Yeah
― Garden variety uncouth (Ross), Sunday, 1 July 2018 18:13 (five years ago) link
my forties were fucking heavy.the biggest rollercoaster of my life.already my 50s have proved to be interesting.a few days before I turned 50 I was made redundant for the first time in my life.and 6 months on, I have no desire to ever return to the full time/corp crap.its been a lovely experience just being a stay at home dad, and stuff.once the dad thing is over though I suspect things will be very different.so, already my 50s is very very different to what my expectations were.
― mark e, Sunday, 1 July 2018 19:11 (five years ago) link
Maybe we're going to need a new thread for ILX'ers in their 50s.... Great to hear bits of everyone's stories. I'm 53. Between work and having twins at age 40, my 40s went by in a blur. Time has slowed down now that the kids are older and I feel like I've kinda figured out what I like and what I don't. Just more comfortable doing me. And there's still plenty left to accomplish. I'm lucky to be in a line of work that values experience & perspective so getting older actually opens up some opportunities.
― that's not my post, Monday, 2 July 2018 05:23 (five years ago) link
we're going to need a new thread for ILX'ers in their 50s
Predictably, every ilx thread with a title containing the words "fifties" or "sixties" refer to either the 1950s or 1960s.
― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 2 July 2018 05:27 (five years ago) link
In my early 50s and I agree with everyone upthread that your 50s is qualitatively quite different from your 40s. In my 40s I felt in the midst of my life, I could still take major life-changing decisions in my stride like moving continents. Now, I'm more like, this is what I made of my life, I chose this pathway for good or ill, I'm stuck with it.
And then there's health. Ten years ago I felt in perfect health - now I sleep with a CPAP machine, I've got a dodgy knee that I'll probably have to live with for the rest of my life, I'm on a daily statin for my high cholesterol ... To get down to brutal brass tacks, I guess the fact that I'll eventually die felt more abstract in my 40s, and more real now.
― Zelda Zonk, Monday, 2 July 2018 05:54 (five years ago) link
Not long till I'm eligible for this thread and everyone's bailing on it? Story of my life.
― Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Monday, 2 July 2018 08:54 (five years ago) link
My old life came to an end in my fifties. I was made redundant at 51, thus bringing a 28-year career to a close, as my senior technical IT skillset is no longer marketable. That was fine; I rarely enjoyed the work very much, and having just paid off the mortgage, my living costs were reduced. I look back on those 28 years as a means to an end - something I had to do, and that I'm glad to be done with. I make a far more modest living these days, but my job satisfaction and work ethic are massively higher.
Then, at 52, we left the city I had lived in for 34 years, and moved to a small town in a different part of the country, where we knew no-one. So I've basically had to re-invent myself. The first year was lonely and tough, but I forced myself to adapt, integrate and contribute, and I now love my new life.
― mike t-diva, Monday, 2 July 2018 11:52 (five years ago) link
and I now love my new life
this is heartening to hear, both as a positive example and also i'm glad you're doing well mike
― I'd Rather Kecak (NickB), Monday, 2 July 2018 12:08 (five years ago) link
This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's
― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Monday, 2 July 2018 12:56 (five years ago) link
15 months I was at the best point in my adult life. I was doing what I loved, and generating a good income from it. I had no debt! Then I decided to try to make a good situation even better by adding drugs. That worked for about three months until the drugs took over. I had severe addiction issues in the past; I just thought I'd be able to manage it this time.
I went broke (and unemployed) last September. My life the last 9 months has been heavy, heavy going. But just last month I met a guy in AA, an extraordinarily kind, wise, thoughtful dude, and he's been coaching me into, hopefully, a better way to live. He's got me running around like a headless chicken, but it's working, I feel real hope, real joy. My whole fucking life has been bullshit basically, but maybe that can change. I'll do whatever. I'm 43 -- sorry for the lifestory I maybe needed to express this somewhere.
― glengarry glen lurkmore (rip van wanko), Monday, 2 July 2018 14:55 (five years ago) link
Thanks for that. I'm in a similar situation myself, been thinking about AA.
― albvivertine, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:14 (five years ago) link
xp No, that's fair enough, 40s have a way of producing self-reflection.
I started mine at the start of 2015, in a protracted breakup with my ex-fiancée, and at the weekend I got affianced again. This seems ridiculously lucky - I was expecting a quiet life going to the pub and occasional movies, with some ILX elder statesmen (S's Mark & Martin) as role models.
Now I have to actually go out and get that blood test (for high blood pressure) that I was hoping to ignore for another few months.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:22 (five years ago) link
fiancées will do that alright (grats)
― the last famous poster you were surprised to discover was actually (darraghmac), Monday, 2 July 2018 15:25 (five years ago) link
Congrats YMOF.
― Tim, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:25 (five years ago) link
ty ty.
― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 2 July 2018 15:33 (five years ago) link
Indeed, adding to that.
50 still a ways off but I'll hit three-quarters through my forties in two more months; as 50 is theoretically the earliest I could retire (not that I plan on it) I do see it as something I want to get through, if only because it opens up a few more general possibilities. But I'll enjoy the time I have now, of course.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 2 July 2018 16:27 (five years ago) link
retire?!
― j., Monday, 2 July 2018 17:02 (five years ago) link
i'm 48 and i honestly can't see me being able to give up work for at least another 20 years ;_;
― I'd Rather Kecak (NickB), Monday, 2 July 2018 17:16 (five years ago) link
public servant fistbump
course the actuarial cut is swingeing
― the last famous poster you were surprised to discover was actually (darraghmac), Monday, 2 July 2018 17:17 (five years ago) link
Just don’t retire from ilx, Ned
― calstars, Monday, 2 July 2018 17:20 (five years ago) link
I was here the first day, think I'll be here when they finally turn out the lights.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 2 July 2018 17:26 (five years ago) link
;)
― glengarry glen lurkmore (rip van wanko), Monday, 2 July 2018 17:33 (five years ago) link
I don't know, man. I hoping ilxor can keep up and running until the inevitable message board revival of 2029. We'll all be like gods.
― President Keyes, Monday, 9 July 2018 14:00 (five years ago) link
ilx will run longer than snl or the simpsons and will promote just as many arguments about when it turned to shite.
― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 9 July 2018 16:25 (five years ago) link
That's the site description right there!
― Mark G, Monday, 9 July 2018 23:13 (five years ago) link
“public servant fistbump” is a good username
― El Tomboto, Monday, 9 July 2018 23:25 (five years ago) link
Rather.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 9 July 2018 23:30 (five years ago) link
It's surreal to realize that I met some of you when I was in my late teens (in college) on the Fake Matador Bulletin Board, and I've been on here since...what, my early 20s? I'll probably die in the middle of an ILX post, and that thought doesn't really sadden me.
― Groove(box) Denied (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 00:18 (five years ago) link
I was on FMBB but I dont remember anyone from here?!
― Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:19 (five years ago) link
In seven months, I'll be a member of this thread.
― I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
Morbz was on FMBB, so was Johnny Fever (right?)
I was as well (as Domino)
xp
― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/20BpjIg.jpg
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:31 (five years ago) link
Is it common once you've reached your forties to basically no longer GAF about having reached your forties, because it's been a year and I'm basically just all like 'whatever, dude' about the whole thing. Maybe if I was like a skateboarder or something and started feeling my knees give out it would be a big deal, but I can still sit around and do nothing of consequence with just as much alacrity as I could in decades past.
― Welcome to Gropelord, TX (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:31 (five years ago) link
I just started the last year of my 40s as of yesterday. ;_;
― Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:39 (five years ago) link
Is it common once you've reached your forties to basically no longer GAF about having reached your forties
it depends on your social life/lifestyle ... I'm about half way through my 40s and I generally don't GAF, but sometimes I'm out somewhere, and I'm talking to a friend or a member of the desired sex, and the fact that I am much older than that person, like, I got my driver's license the year they were born, or I could have gone to high school with their parents ... it can be a bit awkward
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:45 (five years ago) link
I turned 40 this year but I've been going grey since I was 15 so not much has changed from getting older.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:47 (five years ago) link
I really want to grow out my hair so it's all white but I think I would have to shave my head first.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:49 (five years ago) link
ageism is rampant and more or less sanctioned afaicti refuse to impose it on myself so i try to feel as good as i can about my age, which is >40
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:50 (five years ago) link
I'm 44 and I get one or two gray hairs a month ... I pluck them ... it's probably partly why ppl tend to think I'm younger than I am
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:52 (five years ago) link
i am a spazz and sometimes like to just sprint like i'm running a receiver route or something, but when my says "GO!!" by body says, let's just not
wow 44 is late to start going gray
― itsabot! (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:53 (five years ago) link
I think I am pretty much 80-85% grey but I have really dark hair and it's long so it would all have to go at once.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:55 (five years ago) link
also just that socially, I think people tend to assume/want it to be the case that the people they socialize with are like them -- with similarities in age being part of that. For me, it's not a case of being "old" = "bad" but that there is a difference as opposed to a similarity. I see the same thing play out with economic class and it used to be this way re race, though people are now way more conscientious of race issues.
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:56 (five years ago) link
Maybe if I was like a skateboarder or something and started feeling my knees give out it would be a big deal, but I can still sit around and do nothing of consequence with just as much alacrity as I could in decades past.
I play a lot of basketball and am better than I was when I was 20, though prob not quite as quick. Can actually jump lil higher tho. Older guys I've played with say 50 is when they really started feeling like their body was betraying them.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:59 (five years ago) link
6 months to go.
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 19:59 (five years ago) link
xpost one of the things i like about big cities is age matters less socially. I find it difficult to figure out how old someone is and for the most part people don't really care.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:00 (five years ago) link
yeah, I like the fact that my urban social community has a wide difference in ages -- it is like a multi-generational family in that way -- but in specific instances it can be awkward, like when you are 44 and a dude hits on you and says he is 24 ... do you have mommy issues or ....?
― sarahell, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:04 (five years ago) link
i laughed when i found out i was the same age as my new colleague's parents.
― Toss another shrimpl air on the bbqbbq (ledge), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:08 (five years ago) link
I know what you mean but in the small towns I've been living in last few years (hefty population of transplants, so wanting to connect with new people), a lot of the clubs and meetups and art/music/etc events attract all ages. Simply because there is a limited number of people and events. Can't have a over 50 art club for Methodist Veterans or whatever but can have a general Art Club and oh hey I've never actually done art but am I retiree in a new town and it'd be fun to give art a try and I bet they're not too serious about it here and are eager for new members and hmm isn't that the 20 yr old tatted-up artsy barrista from the corner shop over there at an easel?
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:09 (five years ago) link
When I first started consciously feeling / realizing I was older than the people around me, I had the tendency to bring up age in conversation. But no one really cares. It’s really not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. Now when I overhear older people talking about how old they are to younger people - especially in an attempt to be funny- I just smh
― calstars, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:16 (five years ago) link
otm
― itsabot! (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 20:17 (five years ago) link