US Politics, October 2019 — I guess statement you could say with thread. I made a thread. The thread was PERFECT.

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/10/inspector-general-fisa-report-carter-page-russia-investigation.html

Essentially the new yorker’s borowitz report has gotten so unfunny that the GOP is holding the democratic party criminally liable for it.

It’s horrible, hence “horowitz”

Neanderthal, I think you misspelled "Lamar!"

Lol nobody's going to jail

It'll be a boring procedural doc that Republicans try to spin as a game changer until Trump tries to fuck a penguin on live TV

LOL obviously no one is going to jail, I told my mom she was dreaming out loud.

Trump is going to jail

nah

lol

The look between McConnell and Schumer when the brother doesn’t shake Mitch’s hand 💀💀💀👀 pic.twitter.com/UbRXLhtW36

— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) October 24, 2019

https://t.co/Nl0nbp5uZc via @NYTimes

— Maggie Haberman (@maggieNYT) October 25, 2019

Greeeeeat, this will be fun. “Both sides” until 2020 and beyond

Ehh it was inevitable. The more they keep making "obvious" political moves, w/e. They have zero aces in the hole

Non-snarky "ehh" there!

This is now looking a lot more likely, only it could include indictments, perfectly timed to undercut the impeachment push: https://t.co/LLZvjOY2pI

— Greg Sargent (@ThePlumLineGS) October 25, 2019

It'll be a boring procedural doc that Republicans try to spin as a game changer until Trump tries to fuck a penguin on live TV

Followed the next day by the Wall Street Journal editorial page explaining that, while actually fucking the penguin would certainly have meant Trump was unfit to office, his inability to maintain an erection and penetrate the penguin meant that this was just a partisan Democratic prosecution for impotence, which who among us has not experienced

seems like the justice department has gone completely off the rails:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/24/us/politics/john-durham-criminal-investigation.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

sorry, posted without refreshing and didn't see the previous posts

I can’t believe Michelle Obama and George Clooney framed Putin, not cool

Hope they get what’s coming to them

No Rest 'Til Everyone In The Country Is In Jail!

I don't see as much of it anymore, but it seemed like 70% of hardcore Conservative Fake News Click Bait was headlined "Trey Gowdy/GOP Stooge of yr choice Delivers (The thing) That Will Send Obama/Clinton/Biden/Warren TO JAIL FOR LIFE!"

It has bubbled up into the actual DOJ

awesome country

Hate us

Eh. I might be wrong, but the White House and Justice Department, unlike at a comparable point in the Mueller investigations, has been consistently behind the headlines. Barr could issue an obfuscatory "memo" last spring; it's hard for a similar bullshit memo to change The Narrative when the public already has nine-tenths of the incriminating evidence.

*have been

cable news experts: “I know John Durham, I’ve worked with him, John Durham is completely apolitical and has tremendous integrity". gtfo

I'm sympathetic to a broader argument that a lot of this (including Graham's posturing this week) is theater more for Trump's benefit than anything else.

Yup

Theater for Trump, yes, but also for his zombie army.

Yeah but to make myself clearer -- Graham, even Barr, are probably operating on a 'if we do this much maybe he'll leave us alone for Christ's sake.' That pose of those dudes sitting next to Trump in that photo he released with Pelosi dressing him down kinda said it all. Even the openly malicious are tired.

this week on the investigation: the investigation into whether barr acted improperly in directing the doj to investigate the doj's investigation into the trump campaign, an experimental discussion set in the tea cup ride at the county fair

According to the Washington Examiner, Conway contacted reporter Caitlin Yilek Tuesday night without personally taking the conversation off the record. She appeared to take issue with a line in a recent article asserting that she had “been in the middle of Trump’s barbs with her husband, George, a conservative lawyer who frequently makes headlines for his criticism of the president.”

“I just am wondering why in God’s earth you would need to mention anything about George Conway’s tweets in an article that talks about me as possibly being chief of staff,” Conway said, formally citing her husband. “Let me tell you something, from a powerful woman. Don’t pull the crap where you’re trying to undercut another woman based on who she’s married to. He gets his power through me, if you haven’t noticed. Not the other way around.”

dinner at the conways must be a doozy

ungood night!

I really enjoyed my conversation with General @MazloumAbdi. He appreciates what we have done, and I appreciate what the Kurds have done. Perhaps it is time for the Kurds to start heading to the Oil Region!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 24, 2019

I think he thinks the entirety of the Middle East consists of only sand or oil.

Most of America thinks this

the Oil Region

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oil_Region

oil city represent

Kurds and wahey.

hang on friends
theres plenty more goodies in the pipeline

dinner at the conways must be a doozy

George tucks into a nice prime rib with potato, while Kellyanne inhales the cow's soul.

Metaphor for the Clinton impeachment.

bolton seems like a guy who might be willing to bury trump

― mookieproof, Thursday, October 10, 2019 7:14 PM (two weeks ago)

!!! John Bolton’s lawyers have consulted with the impeachment inquiry committees about a possible deposition. @kylieatwood

— Shimon Prokupecz (@ShimonPro) October 25, 2019

Trump can always win him over by nuking Iran

Here are the nine GOP senators who have not signed on to Sen. Lindsey Graham’s tepid resolution condemning the impeachment process in the House:

Lamar Alexander (TN)*
Susan Collins (ME)
Mike Enzi (WY)
Cory Gardner (CO)
Johnny Isakson (GA)*
Lisa Murkowski (AK)
Rob Portman (OH)
Mitt Romney (UT)
Dan Sullivan (AK)

*not seeking re-election

only need 13 to reach 60 votes...(assuming all dem/independents stick together)

60 is not enough to remove though

oh, dur. welp, only 20 to reach 67 votes!
welp

dur

fuck

NPR had a piece on John Bolton's shrewd judgment this morning and I wanted to fucking kill myself

Can't wait until today's 'both sides' journalism takes the logical step of weighing the equally-valid viewpoints of the criminally insane as a fair and balanced counterpoint to those in possession of brains that function.

guys I don’t know how a pleasant way to say this but: we’re going to have to start murking old white people