Thread for Luc Besson's new comic book movie: Valerian

another bit that sticks in my craw: in a laborious and overlong scene, the good officer convinces herbie hancock that he needs the security clearance because clive owen is presumed dead and so you really can't carry out the operation without putting authority in the good officer's hands. the request is granted and the audience has been walked through this logic. then, two scenes later, after it's been reinforced that clive owen may have been up to no good: "these killer robots are programmed to answer only to clive owen! but we have no choice but to let them hang around ominously in the foyer." just head-spinningly dumb, this whiplash between pieces of information the movie wants you to pay attention to that do not make sense when put together.

You are right that this is pretty memorably lousy (for what it tried to be, not even for what we wished it to have been) and I think your airplane screen experience gave you a much more detailed understanding of the plot mechanics than I could have been bothered with. Did I mention Dane DeHaan starring as Space Cop Spicoli? Because he sucks.

This has been my review of your review of a movie we both watched.

by complete accident I watched Dane DeHaan's "Last Thing On Your Phone" piece for Wired and, well, he is Spicoli.

How you read these comic books and decide that Valerian is only a pretty-looking chucklehead, I don't know.