Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

"worldbuilding". Destroy "worldbuilding".

Ah man working in tv you hear stuff like "story beats", "signposting" and myriad other dumb terms flung around endlessly. I blame Hollywood.

I have discovered who Dr. C is in real life. Some of her criticisms are pretty sharp! (This one also thought what's-her-face was Woody and Thandie's daughter.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP8FZ4cBzaI

(That whole taking off the helmet scene was basically this for the audience.)

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/968/818/6b6.png

Solo now projected to be the first Star Wars movie to lose money!

#freelordandmiller

"meet cute" is a staple of screwball comedy, like the one where Jean Arthur gets dunked by a fur coat thrown out the window

I'm bummed that Inherent Vice didn't propel "meet squalid" into the popular vernacular.

gimme the Maz Kanata movie

"meet cute" is a staple of screwball comedy, like the one where Jean Arthur gets dunked by a fur coat thrown out the window

― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius),

first Mitchell Leisen allusion in a Star Wars thread

Would watch

A DENGAR stand-alone STAR WARS film where he's in a Salieri/Mozart rivalry with Boba Fett.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 7, 2018

This is the kind of nonsense this universe needs

when the head of the pirates took off her helmet, I first wondered if she was supposed to be the long-lost daughter of Harrelson and Newton's characters but I may have been the only one

This was my first thought, I guess because she looked like she could be their daughter, and also because the scene was played like a dramatic unmasking, like we're supposed to be surprised who's underneath the helmet... and it turns out to be someone we've never seen or heard before, and neither have the protagonists. I guess the idea was for the viewer to be shocked, "Oh my god, it's a girl!", a la the first Metroid game, but the SW universe is so full of ass-kicking young women, it's baffling if they thought this would shock us.

What made it worse that this was soon followed by another dramatic unmasking that was almost equally baffling. Tho I've watched some of Clone Wars, I didn't know they'd brought Maul back there, but the idea that he's alive didn't really bother me, 'cos you could clearly see his robotic legs in the hologram, and Vader had already survived worse. No, what was baffling was that they decided to bring back a character who was last seen in a movie almost 20 years ago, and who most people remember as a barely-vocal muscle of the big bad, but now all of a sudden he's the mastermind leader of a crime syndicate. Is Maul still working for Palpatine, or has he developed an intelligence of his own and changed from a lackey to a don? Maybe all of this is explained in the Solo sequels (if they ever get made), but as a revelation in this movie it was completely disconnected from anything that happened before it. As cliched as that would've been, I would've preferred if the mysterious boss had been revealed to be, like, Val or Rio, who'd merely faked his death. Or at least someone who had actually appeared or been mentioned in the movie before.

Another nitpicky thing that bugged me was the whole concept of coaxium. Like, we're told this an extremely important resource, as IIRC coaxium was said be the only fuel that allows starships to go into hyperdrive. And Kessel is explicitly stated to be the only known place where you can mine unrefined coaxium, which then gets turned into the fuel. So why is this crucially important mining site controlled by 20 or 30 crime syndicate thugs, who get easily overthrown by some rebelling slaves? You'd think the Empire would find the only source for hyperdrive fuel to be an extremely important site, so why hadn't they taken control of it ages ago?

The scene with the mysterious boss is not in any way about "fill in the following entry in the Crimson Dawn org chart" - it's about Q'ira's actions and her control of her future.

Well yeah, but in that case it could've just been a completely new character instead of Maul. If the only point of him was to serve that function in Ki'Ras character arc, then bringing back a dead character who seems completely out of place in that role was a bad choice, cos it makes the viewer focus on Maul, and what his survival and leadership of Crimson Dawn implies, instead of her.

i did kinda wonder about the coaxium being kept behind triple-locked vaults etc in every other place it exists but then there's this coaxium REFINERY where you can just wheel it up in a dolly and a desert dude comes up and says "thanks, hot stuff" and goes back to making porridge while u chill on the beach. but like, there's probably a reason? that we are not shown? which is fine??

They died on the Kessel Run - the rest of the film is Lost-type personal revelations

i did kinda wonder about the coaxium being kept behind triple-locked vaults etc in every other place it exists but then there's this coaxium REFINERY where you can just wheel it up in a dolly and a desert dude comes up and says "thanks, hot stuff" and goes back to making porridge while u chill on the beach. but like, there's probably a reason? that we are not shown?

It seemed pretty obvious that particular refinery was a clandestine/illegal operation, since Crimson Dawn was a regular customer? Whereas the triple-locked coaxium was official Empire product, most likely produced in hi-security Empire refineries. (Hence Beckett never suggested raiding some Empire facility to pay his coaxium debt to Dryden Vos, the train heist seems to have been a one-off lucky chance that couldn't be repeated.) I still don't get why Kessel was such a low-security place and/or not controlled by the Empire tho? Clearly the Empire was buying stuff from Kessel too, judging by how fast that star destroyed appeared to stop the Millenium Falcon from getting away.

yes, that was my point :)

The Empire was a more half-assed operation than we initially thought

or that some cultures in this big universe have a different relationship with coaxium than the state military juntas of the empire and the rebellion

though maybe not; the various species and planets and cultures of star wars have a curiously consistent set of values. apart from lol the ewoks

they totally ate some stormtroopers

It may be a while before we see any more movies like Solo: A Star Wars Story out of Lucasfilm. Sources with knowledge of the situation tell Collider that Lucasfilm has decided to put plans for more A Star Wars Story spinoff movies on hold, instead opting to focus their attention on Star Wars: Episode IX and what the next trilogy of Star Wars films will be after that film. Sources tell us that the previously rumored Obi-Wan movie was in active development, but those who were working on the film are no longer involved. It was recently reported that Logan filmmaker James Mangold was in early talks to write and direct the Boba Fett film, but that was before Solo’s release.

This news comes in the wake of the disappointing launch of Solo, which was only Lucasfilm’s second A Star Wars Story spinoff, but which received mixed-positive reviews and fell short of box office expectations. The film scored $84.4 million on opening weekend and has grossed $192.8 million domestically (and $339.5 million worldwide) in four weeks, which is nothing to scoff at but is far, far lower than the performance of other Star Wars movies at this benchmark. For comparison’s sake, Rogue One opened to $155 million and had grossed $424 million domestic by Week 4. To put it simply, while Solo did fine by blockbuster standards, it wasn’t the “event” that Lucasfilm expected out of a brand new Star Wars movie.

Both Star Wars Story films are much more enjoyable than The Last Jedi

Actual crazy talk, there.

I just re-watched TLJ the other night. There are parts I like, but it's kind of a train wreck.

the lure of Rogue One was pretty obvious. it's an easy sell for a story ("This is how the Rebellion got the plans for the Death Star"), and the locations and action scenes highlighted in the ad campaign were vv enticing. And in the end the film was excellent enough that word-of-mouth was a major part of its success. This was a spinoff that made as much as The Dark Knight. As a film it had a reason for being made, the story was already hinted at in the original films, and it was done in a pretty interesting way. Visually it was pretty outstanding, probably the best-looking SW film imo.

w/Solo, there were lots of issues from the outside looking in that had nothing to do with its troubled production (not the least of which was the campaign never gave a decent idea of what the film was about, and it looked a bit cheap), but ultimately I'm not sure how much SW fans cared to see Han Solo played by a random younger Alden/Ansel/Taron actor (which would be a problem for anyone trying to play younger versions of the three major characters from the original series tbh.)

To put it simply, while Solo did fine by blockbuster standards, it wasn’t the “event” that Lucasfilm expected out of a brand new Star Wars movie

Don't get the impression Lucasfilm were expecting it quite like that given how much they sheltered it pre-release plus just putting it out less than six months after a major new episode in the first place. They lowered expectations intentionally after unintended developments but perhaps also to reconfig for a more Marvel-like release schedule from now on (going by there being at least two new trilogies plus at least one more Story prequel).

omar otm - for a crap movie, solo did great!

Rogue One had a tight direction and a well-structured plot, but the characters were paper-thin, so it was kinda hard to care about their fate. Solo is kinda the opposite, rounded characters and decent-to-excellent actors, but the plot was all over the place, with too many fanservice boxes to tick. Still liked it more than RO tho, cos it's not like any of these movies (except maybe The Last Jedi) can wow me with unexpected plot twists and idiosyncrasies, so good ensembles and nice character interplay is the best they can do.

while Solo did fine by blockbuster standards

Isn't it struggling to break even?

which would be a problem for anyone trying to play younger versions of the three major characters from the original series tbh

xp: According to boxofficemojo ATM, Solo has grossed $343 million worldwide. Given a reported $250-300 million production budget, it has some ways to go before breakeven. Rule of thumb is twice the production budget. This doesn't figure the cost for the IP, $4 billion in 2012.

i loved Rogue One. the characters were all pretty interesting and distinct, i had no problem caring about them at the end. the intro with Jynn & her parents was brilliant. the ST films have been so bad about presenting the Empire as a personal threat you feel connected to through a lead character and this was a positive step in that direction.

another highlight was Chirrut Îmwe as a force user who doesn't say Jedi or Sith or balance the prophecy or any mumbo jumbo but actually presents and interesting and mysterious take on hackneyed material. the next movie they just photocopied Luke's Jedi journey from ESB & ROTJ and everyone sat back and said it was bold, unexpected filmmaking.

adam

Did Rey lose a hand? No, so.

one of the main complaints about TLJ was that it wasn't enough like ESB, Luke was depressed and didn't really train her. fans on the whole might've been more happy if it was like TFA which true enough was a carbon copy of Episode IV

the force shit in rogue one was among the most embarrassing things about it iirc

hah did Rey lose a hand. if you tweak one thing in a wholly lifted plot it is brave and bold. it was a carbon copy of ESB and ROTJ as much as TFA was a carbon copy of ANH. Luke is Yoda/Obi Wan. he is the hermit who does not fight (Yoda "Wars not make one great") and trains Rey, the young and anxious Jedi apprentice. she is the Luke here. she goes to an isolated place to learn from a non-warrior who is secretly a warrior. she goes to a hole in a tree just like Luke did. she learns to lift rocks just like Luke did. she leaves with the training unfinished like Luke did. yes her hand did not get cut off. apparently making one change while doing everything else the same is bold and new. but then she does ROTJ. she shows up in handcuffs to the enemy base like Luke in ROTJ. she ends up in a three way conversation like Luke in ROTJ. she fights against both bad guys and sees the one she is connected to kill his master like Luke in ROTJ. because this happens in the 2nd film and not the 3rd film people think this is stunning and new and brilliant. it is not. it is the same plot just shifted one film over.

similarly most of the things Luke does are based on Yoda/Obi Wan in ANH/ESB. Yoda is introduced laughing at the idea of a warrior and saying "Wars not make one great" the unwilling teacher, Luke does that here. Obi Wan force projects onto two different planets in ESB and Luke does that. Obi Wan lies to his apprentice in ESB and Luke does that. Obi Wan dies in a sacrificial last stand to a Jedi-Sith lighstaber battle on the other side of a slowly closing door and Luke does that.

them smashing a star destroyer into another one has already been done in 2 or 3 other Star Wars films. people kept saying the lightspeed ramming thing was brilliant and never before done. lol ok

is being a force ghost the same as force projecting

ofc

they smashed a spaceship into another spaceship FASTER THAN ANYONE HAS BEFORE

genius

Obi Wan sends his force projection across Hoth and Dagoba in ESB

i get it now, you're trolling

TLJ is the most interesting movie in the series since ESB

I think the Finn/Rose side story lost a little momentum but was their Cloud City moment. Could have used a shock “Vader’s coming to dinner” moment

imo the best anthology work right now is two of the comics telling pieces of the same story

Best Star Wars fan theory that is both dumb and great: Luke didn’t die, he just felt really homesick after seeing the dual sunset and he force teleported home to Tatooine

I like it. Everyone knows that the whole point of the sunset scene in A New Hope is that he loves being on Tatooine.

for some reason Luke can only truly come out of exile by passing through Tatooine

lmao jmm

Adam, reading your posts about TLJ, I finally understand the trauma that the ending of Lost wreaked upon me and, more importantly, the trauma I've wreaked upon friends and loved ones any time the show has been evoked in conversation. I apologize profusely to everyone affected, and, Adam, I hope that you are also able to find peace within you one day and forgive Rian Johnson for his crimes against humanity. Namaste.

That Wee Robot That Cuts About the Death Star: A Star Wars Story
That Wean Anakin Murders Wae a Lightsaber: A Star Wars Story
That Arsepiece That Runs a 1950s Diner: A Star Wars Story
That Shite R2 Unit That Uncle Owen Didnae Buy: A Star Wars Story
Yer Da: A Star Wars Story

— Andy Kelly (@ultrabrilliant) June 21, 2018