand in cash “you’ve been served”
― calstars, Saturday, 9 December 2023 01:58 (five months ago) link
When you want a canned or bottled beer with a glass on the side, don’t order by saying “(Beer X)and a glass.” This can be misheard (“and” for “in”) and misinterpreted as a request for the draft version of Beer X, which is likely several sovereigns more. Better to preface with “bottle or can of,” and when it arrives, ask the bartender for a glass.
― calstars, Wednesday, 13 March 2024 17:58 (two months ago) link
Don’t touch a cash tip unless there’s a 10 at the bottom of the stack
― calstars, Saturday, 25 May 2024 02:05 (three days ago) link