ILE Weight Watchaz

Nobody criticized you jfc. Trying to live a healthier lifestyle is wonderful but dieting is probably one of the main reasons behind your binging on sugar. The restrict/binge cycle is really really hard to break. I say this a a former anorexic and someone who has suffered from disordered eating (including binge eating) for decades - dieting the way that we know it is not healthy and sets people up to fail. Have you heard of intuitive eating? I highly recommend looking into it. Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch is wonderful as is Just Eat it by Laura Thomas.

some ppl need to learn how/get permission to relax their relationship with food in order to eat healthily, others need more structure to help them feel in control, this isn't hard

I'm supping a bulmers in a pizza restaurant today with a plate of chicken wings for starters. Safe to say the diet is well and truly fucked. But it does feel good.

x-post - Actually, it is pretty hard and complicated because we've been fed mixed messages for years by the media and psuedo nutritionists etc. Also, most adults have been so fucked by years of dieting that they know longer know how to listen to their hunger cues and feed themselves properly so it's actually far from simple at all.

I'd like to go on regret as being filled with regret for actually using actually in the above post.

Also I should have said many rather than most. Ugh.

it's not eating healthily that's easy but recognising that ppl have different & conflicting needs in sorting out their relationship with food. nothing works for everyone

I have a friend who says quitting soda was harder than quitting smoking, which I guess puts things into perspective

my spouse and i enrolled in one of those pre-diabetic programs last year. it was hard, mostly because i did not get on at all with certain other people in my group, but it did work very well for both of us; we lost tons. now that the group's over the challenge is to maintain. we're not "dieting" per se but i make the effort to snack less, try to keep track of what i'm eating, weigh myself every week. the hard part is to not spiral when i'm up. everybody goes up every now and again and everybody feels terrible about it, so terrible that the temptation is strong to give up because if one is going to put this much work into it and get nothing why bother? working on my depression has intersected pretty well with work on weight loss, in terms of allowing myself to "fail" and accept the consequences without judging myself for it. not a surprise given my tendency to stress eat, really!

I assume people are being responsible that for example, if they say they are doing 1400 calories a day that is filled with all veggies/unprocessed foods, whole grains, scant oil (not my flippant bottle of wine as 1/2 of your allocation). I think food is highly personal as evidenced in these threads and that article but everyone has a different tolerance to certain changes, different motivations, different goals. I don't think it has to be one thing all the time too since.

Thanks for the book suggestions, ENBB - I've been meaning to ask on here if anyone can recommend any good books/websites/advice for a healthier psychological approach to eating.

Anyone else have any suggestions while I'm here? Thanks!

(I liked and still like that article, as I do think it's a useful counter to the ideas that 1. losing weight is a simple, purely thermodynamic equation and 2. anyone who isn't doing it is lazy and too stupid to understand and making them more ashamed will help, because 1. nope and 2. thanks for your ideas which we have heard weekly if not daily all our lives, but most of us are already pretty fucking ashamed and shame is so, so counterproductive - but obviously if it makes anyone feel like there's no point in trying then that's a bad thing too.

Congrats to anyone having success via whatever methods, commiserations to those who aren't, and please be kind to your mind as well as your body either way. Love, one platitudinous fatty)

in short peace man, nobody has any issue with your goals or yr methods and keep on keepin on imo

weight is funny and personal and idk dudes arent v encouraged to talk about struggles with it or dieting or whatever so id ask you to kiu itt regardless of what reaction might be from anyone who has their own issues and probs in this area- hopefully thats an uncontroversial sentiment

xp hi aps, good post

xp Argh, by "anyone ~else~" I mean "anyone have ~any more~ suggestions" as I totally do not want to exclude ENBB from offering any more tips! Thanks, sorry, etc

hi deems!

APS - The Fuck It Diet by Caroline Dooner.

mrs mac's credentials as an ilxor wont be boosted by her having enjoyed and rather successfully used "french women dont get fat" as a template/guide but it has def helped her lessen a constantly watchful attitude towards all food and tbh i think she mainly just wanted to imagine life as a french literature graduate champagne executive married to a rich guy

nb I realise she wasnt a great ilxor candidate on other more obvious fronts ie consorting with known terrorists

I know for me food has been a very precarious issue: having had boulemia in my 20s, it was and still is very conflicted. But I don't have an emotional bond w food anymore. But I know it'll always be a struggle anyway. Just not a control issue anymore. Because I solved what the root of it was (mommy issues lol).

And it feels awkward to say it. I even felt a failure having boulemia. But fuck it. There should be no shame in it.

Having had.

Trying to live a healthier lifestyle is wonderful but dieting is probably one of the main reasons behind your binging on sugar.

Except that before I quit, there was no restriction. There's no cycle of dieting to speak of. I think I tried quitting sugar once before as a new years thing that was destined to fail anyway. I grew up just absolutely hoovering desserts. It didn't matter to me as a young man - I was rail thin until it started catching up with me in my mid-twenties and after that I certainly didn't stop eating things I liked.

While I've been attempting to eat more nutritiously in other ways over many years, I don't view my journey as "dieting" so much as quitting a drug. Which I've successfully done before with alcohol and tobacco. I didn't get sucked back in this time because the urge to eat sugar was just so overwhelming to me after being deprived of it. I was at total peace with myself for a long time.

But I kept ending up being peer pressured to eat sweets in social situations. Mother-in-law: "C'mon peace, you're not going to have a slice of my apple pie?" "I will graciously eat a slice of pie, mother-in-law, if it means so much to you..." etc. I thought I could handle returning for an occasional nibble, but the holiday cascade of situations like this ultimately led to recklessness and overconfidence. I mean, what would happen if I took the same approach to alcohol? I would be back to daily liquor store visits in no time!

Anyway, thanks for the advice all, and ogmar on the money.

prob maybe need to start a men-only weight thread idk? the issues seem to be insurmountably different and good ppl are getting upset over it.

prob maybe need to start a men-only weight thread idk? the issues seem to be insurmountably different and good ppl are getting upset over it.

― deemsthelarker (darraghmac)

the bullshit men are told about their bodies and the bullshit women are told about their bodies are categorically different varieties of bullshit, yeah. and as a non-binary person i get to deal with both kinds. lucky me!

i'm not sure the differences are "insurmountable". also as a non-binary person having a "men's" and a "women's" weight loss thread would reinforce once again what a misfit i am, but i guess i'm used to that.

Not sure there’s such a clear gender divide. As a male with food issues, something Caitlin Moran wrote about binge eaters really resonated with me when I read it:

Overeating is the addiction of choice of "carers," and that's why it's come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. It's a way of screwing yourself up while still remaining fully functional, because you have to. Fat people aren't indulging in the "luxury" of their addiction, making them useless, chaotic or a burden. Instead, they are slowly self-destructing in a way that doesn't inconvenience anyone. And that is why it's so often a woman's addiction of choice.

Interesting perspective about the carers. But I don't get why that necessarily makes it a 'woman's addiction of choice'. I mean, dudes who don't remain fully functional aren't going to be much good in their stereotypical roles either.

in 80% of OA meetings i've been to i've been the only guy there. just saying.

Good to have that perspective. Possibly a lot of dudes just never choose to do address it? Out of pure curosity, I googled up OA meetings local to me and the closest one is held in a health care center located on - I kid you not - Milkshake Lane.

fwiw OA isn't for "fat people" per se, it attracts a lot of people with disordered eating. incl. women who have been surrounded by toxic sexist bullshit about weight their whole lives.

i got criticized for my weight & appearance a lot as a young kid & it sure did fuck me up, but it's pretty clear to me that as a man i have a lot more wiggle room in life & my issues w/food would be exacerbated considerably if i had to put up with the social messaging that women do

hmmm there might be something to the "carers" quote there

ok maybe not a gender specific thread just a thread where ppl are allowed to quit sugar without the yknow

Good god that carers definition in relation to binging: so me. :-( I am better at it but even at work I have been told I erase myself and comply too much. :-(