I dare you to anticipate Joaquin Phoenix in Todd Phillips's JOKER (now with something that may or may not be a SPOILER)

Waiting for the surprise Beyonce soundtrack drop.

Hub thing, looking for big fun

I would have much less of a problem if Phoenix's "Joker" was a copycat who used the actual Joker as a conduit for his psychosis.

The first hour and a half depict a sullen and resentful comedian becoming increasingly obsessed with the real Joker. He learns everything he can, starts a youtube channel, starts to mimic his voice and mannerisms, has his channel demonetized, then goes on stage and delivers a Louis CK set as the Joker. Instead of Robert De Niro as Murray Franklin, it's Joe Rogan as Joe Rogan. After appearing on Joe Rogan our comedian decides that he is the Joker and that he's going to turn everyone in Gotham City into little Jokers. Then in the last ten minutes, while out clowning around he encounters the real Joker who kills him and walks away laughing. THE END. Think Single White Female but with more Jokers and no women.

might want to spoiler that eh

That is unironically a much-better sounding synopsis than the actual movie

A loser that posts to 4chan and lives with a random old lady he calls mother puts on makeup and starts stabbing people.

Runs for office one year later

have we been the victims of a crul joaq

lol

My brain just conjured an image of Phoenix in full I'm Still Here mode taking a page from Cesar Romero and slathering his Joker makeup on over a massive beard and heck maybe just right atop that pair of shades as well and now I'm having a very difficult time stifling my laughter rn.

might want to spoiler that eh

― theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), 12. september 2019 16:19 (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Yeah, but it's already finished :(

first half hour, joaquin phoenix is john ochre, a frustrated borderline case trying to get a career off the ground as a makeup artist

as he suffers rejection after rejection at his department store stand, he gradually applies more and more greasepaint to stand out more from the other sellers (highlight of this act, a melancholy "my time of day" type musical number as he waltzes from one area of the store to the next after closing time with a mannequin who will be heavily featured in planned sequels)

second hour, heavily improvised joaquin discussion piece about idk patch-testing, the importance of a proper cleansing routine and moisturiser with the correct spf for you, nightmarish late-night tv shop footage aesthetic as the desperation pf our hero-anti-hero grows, act to close with a violent sequence of our hero horribly mauled in black friday crowds of dorises and mabels

third act is a metamorphosis reveal, our jochre, scarred inside and out by LATE CAPITALISM nurses a deep hatred of otherwsise nice old ladies who ignore queueing etiquette and hatches plans to blow up a bingo hall

Joaquin Phoenix as the failed mime who bungles his chance to perform a 75 hour-long performance piece, The Joker, at PS1. As the movie ends he's sitting on a rock in Central Park with his hand in his pants swigging from a paper bag while the theme from Arthur plays in the background.

an empty paper bag, that drifts away as we follow it into the night sky......until it takes the shape of

a joke

can't wait for the climactic scene where Phoenix stares into the camera and says "Joker? I hardly even know 'er! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

can't wait for the other climactic scene when we finally discover what "the pompatus of love" means

its a wiener iirc

There's an embargo in effect, but I hear this is about a guy that snaps and goes on a spree of knocking on doors then running away.

disgusting

can't wait for the climactic scene where Phoenix stares into the camera and says "Joker? I hardly even know 'er! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

― brigadier pudding (DJP), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:00 (eleven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

idk i just can't see phoenix having the chops for this tbh

This is two hours on the nose which is too bad, if it were longer I would’ve had a reason to decide not to see it after all

Our hero (played by Joaquin Phoenix) is an obscure failed comedian who now hosts a podcast interviewing other comedians. As his resentment about his career grows, he becomes obsessed with getting cast in a rumored upcoming Joker film being made by Todd Phillips. When he discovers that famous Hollywood actor Joaquin Phoenix has gotten the role instead of him, he lures Joaquin (played by Marc Maron) to his home under the pretense of doing a podcast interview and murders him. Our hero shows up to the Joker film set on the first day of shooting in full costume and makeup as Joaquin-as-the-Joker, convinces everyone that he is Joaquin 'getting really Method' and makes the film, fooling everyone and delivering a genius performance that takes film acting to new heights of artistry. The film gets finished, goes to Venice and wins the Golden Lion. When our hero is onstage with Todd Phillips accepting the award, GG Allin and a crew of frat guys burst into the hall and kill everyone with flamethrowers.

Mentored by a circus vet (Wallace Shawn)...

My Dinner With The Joker — "But, Wally, don't you see that comfort can be dangerous? I mean, you like to be comfortable and I like to be comfortable too, but comfort can lull you into a dangerous tranquility!"

yes OEO, yes

Wait wait wait, can anyone confirm that when Joaquin is beaten in this movie he is beaten with a BAT? Because do u see? The seeds of animosity, they are planted.

Is Jason Bateman in this? Because ...

His girlfriend Laura is beaten with a bat. Minutes later he sees a picture of her and Christopher Cross's "Think of Laura" plays

Then everyone in town is killed

Showdown in the Louisville Slugger museum.

end credits: "Killing in the Name of" over a burning american flag

citizen kane but with bats intead of newspapers and jokes instead of silent resentments

Removing bookmark from this thread until I see this masterpiece

You mean Batsterpiece

flappy bird leaves thread

flappy bat appears moments later, posts about bats, leaves with dramatic flourish

flappy bird enters thread all oh whattidi miss guys

lol this is getting a 70mm release

I'm sure Joker fanboys are all gonna 70mm release in their seats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlCF7XJxlpE

^kind of how i envision "joker fans"

they should screen it in 10cc

Is it really such a crime
For a guy to spend his time
At the local dance at Arkham Asylum?

Dorm room poster ass marathon. https://t.co/LSqhmRjLXa

— 🎃🍂Gourd Man Gets Paid🍂🎃 (@c0mmunicants) September 12, 2019

going to cringingly admit I had a clockwork orange poster my first semester of college

tick.jfa

Such equivocation in the age of Trump is frankly moral cowardice, and I'd honestly have more respect for Joker if it were wholeheartedly the fascist daydream some are dreading. The guy who should've directed this is S. Craig Zahler.

― Simon H., Thursday, April 4, 2019 12:27 AM (five months ago)

although the offscreen nature of this relationship (most of Beetz's role has been obviously and unforgivably left on the cutting-room floor)

lol i somehow didn't have a clockwork orange poster, I did have a t-shirt tho. Strange to say, I wasn't as keen on real life violent street gangs

ME: "Welly well well, if it isn't the vonny bastard himself old billyboy and his droogs, prepare for a razdrazzing if any yarbles thou hast"

blank eyed guy in reebok classics: [chins me]

ME: [Crumples in to foetal position, whimpers]

It's douchey connotations aside, the clockwork orange poster is some pretty A+ graphic design IMO

lol Bananaman

Edelstein's review has some mild spoilers but is good and thorough.

hence the gimmick casting of De Niro, who doesn’t seem like a natural talk-show host

LOL, understatement of the year