They're drying on paper towels in the office bathroom as we speak.
― LMN, Thursday, 1 December 2005 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link
i used to sit opposite a dude with a paperclip collection. i wrote about it here once. fucked if i can find the thread now.
compared to some of the spunkers i've worked with since, he was a godhead.
― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 1 December 2005 22:22 (eighteen years ago) link
I'm tired of me and my colleagues getting stuck with tasking on shit that the customer really honestly ought to be doing for themselves. I know it's bullshit to go on about "not in my job description" but why the fuck can't our unit chief do his own goddamned google searches for products? He does next to jack shit otherwise all day.
Very angry. Good night.
― ............, Thursday, 1 December 2005 23:08 (eighteen years ago) link
― ai15a (ailsa), Thursday, 1 December 2005 23:49 (eighteen years ago) link
JESUS H! That is probably the most retarded thing I've ever heard! I mean, how expensive ar paperclips? And so what if they're dirty?
I'm cross because it's my last day of work and my boss won't let me leave till 8pm.
― Carl Handwriting (dog latin), Friday, 2 December 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 2 December 2005 19:42 (eighteen years ago) link
this is how her side of the conversation went:
"so if i'm doing it online, what do i put where it says 'how many years' no-claims bonus?'"
[pause]
"ohh, right. so you can't just lie about that?"
"riiight. that would explain why the last quote was so cheap. i just put '10 years'". [cue much giggling and me approaching homicide level]
also, our fucking server has just gone down. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:31 (eighteen years ago) link
Grimly/Stet, I saw your esteemed publication ran a story on this earlier in the week, although it said that a decision was due in January (this was what we thought too but they've decided to let staff know first). Coincidence?
― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 11:46 (eighteen years ago) link
― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 11:51 (eighteen years ago) link
― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:03 (eighteen years ago) link
I explained the noun/verb thing and told him the trick is to devise a device to help him remember, but he looked pissed off because I didn't take the bait and ask him all about the Important Business of applying for a Chinese trading licence.
― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:25 (eighteen years ago) link
― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:26 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 17:51 (eighteen years ago) link
― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 17:55 (eighteen years ago) link
― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 17:56 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 17:56 (eighteen years ago) link
thass good! i've always used "advice" and "advise" to illustrate the difference, but this is better.
― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 17:59 (eighteen years ago) link
He writes:
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.... "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642 According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Give one the finger? ...... I think not.
From my boss. He sends me things like this all the time. He thinks they're funny.
― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 18:01 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 18:05 (eighteen years ago) link
― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 18:15 (eighteen years ago) link
― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 18:36 (eighteen years ago) link
― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 8 December 2005 11:22 (eighteen years ago) link
― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 8 December 2005 11:48 (eighteen years ago) link
― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 8 December 2005 11:49 (eighteen years ago) link
ME: "OK mary what are you shouting about?"Fatty: "LUNA, LUNA DI LUNA?"ME: "WTF IS THAT?"FATTY: "That wine i brought in for Kristin a month ago."Me: "What does that have to do with me being awake?"Fatty: "Thought you'd want some wine."Me: "Get away from me, im half asleep."Fatty: "LUNA, LUNA, LUNA DI LUNA."
At this point i got up and walked away.
― slow jamz and white guy indie acoustic shit (Chris V), Thursday, 8 December 2005 12:01 (eighteen years ago) link
Someone here the other day received a hoax email warning from a customer, and decided she'd better click on "Forward" and "All users". By the time I had a chance to go and moan at her, she'd already received three other complaints about it from senior managers.
spending two hours trying to insert a picture into a word document
The office secretary here often has to insert pictures - company logos, and so on - into Word documents. And she can NEVER remember how to do it. Even though she does it every week or two, EVERY SINGLE TIME she tries to insert it by clicking Open, and then phones me up to say: "I can't open this image! It's just gibberish! Word says it can't convert it to anything"
― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 8 December 2005 12:08 (eighteen years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 December 2005 12:18 (eighteen years ago) link
― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 8 December 2005 12:19 (eighteen years ago) link
― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 8 December 2005 13:08 (eighteen years ago) link
― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 8 December 2005 13:10 (eighteen years ago) link
― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 8 December 2005 13:46 (eighteen years ago) link
― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 8 December 2005 13:47 (eighteen years ago) link
― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 8 December 2005 14:12 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 8 December 2005 14:17 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 8 December 2005 16:13 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 8 December 2005 16:19 (eighteen years ago) link
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 8 December 2005 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link
this annoyed me. i hate it when people confound my expectations and make me feel guilty.
― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 8 December 2005 23:45 (eighteen years ago) link
yeah, i have one who whistles maybe a bit too much but otherwise i've yet to work with someone (at this job, anyway) who really rubs me the wrong way. that's what the patrons are for!
― joseph (joseph), Friday, 9 December 2005 01:12 (eighteen years ago) link
but it's true though!
― ken c (ken c), Friday, 9 December 2005 10:47 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 9 December 2005 10:54 (eighteen years ago) link
― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 9 December 2005 10:56 (eighteen years ago) link
― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 9 December 2005 10:59 (eighteen years ago) link
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 9 December 2005 11:03 (eighteen years ago) link
― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 9 December 2005 11:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― emilys. (emilys.), Friday, 9 December 2005 11:36 (eighteen years ago) link
ari up!
― thorstein veblen (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 9 December 2005 11:54 (eighteen years ago) link
When a senior coworker to V1c switched to his shift I assumed she was becoming the new lead so I wouldn't have to include him on e-mails anymore. Wrong. Oops.
V1c has now turned my and 2nd-shift lead St3v3's recent practice of not CC'ing him on every goddamned thing into an HR issue. Oh yes. The story goes, according to him, that we are retaliating against him and shunning him from our discussions because we feel he is responsible for our former manager leaving the contract (a Mr. Ru5H, whom v1c70r filed an ethics complaint against, later discovered to be unfounded but nevertheless enough of a pain in the ass to make Mr. Ru5H renege his promise to stay for at least one full year and take up more worthy employment with a competitor), and he is being unfairly pushed out of his position and his actions are being misrepresented by prejudiced white guys who have an axe to grind.
Meanwhile, our project manager gave V1c a simple task (research and compile feature sets on various content filtering solutions, draw up a comparison chart, and make a recommendation- e.g. Google "enterprise web filter" and open up Word, FFS) and V1c sat on it for a week and then said he couldn't do it. YOU WORK THE FUCKING NIGHT SHIFT. WE GAVE L30L4 THE ENTIRE L*G & **D*T PLAN REWRITE AND SHE GOT IT DONE ON TIME, AND SHE HAD TO LEARN A SHIT-TON OF NEW STUFF ALONG THE WAY. Anyway the result was that S73v3 and I had to write it up and make it pretty in double-time to deliver to the "customer" and NOW, V1c, having been enlightened as to some other old e-mail I didn't cc him on, wants to "get involved" with another project we're working on because he claims it's "one of [his] areas of expertise." Oh go fuck yourself.
V1c, your only area of expertise displayed thus far is bullshitting, stalling, dumping on others and making everyone who works with you hate your fucking guts. And cc'ing senior staff/government officials on internal discussions whenever you don't get your way. You are a perfect business case example of how to be a piece of shit employee. I wish you were just lazy and dumb. Instead, you're lazy, dumb and a huge prick to everyone.
― TOMBOT, Friday, 9 December 2005 14:46 (eighteen years ago) link
― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 10 December 2005 01:20 (eighteen years ago) link
― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 10 December 2005 01:29 (eighteen years ago) link