but fuck golf anyways!
― calzino, Sunday, 14 October 2018 19:56 (five years ago) link
i've been on ILM long enough to know there are lots of things that are good in themselves that only get a bad rep because of some of the people associated with them
― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 14 October 2018 19:58 (five years ago) link
Like Dave matthews
― Yah Mo B. Hawkins (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 14 October 2018 19:59 (five years ago) link
(JOKING)
― Yah Mo B. Hawkins (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 14 October 2018 20:00 (five years ago) link
i meant like music
― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 14 October 2018 20:00 (five years ago) link
it’s not about physical space, it’s about water
That's not a problem in Scotland - but I get it's a problem elsewhere.
― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Sunday, 14 October 2018 20:49 (five years ago) link
No carts
― brimstead, Sunday, 14 October 2018 20:52 (five years ago) link
Golf is associated with Scotland because the rules, bylaws, rituals, courtesies, self-discipline, record-keeping etc exemplify traits of Presbyterianism.
― everything, Sunday, 14 October 2018 21:31 (five years ago) link
and because it was invented there
― Number None, Sunday, 14 October 2018 21:54 (five years ago) link
thats why Hess flew to Scotland, he knew they were a bunch of Tory cunts!
― calzino, Sunday, 14 October 2018 21:59 (five years ago) link
Golf is as american as apple pie
― F# A# (∞), Sunday, 14 October 2018 22:05 (five years ago) link
The two main powers in St Andrews are the university and the Royal and Ancient - both very conservative forces, unfortunately.
― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Monday, 15 October 2018 00:40 (five years ago) link
xp apple pie isn't American either so that works
― Colonel Poo, Monday, 15 October 2018 08:53 (five years ago) link
Golf to me is like a religion. I fucking hate it but what a lovely venue.
― nashwan, Monday, 15 October 2018 09:07 (five years ago) link
The number of times I've seen a lovely large unlabelled green space near our new house on google maps, switched on the satellite view to see what it is and found out it's a golf course.
That number of times, my friends, is two.
― Toss another shrimpl air on the bbqbbq (ledge), Monday, 15 October 2018 09:08 (five years ago) link
Love the solitude of golf. Spent most of my days off this summer teeing off at 5am and having the course completely to myself aside from a few dog walkers and joggers.
― oscar bravo, Monday, 15 October 2018 09:42 (five years ago) link
One time we were eating in the local Chinese restaurant when some guy turns up to wait for a takeaway and gets talking to the (Chinese) proprietor
somehow he gets on to complaining that there are too many immigrants, a controversial topic of conversation in general and surely a bit rude in the circumstances. he rants for a while, all the usual. eventually he says it is a problem for him because they don't speak good enough English and it makes his job as a teacher harder
the other half and I work in education and are both children of teachers, so this piques our curiosity/outrage a little. what does this man, this obliviously rude man but one who perhaps has a useful public-spirited job which he feels is being hindered in some way, teach? the restaurant manager also asks him what he teaches, in remarkably polite cheery tones
he says
he teaches
GOLF
he is a golf instructor at the course up the hill! sometimes foreigners come for an introductory golf session! and they don't speak perfect English! it is a disaster! a disaster for this very important golf instructor, ranting about foreigners to the Chinese restaurant evening manager who speaks excellent English and btw has a day job as a lawyer!
in summary, lol golfists, the end
― a passing spacecadet, Monday, 15 October 2018 09:50 (five years ago) link
if all golf courses were land-mined one night, the arsehole quotient would be right down. This is indisputable and completely uncontroversial!
― calzino, Monday, 15 October 2018 10:03 (five years ago) link
Being controversial, I'd say golf isn't a sport it's a leisure pursuit/pastime/hobby and is only taken seriously because so many complete wankers play it!
― calzino, Monday, 15 October 2018 10:07 (five years ago) link
Well, golf is undoubtedly a game; I don’t really care what makes something a sport
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, 15 October 2018 15:11 (five years ago) link
making controps that hold any water is a game as well, a difficult one for me tbh.
― calzino, Monday, 15 October 2018 15:15 (five years ago) link
I live behind a golf course and enjoy the view.
― Ned Trifle X, Monday, 15 October 2018 15:25 (five years ago) link
I don't golf, but I do like biking at 5:30am along golf cart tracks and seeing deer and rabbits out on the courses as the sun comes up
― fgti is for (flamboyant goon tie included), Monday, 15 October 2018 15:41 (five years ago) link
FellasIlx’ing is a sport
― F# A# (∞), Monday, 15 October 2018 16:13 (five years ago) link
My grandfather lost an eye after getting hit by a golf ball.
― tokyo rosemary, Monday, 15 October 2018 16:31 (five years ago) link
mini golf is fun, but actual golf seems impossible to play... like how tf are you gonna hit that bill so far into that little hole? Serious
― flappy bird, Monday, 15 October 2018 16:57 (five years ago) link
it's kinda like peeing into a urinal in a public restroom. you start from across the room, almost certainly missing big time, then make adjustments and get closer to the target as you go
― 1-800-CALL-ATT (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:00 (five years ago) link
this is how men pee is public restrooms when no one else is in the room, i'm convinced. it's like golf
flappy bird otm, have never understood this
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:01 (five years ago) link
it’s like how are you going to jump so high over the tall man and put the orange globe into the swisher
― omar little, Monday, 15 October 2018 17:05 (five years ago) link
most shows/movies are better than the book
― F# A# (∞), Sunday, October 14, 2018 6:55 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― change display name (Jordan), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:05 (five years ago) link
that's only a few feet, though. The hole is like half a mile away!
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:06 (five years ago) link
yea c'mon even a hail mary pass is plausible, i literally don't understand how golf works and how anyone that isn't tiger woods can get a hole in one
― flappy bird, Monday, 15 October 2018 17:08 (five years ago) link
golf but every green is a big funnel aiming for the hole would be cool imo
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:25 (five years ago) link
imagine that, but in a public restroom
https://i.imgur.com/slQ6PHq.jpg
― 1-800-CALL-ATT (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:29 (five years ago) link
I like the Ur-in-goals better.
― pomenitul, Monday, 15 October 2018 17:52 (five years ago) link
well, they were the originals
― 1-800-CALL-ATT (Karl Malone), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:53 (five years ago) link
― flappy bird, Monday, October 15, 2018 7:08 PM (forty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
a hole in one is the easiest aspect of golf to explain: it's luck. note also that it's usually not tiger woods making a hole in one, but players you otherwise don't hear about.
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 15 October 2018 17:57 (five years ago) link
To be more precise, getting the ball within 2 or 3 feet of the hole is skill. It's the remaining distance for the hole-in-one that is luck.
― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 15 October 2018 18:07 (five years ago) link
Anyway, controversial opinions. If that Trump painting was a 1000 piece puzzle I would buy it (and the Obama one).
― Ned Trifle X, Monday, 15 October 2018 19:09 (five years ago) link
Flappy, like baseball, it's flush contact of club to ball that drives the distance. Each club has a certain shaft length & stiffness and clubface angle & weight to return a certain yardage. Aim is a combination of body / hand positions, timing, tempo, concentration, etc. I saw a cartoon years ago that showed a man surrounded by a hundred thoughts during his swing. My swing thoughts are just down to keeping my head still during the swing (which should keep me centered and not rearing up and down) and my left arm straight through impact.
The hole-in-one comes from luck, as said, combined with the skill of knowing which club to use for what yardage and hitting that club precisely. Once you can dial in a distance, you can factor for wind, the shape of the green, how the ball will roll when it lands, and other variables that separate the amateurs from the pros.
Sure there are wankers (the trend of soundtracking your round with a loud radio = DUD), but it's a surprising equalizer, playing in leagues with people of all manner of jobs and educations.
― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Monday, 15 October 2018 20:11 (five years ago) link
golf is wonderful.
― Dmac TT (darraghmac), Monday, 15 October 2018 20:14 (five years ago) link
Insofar as I am required by my cultural entourage to mock golf and/or be indifferent to it, I should rebel and give it a fair shake. But this is one of those cases where the Latin hivemind is manifestly correct.
― pomenitul, Monday, 15 October 2018 20:26 (five years ago) link
Politicizing tragedies is good.
― The nexus of the crisis (Sund4r), Sunday, 21 October 2018 19:07 (five years ago) link
Spaceballs is funnier than Young Frankenstein
― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 21 October 2018 22:38 (five years ago) link
christ
― lie back and think of englund (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 October 2018 23:11 (five years ago) link
sb
― Dan I., Monday, 22 October 2018 02:07 (five years ago) link
The Big Sleep, Chinatown, and Blade Runner are all dull and overwrought films known for a couple of striking moments and otherwise completely forgettable.
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Monday, 22 October 2018 02:16 (five years ago) link
Chinatown in my memory: incomprehensible discussions of water usage in a palatial room--> "She's my daughter/my sister/my daughter and my sister"--> "Forget about it Jake it's Chinatown."Blade Runner in my memory: It's dark all the time and looks kind of Tokyo-ish-->tears in rain monologueBig Sleep in my memory: there's a bookstore and also a house and maybe some driving on windy roads and I may also have parts of Double Indemnity mixed in there
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Monday, 22 October 2018 02:19 (five years ago) link
You have a bad memory.
― ryan, Monday, 22 October 2018 02:22 (five years ago) link