Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I feel like my general expectation of coworkers (possess a basic understanding of your responsibilities and the tools you need to do your job and then just actually, like, do your job) is such a ridiculously low bar that most people would be likely to clear it almost by accident. And yet. And yet.

lol Yerac

xp I'm in the same boat - I don't expect people to be able to do everything, I'm happy to pick up all the complicated things, but to have to do all the complicated things *and* help idiots do ridiculously basic tasks all the fucking time as well is just too much sometimes

I suggested to management I sit with him and do pair programming or give him training courses to work through but they shot it down saying it would take up too much time, never mind that my time is constantly wasted and interrupted, but unfortunately complete inability to do your job is also a problem with management at this godforsaken company of morons

I feel like my general expectation of coworkers (possess a basic understanding of your responsibilities and the tools you need to do your job and then just actually, like, do your job) is such a ridiculously low bar that most people would be likely to clear it almost by accident. And yet. And yet.

unbelievably, all of the programmers I work with (10 ppl) are competent engineers and communicators. Everybody just ... does their work. Bumps in the road are handled in level-headed and efficient meetings. I really lucked out, I am so grateful to work with these people. now clients, on the other hand...

I like dealing with just programmers. I hate managing or clients or the general employee population so I once had a job create me a role where I just dealt with programmers. It was awesome.

it would take up too much time

more than nearly any other factor, I'm incredibly grateful whenever I'm working with people that understand investing a reasonable amount of time in something now will result in fewer headaches... from now until infinity

Y'all extolling the virtues of programmers clearly don't work for my company. Just reminded today that some supergenius has recently set up an autoreplace in the primary piece of (proprietary, and it shows) software we use such that every typed apostrophe is swapped out with a grave accent, thus rendering our already unwieldy and damn near inoperable search function even moreso (ie every search for let's say 'Joe's Diner' turns up zero results even if there were a hundred instances of 'Joe's Diner' entered into our database).

Oh, they jack up stuff all the time but they are easier to deal with on a day to day basis. Maybe because all the programmers I have ever had to deal with were in the UK or Budapest.

Yeah, generally and in other workplaces I agree with that more sanguine assessment. The magnitude of the jacking up here (see f'rinstance: hours-long mid-day outages on a regular basis, wherein hundreds of people are left twiddling their collective thumbs while collecting a paycheck) would be a fireable offense pretty much anywhere else I'd worked.

I worked in a company of thousands that wouldn't be able to execute trades because of some issue. No one would be fired.

The bar is always a lot lower than you would think.

I have a coworker who started here within the past year after previously working on software for high frequency trading. There are some stories, although most of them involve clients who insisted they wanted software that did specific things, despite being told they were bad ideas. I think at least one of these ideas got trading suspended in a major exchange until the program was turned off.

high frequency trading markets are a bad idea

>at least one of these ideas got trading suspended in a major exchange until the program was turned off.

i know nothing about the world of finance and markets etc – but i feel like this would be a huge deal.

you would be surprised!
https://www.sec.gov/litigation/suspensions.shtml

wait, I take that back -- it was likely a trading halt, which is different and even more common

My colleague was reprimanded by HR for ignoring the rules: she always takes days off on weekends (busiest days). Lol. I laugh but it results in more work for me. Grrrr.

coffee in one hand, suddenly remember that you need your pass to get through the security gates and start scrabbling for it in your pocket with your free hand. maybe don't do this whilst INSIDE the revolving doors.

an incident has erupted after someone wrote a page on the work wiki which says at the top "THIS IS A DRAFT - PLEASE ADD COMMENTS, CORRECTIONS, ETC." and someone edited it

oh no, now page editor #2 has left the room and everyone else is being asked for opinions i.e. to take sides

you did the right thing in going online

I was just enjoying the swing from "please edit this page" to "how dare anyone edit this page"

a distraction has been found in the form of something else to get wound up about, fortunately (?)

what to get for lunch?

A new contender emerges.

Taking a full mug of tea/coffee/hot beverage into the toilet cubicle with you to drink during your morning dump.

(These are the worst office toilets I've ever come across mind, one day the whole room was painted in watery hangover vomit and another the toilet seat was covered in what I can only assume was the remains of someone shaving their pubic hair off. Last week someone did the world's longest toothbrushing, all the time standing over a urinal.)

oh no

Oh yes. They were a slurper.

deeply upsetting post

They also did the "... ah!" after every slurp.

please stop

That's what I was thinking at the time.

A puddle of urine slowly accumulates on the floor in front of the urinals in my office. Every. Single. Day.

Workplace restrooms are perhaps the strongest refutation of mankind as a civilized species.

[reels from thread with eyes streaming, staggers blindly away, careening from the walls]

Maybe they are still under the impression that urine helps in case of jellyfish stings.

Oh yes. They were a slurper.

i was relieved this was in reference to the coffee drinker.

i hope to god that was in reference to the coffee drinker.

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch) at 7:55 20 Jun 19


Workplace restrooms are perhaps the strongest refutation of mankind as a civilized species.

there's one dude in my work who does that. does make more than me, also from money

it's an alpha move, guys

i do wash my hands but i balance it out by wiping my ass on the door handles

well you must be
an acrobat
to talk like this
and act like that

Is this a guy thing? Ive rarely seen ladies toilets in the disgusting savage state you guys describe here, but even at my work, twice emails have had to go out chiding the males in the office because of the state of the toilets (someone did the puke-painting here, too, apparently. Prob after a heavy work drinks session).

Is this a guy thing?

it is maybe THE guy thing of guy things. Nearly all public men’s restrooms are covered with piss, it’s fucking insane.

In 2016 I was about a week into a new job with approx 3/20 male/female ratio in that department, when they had to call an all-female conference for the floor to explain to staff that the daily state of the ladies' loos was a health hazard

Nearly all public men’s restrooms are covered with piss, it’s fucking insane.

public bathrooms yes, though. on many occasions I have spent longer wiping down enough surfaces in a pub or nightclub cubicle to use it than I have spent using it

used to work at a place where the wall above the urinal was covered in a crust of picked boogers that was never cleaned up, all i assume from the same guy (i didn't test the evidence). i never talked to anyone about it because i had no idea who it could have been. there were a lot of prime suspects.

having worked for years in a bookstore with a public bathroom i can assure you that both men and women are absolute fucking savages

piss splatter is a guy thing, yes, but smearing shit on the walls is surprisingly universal

pretty sure that whoever stashed turds behind books in the children's section was a guy tho

Oh boy, public restrooms! That's where I'm a diseased animal!

Women's bathrooms can be worse because they tend to hover rather than sit down to pee, and that makes it as bad as the men's.

yes, but men tend to get distracted and walk around the room checking their email, peeing everywhere

And every men's toilets has a door that opens inwards, so you have to touch the filthy handle which every disgusting savage who hasn't washed their hands has already fondled. At least if there are paper towels you can use them for a prophylactic layer.