CATS is closing!!

i send all my posts via telegram

*adjusts steampunk goggles, dies*

That's also the last line of the Cats screenplay

T.S. Eliot invented steampunk, whoa

what did you think the "s" stood for?

yeah his full name was 'the steampunk eliot' iirc

THERE'S A CRANK TO SHUT THE WINDOW IF YOU SNEEZE

cranks are steampunk, case closed

Q: is Jason Derulo's digitally-erased crank steampunk

here's the cg workstation used for derulorasure, decide 4 yrself

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.U0sp7mh-iSG2PkUteGzHfwHaE8%26pid%3DApi&f=1

xp it'll be addressed in the sequel

cats ii: the dept of crank yankers

One critic described proceedings as permanently on the brink of a sex party. Other reviewers were struck by Cats’ visual and tonal similarity to The Human Centipede, a horror film in which kidnap victims are stitched together mouth to anus.

Cats always feels like it’s two seconds away from turning into a furry orgy in a dumpster.

brb pitching my contrarian revisionist rave to sight and sound

50/50 chance Armond White is months ahead of you

'Cats is a jubilant celebration of the unspoken yet universal human desire to fuck a cat.' - Rex Reed

I've found myself wondering more than a few times since the trailer dropped whether this thing is a stealth recruitment video largely funded by the shadowy furry lobby. Because if so, it's working.

Oh weird, I just reloaded this thread and got the font problem for the first time.

I'm using safari and I see the different font, but it is not a problem, I kind of think this special thread deserves a special font.

this special thread deserves the https://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?action=showall&boardid=60&threadid=2955 treatment

lmao at your post bumping that thread ulysses

holy shit, i just lost myself in that thread for ... what day is it?

Great thred

my gf really hates the uppers music as it means she needs to find my phone

Here's the one-two: FT's Nigel Andrews gives a positive review!

https://www.ft.com/content/cd836eb2-2180-11ea-b8a1-584213ee7b2b

...and then IMMEDIATELY RETIRES.

https://www.ft.com/content/d70957b2-20e5-11ea-b8a1-584213ee7b2b

All the best zings:

https://digg.com/2019/bad-reviews-cats-movie

Just had a -great- time reading those zings aloud to my partner - this one made her double over: “an approximation of what would happen if your third eye actually opened and you could suddenly see into the astral plane.”

There is a thin line between idiocy and genius, and Cats pukes a hairball on it and rubs its ass all over it.

A+

Best thread ever

Sounds like Sonic is really gonna have to deliver to top this one (I maintain hope that the 45 seconds of fan-pleasing reworked animation we've seen is all that they'll have the time to handle properly and that the remainder of the overhaul will somehow look even worse than the first trailer).

please don't make me think about sonic topping cats

Too late (barfs, coughs up hairball).

Sonic the Edgehog: Runpleteazer

the animators who worked 70 hour weeks to re-do the entire movie are probably pissed that this thing came out like that, "see, it's fine!!"

Just checked Box Office Mojo to see what kind of business this thing needs to do to break even ($95 million budget!) and only now learned that IMDB has recently destroyed Box Office Mojo. Capital work, fellows.

I'm actually amazed at all the reports of incomplete effects.

it's one of the aspects I'm most looking forward to tbh

2020 needed a showgirls

If I live long enough to see a megabudget Hollywood film released to theaters that features even like a few seconds of an actor jumping around in front of a green screen while wearing a ping pong ball-festooned jumpsuit before the finished effects shot jerkily resumes, I think I could die happily right then and there.

I'll be seeing Jumanji this weekend at my daughter's request. Daughter is into felines, but saw the Cats trailer and was appropriately put-off, thank god. She's still at an age where I want her to enjoy things because they are enjoyable, not because they are total travesties of cinema.

But my wife's mom occasionally recruits me to chaperone a learning-disabled relative to the cinema and that relative is a very big cat person. I'm going to casually introduce the topic while we're over there on Christmas Day and see where it leads. I'm intrigued enough to go see this in the theater if it's on someone else's dime.

showcats otm!

Daughter is into felines, but saw the Cats trailer and was appropriately put-off, thank god.

Similarly, much as I love a good pear, I somehow refrained from eating the half-rotten bosc I once saw bobbing in a public toilet.

What if it was covered in vivid CGI fur?

I'll be seeing Jumanji this weekend at my daughter's request.

as harmless childrens' action-comedies go this was p good btw

first (well, first recent one, i mean) was good

These are surprising takes. I had assumed they were the hottest of trash.

they are no CATS (2019)

i love this movie so much, one day i will actually see it i guess probably

don't get me wrong I would never have watched it if my kid didn't wanna go see it (I mean, it's not Fantastic Mr. Fox) but it's amiable/pleasant and all the body-switching/actors-imitating-other-actors' delivery schtick is relatively charming. It's silly and low-stakes but it's fun. I admit I have a soft spot for Danny DeVito.

xps

Yeah, we saw the 2017 one recently and liked it pretty well as a movie to watch with the kid. And rated PG-13 for dick and boob jokes, which were cringey but also felt kinda refreshing, honestly. Not sure if those are super-common in PG-13s these days, but the last time I saw any were in Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2 and they just felt forced and lame.