what was the worst time in your life

this doesn't really seem to be the smartest time to advertise that, sorry

(not that it isn't semi-public but)

I feel like I just lurch from crisis to crisis: a stepdad battering my mother, a new stepdad battering me, bullied at school for being camp and academic, thrown out for being gay, taking custody of my brother in my late teens, doing a degree I shouldn't have and then not being able to find work in it or wanting to, having my house burgled, two redundancies, mugged at knifepoint, estrangement from my mother, manic episodes brought on by medication, probably other significant stuff too?

but the worst times weren't because of these specific causes, they were because I felt I had nobody to talk to about them - the burglary was awful but people came through with visits and gifts and Tangible Help, whereas the depression I fell into when I was 22 was awful because it let me push everyone away and I had nobody to talk to. Things are rarely great but my advice to anyone in the worst time in their life would be to find someone - a friend, a therapist, whoever - and let someone help you get through it.

Good advice, and take care boxedjoy.

sounds like you've been through the wringer, boxedjoy. fwiw all the best to you.

I mean in writing it all sounds awful but when I read through this thread I think there's people who've dealt with a lot lot worse. I've never had a major bereavement yet, thankfully.

the other thing about talking to people is that when they listen, they are actively choosing to be around you, they are doing you a kindness by offering their time and support and they're not obliged to, and just realising that is always a boost. I turned 30 a few months back and I invited people to come to our house for a small party, not everyone I hoped to see made it but all the ones who did, they chose to spend time and money and effort on that, and it's things like that that make a huge difference to me. I might start a companion thread (unless it exists and I missed it), "what was the best time in your life?"

heh that never occurred to me but would be a welcome antidote

What was the best time in your life and how did you get yourself out of it

inheritance

boxedjoy that is so, so relatable. When my suicidality became a real thing, and I reached out to friends about it, asking for help, I was constantly told to get "inpatient care" (not what I needed), or told "we all are suicidal, every day." I remember wishing, rather morbidly, that I had cancer instead of what I had, because a tangible, physical ailment would be easier for my friends to understand and provide me with the support I needed. But this is the worst part about mental health stuff. The very thing you need-- social support, friends to distract you-- is the very thing that we're conditioned to avoid.

yeah in retrospect I probably would have gotten out of my post-relationship / post-maybe-assault rut if I'd had anyone to talk to, but I didn't, so it took years to get the worst of it mostly behind me

Right now. My 7 month old boy has a rare disease that’s basically cancer. My 17 year relationship is struggling as a result. Life is basically hell, some days.

Great empathy your way, SM. That situation creates enormous emotional turmoil and grief, while forbidding you to collapse under its weight, because your child needs every scrap of strength and aid you can give. You suffer and have no chance to express it. Try not to despair. Everything changes and there is a further shore you'll all find together.

Our daughter had open heart surgery when she was 8 weeks old, and strange to say, the discovery of her malformed heart, the surgery and the recovery period (during which she received NO painkillers of any description!!) may not even qualify as the worst time of my life. That list is kind of top-heavy. :(

Two times, both career-related. 1) The first half of 1985--turned down for grad school, working at a job I hated. Starting to write for local music monthly turned me around. 2) Most of 1989. The magazine I was working for went bankrupt, went into a job at a television station I hated, got fired from that. Getting into teacher's college brought all that to a close.

sorry to hear about your situation SM, sending good vibes your way FWIW

I didn't even read the previous posts, sorry. Ditto.

Very sorry to hear, SM.

Katherine feel free to reach out to me if you want, or not, but best wishes

very sorry to hear that SM

In regards to the earlier question on how do you work your way out of a bad time in your life, 2010 - ended a 10 year relationship so i moved to a new city and started a job in a medical career for about 7 years. During that time I met my ex and dated for about 8 months and remained friends for 4 years but things became increasingly worse in my life again, for a variety of reasons. It is really hard to think of a cure all, but at this point in my life i want to re-imagine my life for the better after all the warning signs have occurred, and get on a path to peace and love

and i hope the best for you all