love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

Looks like he needed a crap tbf

viri gonna virus

xp nothing can prevent me from thinking that he’s one of the unfortunates who only shit once a week

that's what a diet of soylent green and ket will do to you

say what you like about boris johnson, but at a moment like this you have to admit he is a racist

— Gordon Maloney (@gordonmaloney) March 27, 2020

Muslim Twitter has weighed in:

I am.... screaming pic.twitter.com/7tZEFPEAVS

— Ruqaiya (@ruqaiya_h) March 27, 2020

Dominic Goings

Matt Hancock has it.

They all fall down.

They’ll be fine

If Matt Hancock dies there will be a national day of yawning

they looked from the virus to the Hancock, and from the Hancock to the virus, but already yadda yadda yadda

matt hancock has an anthology of matt cartoons on his shelves

jfc this deranged hack

@BethRigby
54m
Quite extraordinary in moment of national crisis both PM and his right hand man in this battle Matt Hancock have tested positive for #coronavirus. Obvious questions as to why those leading country weren’t better protected in order to ensure they were fighting fit to protect us

maybe if the pm had properly washed his right hand he and hatt mancock wouldn’t be in this predicament

Corporal Rigby is correct, but we must not panic

Everyone's focusing on the "weren't better protected" bit but it's the "to protect us" bit that's real cloud cuckoo land.

Even when el presidente is asleep in bed at night I don't feel as safe and protected

And you know for a fact that the feckless cunt hasn't followed any of the advice his government has been putting out - as we know from his breeding habits, Boris just doesn't do precautions.

Hang on now let's be fair, he might just have been following the advice from two weeks ago.

Herd immunity begins at home.

Remember this?

https://youtu.be/1IM9jd3XCF0

'I was at a hospital where there were a few coronavirus patients and I shook hands with everybody' says Boris Johnson

staring at the eclipse level idiocy

I haven't actually watched live footage of him in ages, and I get to seething very quickly.

I don't mean live, you know what I mean.

live in the time of chorona

greater glasgow and clyde still top of the local authority COVID-19 league tables. try glasgow less

Chris Whitty's down! Who's left?

it is the most populous council area in scotland tbf

er, xp

fuck at this rate priti patel is gonna ascend to no 10 and declare herself dictator for life

Here's Matt Hancock, infected with CV-19, gloveless, helping to deliver PPE to front line medical staff.

Hancock unloading a small van with a few boxes of protective clothing. Is this being taken seriously? pic.twitter.com/57OMWm0iiv

— 🇩️avid 🇲️organ (@AJobTracker) March 23, 2020

Michael Gove, the Cabinet Office minister, will lead the daily coronavirus press conference shortly.

Corona fodder

🤞

This is like one of those Sven Goran Eriksson-era England friendlies when so many players were taken off they just ended up passing the captain's armband to whoever was left on the pitch, so I assume Emile Heskey will be taking the daily coronavirus press conference before too long.

YASS

Matty Taylor for president xp

SYSTEMS THINKING will sort PLANK CORVID out!!!

upvote

never write off (current lol Chair of the Intelligence and Security Committee) Chris Grayling, he's a dour stayer is that lad!

Michael Gove, the Cabinet Office minister, will lead the daily coronavirus press conference shortly.

GOVID-19, a particularly hideous mutation.

die boris

England's Chief Medical Officer, Chris Whitty, is self-isolating at home with symptoms

Just need the CSO to confirm they've been having pre-conference huddles

Dominic Cummings doing a runner to the Benny Hill theme tune. 😂 pic.twitter.com/YPXgboYjA5

— Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) March 27, 2020

I've been laughing to myself all afternoon whenever I think about that Benny Cummings / Dominic Hill clip. I was easily amused before cabin fever set in.

Italy has reported 919 new deaths from coronavirus, the highest number of fatalities any country has reported in the space of 24 hours since the outbreak began late last year.

and the national health institute are saying this is not even the anticipated peak yet. Huge surge in Spain as well - 769 deaths.

Deaths are up in Italy but new infections are down again. We won’t know for a bit but people take a long time to get through this. If new infections continue to fall, the deaths will follow too but the lag is because of how the disease is. The people who died could have been infected up to three weeks ago.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUJdwDoWkAA0GO5?format=jpg&name=900x900

never mind the grim inevitability of the locked in Rona tsunami of death, has Jess managed to get her pizza yet?

Thank you, I was just looking for a screenshot of that! Ridiculous person.

I think even most braindead tory of celebz would be wary about flexing their bluetick status @ food delivery companies in an era when pensioners and the disabled can't get a food delivery within the calendar month rn.