the boris project: slouching blond beast who can or shrunken cowardly lump who was never going to

sounds like Gove got to her first

Tory remedy for a red wine stain: take a glass of club soda and beat your mistress

— Crowsa Luxemburg (@quendergeer) June 22, 2019

"I can’t think of anyone after the Crash in 2008 who stuck up as much for the bankers as me. I stuck up for them day in and day out." - Boris at the hustings earlier, I know he's just talking the dead-eyed membership, but gl running into a GE on with this type of speak - which didn't sound very prepared.

"I can’t think of anyone after the Crash in 2008 who stuck up as much for the bankers as me. I stuck up for them day in and day out." - Boris Johnson today

Says it all.

— Labour Press Team (@labourpress) June 22, 2019

get this on a big vote labour poster

https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jun/24/boris-johnson-prime-minister-tory-party-britain

Churchill’s self-obsession was tempered by a huge compassion for humanity, or at least white humanity, which Johnson confines to himself.

Blinding double zing from Max Hastings

he's such a silly old cunt and a complete waste of space as a historian.

Who, Hastings, Churchill or Johnson?

Hastings, but that it isn't bad for him!

Stopped clock dude, stopped clock.

Just chucking the link to the classic Eddie Mair interview in here for anyone who hasn’t seen it
https://youtu.be/ZAxA-9D4X3o

woke max hastings, welcome to the #resistance

FULL TRANSCRIPT - Boris

- Refuses 4 times to say where 'staged' photo came from
- Refuses 5 times to say if he knew it was being put out
- Refuses 3 times to say when it was takenhttps://t.co/QXjcHMK5OQ

— Dan Bloom (@danbloom1) June 25, 2019

lol @ Max Hastings coming out with Boris as disaster and yet enabling his career at The Telegraph - a paper where he could now not be allowed to publish this piece. 'Sleepwalker' applies to him as much as anyone in his elite rank.

the absolute state of this cunt

NICK FERRARI: [If you're concerned for your privacy,] why the picture today?

BORIS JOHNSON: Newspapers will print whatever they're going to print

NF: Where it come from?

BJ: What I want to do is talk -

NF: Boris Johnson, where did the picture come from?

BJ: The longer we spend on issues -

NF: We'll come to that, don't worry. We've got 20 minutes to do this. Where did the picture come from?

BJ: The longer we spend on things extraneous -

NF: Did you know of its publication?

BJ: The longer we spend on things extraneous to what I want to do -

NF: Is it actually you, or is it Ed Sheeran?

BJ: [Laughs] The bigger the waste of time -

NF: Where has the picture come from?

BJ: Look, I'm not going to ask the -

NF: Are you happy with it on the majority of the front pages?

BJ: Actually as I've been saying... I haven't seen the majority of the front pages

NF: Well I'm showing it to you now. Are you happy with that?

BJ: I think the longer we spend - I can't determine what the newspapers decide to -

NF: But you knew the picture was being put out there?

BJ: I can't determine what the newspapers -

NF: Did you know the picture was being put out there, Mr Johnson?

BJ: There are all sorts of pictures of me out on the internet, which, er, pop up from time to time -

NF: Did you know this picture was being put out?

BJ: I am aware of alls sorts of pictures of me out on the internet. And it is entirely up to newspapers to decide what they want to print. But the longer we spend on this -

NF: Did you know this picture was out there?

BJ: Of course I knew that there was a picture like that in existence, whether it was the decision of the, er -

NF: When was it taken?

BJ: I don't want to go into...

NF: So that's a state secret, when the picture was taken? When was it taken?

BJ: It's not a state secret. It just happens to be something I don't want to get into.

NF: You won't even tell me when the picture was taken?

BJ: No! Why should I?

NF: Because it's not recent, is it? Your hair in this photograph is not your hair currently, is it?

BJ: If I may say so this conversation is now descending into farce...

NF: This is quite an old picture isn't it?

BJ: I'm not going to comment on -

NF: It's before the haircut you had from the Turkish chap

BJ: No you're wrong about that, I no longer have my hair cut by the Turkish chap, I have my hair cut by a very nice person called Kelly or possibly Tamara

NF: When did you last have your hair cut?

BJ: You'd have to ask Kelly or Tamara, it was quite recently actually. Anyway... this is beyond satire... I am not going to comment on the antiquity of provenance of some photo that the newspapers decide to put on their front pages. This is about a far more important agenda.

BJ: … Anyway... this is beyond satire...

Hmmm…

Read a tweet that says Johnson is "a consequence of postmodernism" and I really want to fucking die now.

Pre-pomo politicians were blissfully unaware of the theatrical sophistry their trade requires.

Also: BoJo confirmed cultural Marxist.

There's a straight line from Lenin to Adorno to Derrida to Johnson (only non-Philistines will get this).

lol, you are going to have to do a lot more work than you are atm on this. Thorwing names and hoping they stick is just lazy.

What?

Were your posts a joke?

lol it's sad that you have to ask.

jesus stand down, julio, you're not the only person on the internet who deploys irony

How do you know my questions to pom were not irony?

posting normally humidly

Out-danking pomo memes.

BJ: … Anyway... this is beyond satire...

― pomenitul, Tuesday, 25 June 2019 10:34 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

most things don't need satires -- most things are bad enough!
- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Wednesday, 25 July 2018

Kelly or possibly Tamara

It's a good job for Boris the membership of the Tory Party is 90% undead cryptofascists because his blithering incompetence at campaigning would shame Theresa May.

standard casual dehumanisation of the lower orders in pretending not to rememember their names

Of course.

i'm sure it'll pale next to his blithering incompetence at doing the job of prime minister

my seven year old insists on calling boris "joris bonson"

He might not get to do that for very long if he can't carry Parliament.

This level of evasiveness would be a terrible look in an election campaign because all it does is create space for rivals parties to set out their stalls. It didn't work for May in 2017 and it definitely won't work now that the field is more crowded. It'll work this time because no one who matters cares about Jeremy Hunt.

(xpost there's almost certainly a DJ called Joris Bonson)

https://soundcloud.com/mc-loud-3

BJ has appointed IDS his campaign lead

the quiet man is back

IDS knows a thing or two about being a successful leader of the Tory party. Boris can rest easy at last.

if only I could find that online txt file of the IDS spy-thriller novel again. it was an absolute peach.

the architect of universal credit takes on another huge project destined for similar success, jeremy cunt must be shitting it

jeremy cunt must be shitting it

Jeremy Cloaca

I might still have the IDS book saved somewhere, i'll check the computer later

https://bookos-z1.org/book/1503308/5f367d

you can get it here as a txt file!

Found it

She looks in the mirror and stares at the wrinkles
That weren't there yesterday
And thinks of the young man that she almost married
What would he think if he saw her this way?
She picks up her apron in little girl-fashion
As something comes into her mind
Slowly starts dancing remembering her girlhood
And all of the boys she had waiting in line
Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday housewife
You see everywhere any time of the day
An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me
The photograph album she takes from the closet
And slowly turns the page
And carefully picks up the crumbling flower
The first one he gave her now withered with age
She closes her eyes and
Touches the house dress that suddenly disappears
And just for the moment she's wearing the gown
That broke all their minds back so many years
Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday housewife
You see everywhere any time of the day
An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me
Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday housewife
You see everywhere any time of the day
An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me
Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday housewife
You see everywhere any time of the day

John Grande, art dealer, lover, international man of mystery, tough bastard. possibly a character based on a composite of himself and boris

"Yeah," Laura Buckley replied. She continued to watch John as he
climbed up the track, "You know, Alice, he looks kind of sad, don't you
think?"

"I don't know about that; he's good-looking anyway." Alice van Buren
laughed, then laid her towel out. "Even if he was a bit skinny." She
took a magazine out from her bag and put on her dark glasses and lay
down.

Laura continued watching John as he walked up the path and over the
ridge. "A sad-looking guy .. ." she muttered, her voice trailing away
as she sat down.

the ladies love a complex character...

idsky idsky him sad

Beautiful.

Am I dreaming it or did Boris write a novel too. Two great literary titans together at last

do not want

Seventy Two Virgins
by Boris Johnson
HarperCollins £17.99, pp336

A gang of comedy terrorists penetrates the heart of Parliament. A Tory MP's researcher is to blame for the worst security breach in centuries. Ministers look on aghast as Westminster is defended by grand old men in silk stockings, breeches and ceremonial swords.

The determination of our times to trump the best fiction can conjure was illustrated again last month when protesters burst into the House of Commons, comprehensively scooping the plot of Boris Johnson's novel, Seventy Two Virgins, for sheer effrontery and farce.

The author imagines a group of Islamic militants pulling off an equivalent coup de theatre in the adjacent Westminster Hall, just as the US President is delivering a tiresome speech. A bicycling Tory MP whose buffoonery masks acute intelligence and a classical education - he might sound familiar to some readers - is the last, unlikely hope of the free world. One should not spoil the ending but you might just be able to guess.