US Politics December 2018: ~very legal and very cool~

god don jr is such a shithead

https://i.redd.it/3q2llsf9ev221.png

imagine donald trump being your father, AND you deeply crave his affection and approval, BUT the only way you know how to do this is recirculating dumb memes that attribute to him reagan-esque zingers utterly beyond his ability

wouldn't it be funny*

if the FBI tracked the TWC bomb threat to the white house. I mean our man gets so desperate he goes all fuck you i do it myself. I to don jr or somesuch. like some unforced error that's so basic that all the 3d russia chess stuff doesn't matter.

*it would not be funny (?)

There was a hilariously apolitical Comey mention in my most recent alumni magazine issue:

Khurram Mozaffer, AB '95, recently ran into former director of the FBI James Comey, JD '85, in New Jersey. They discussed life in Hyde Park and Spiro Fokas, AB '95. Both are writers: Khurram is toiling away in Hollywood and James was recently on a book tour for "A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership" (Flatiron Books, 2018)."

I thought that was cute.

wow are all the anecdotes that entertaining

I'm willing to bet money that Trump is the kind of guy that kicks dogs.

xpost Most are less entertaining.

There's another one about some other dude doing work for the FBI in Central Asia that ends with a long inexplicable digression about a former roommate of mine who apparently is a good overseas dinner companion.

xxp who was the last president before this to not have a pet in the WH?

I think Trump views the law the same way an NFL player views the referees, in his mind he's never *really* breaking the law, or maybe he kinda is but not as much as those other guys and I cannot believe you actually call that holding, these refs were obviously paid off blah blah blah, also the worst thing that could happen is a 15 yard penalty, there have never been any *real* consequences in the life of Donald Trump. if Junior gets indicted that might actually be uncharted territory for him. not that he cares much about Jr., but even he's got to know that having the son you named after yourself get indicted for helping your campaign is a pretty bad look and not something you can just easily wriggle out of

Trump is a known dog hater. He often insults people by saying they are “like a dog.” Just another reason I hate him. xp

Maybe the implication is "they taste like a dog." Because you know Trump eats pets, and possibly people, too. Definitely children.

Or maybe he's secretly Muslim.

Iirc He wasn't happy with the decision to name Don Jr. after himself. Trump plays the longtime, and giving a kid your name negates plausible deniability. Trump knew he was stuck with this loser forever.

"According to his first wife, Ivana, Donald Trump was never keen on bequeathing his name to anybody," Julia Ioffe wrote in GQ. "It was Ivana who wanted to call their newborn Donald junior. 'You can't do that!' Trump is quoted as saying in Ivana's memoir, 'Raising Trump.' 'What if he's a loser?'"

Even Trump is sometimes right.

imagine donald trump being your father, AND you deeply crave his affection and approval, BUT the only way you know how to do this is recirculating dumb memes that attribute to him reagan-esque zingers utterly beyond his ability

― |Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Friday, December 7, 2018 9:15 AM (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If at least 3/5 of them weren't ambulatory shitpeople, I would feel almost unfathomable pity for the fruit of Donald Trump's loins.

wait who’s the fifth

Imagine what we could have been spared if Eric and Don Jr. had Menendez-ed that fuck.

XP Tiffany

I told my boss yesterday that I doubt even his children in legal jeopardy would inspire anything but a dismissive tweet: "Don Jr, who eye love, is innocent!! I wish him nothing but good luck!"

https://frinkiac.com/meme/S03E03/580394.jpg?b64lines=CiBEYWQsIGRvIHlvdSBrbm93IHdoYXQKICJTY2hhZGVuZnJldWRlIiBpcz8g

Manafort lying, Mueller charging, Kelly leaving, Comey testifying, Cohen pleading, Flynn cooperating, Giuliani talking, Putin smiling, tariffs hurting, deficits growing, economy slowing, and Trump whining about it all...

And Republicans wonder why they're in deep shit.

— Joe Walsh (@WalshFreedom) December 7, 2018

'don jr, who i barely know and worked very little on my campaign' shurely xp

joe walsh's rewrite of 'we didn't start the fire' fucking sucks

alfred, that is shockingly charitable. i would expect rather "Low-level 'Donald,' who I never liked and who many people think looks nothing like me, is being set up by the witch Hunt! More jail for Democrats who know there was no collusion for me, but waste big $$$ chasing LOSER SONS! A hoax!"

xpost to bg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

it's just that GRU that's got trump in its sway

Cackling supervillain: Mr. Trump, you must now make an impossible choice. You can either kill your eldest son, or...
(Trump shoots Donald Jr. in the face without hesitation)

montgomery "monty" brogan >>>>>>> donald trumplethinskin

Cackling supervillain: Mr. Trump, you must now make an impossible choice. You can either kill your eldest son, or...
(Trump shoots Donald Jr. in the face without hesitation shoots hand holding phone + KFC chicken thigh)

lol JiC otm

partying partying yeah

I'd figure with this arrest in Vancouver, there could be some Apple execs in China looking over their shoulder a bit more than usual.

but even he's got to know that having the son you named after yourself get indicted for helping your campaign is a pretty bad look and not something you can just easily wriggle out of

― frogbs, Friday, December 7, 2018 10:24 AM (twenty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No problem, just proportionately increase output of angry ranting spittle soaked tweets. It's how he's wriggled in the past; it's all he knows how to do.

rudy's been a good boy and has been allowed access to the crayon drawer again, i see

It has been incorrectly reported that Rudy Giuliani and others will not be doing a counter to the Mueller Report. That is Fake News. Already 87 pages done, but obviously cannot complete until we see the final Witch Hunt Report.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 7, 2018

already 87 pages done

where's the tax returns?

good morning!

for the first time i'm impatient for the mueller report to be released just so we can see the trump team's exquisitely-argued rejoinder

"no collusion! no collusion!" for 88 pages

It's literally just 87 pages of tweet printouts.

ALL WOR K ANDNO PLAY MAKEs AMERICA A DULL COUNTRY . MAGA

just a phonebook-sized document full of jackie treehorn doodles

(Careful, even oblique references to wiener doodles could get u excommunicated from thraed.)

no i mean tasteful pencil renderings of my father ben gazzara in character as jackie treehorn

i know hillary's guilty but what am i?

a tax return!

isn't The Witch Hunt Report a Judy Blume book?

from the author of bunnicula and howliday inn

the first sentence was "The president's income tax returns were too complex for Americans to understand, alas" iirc

the first sentence was "The president's income tax returns were too complex for Americans to understand, alas SAD!" iirc

― reggie (qualmsley), Friday, December 7, 2018 11:20 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink