Matt Hancock has it.
They all fall down.
― Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 27 March 2020 13:25 (four years ago) link
They’ll be fine
― felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Friday, 27 March 2020 13:31 (four years ago) link
If Matt Hancock dies there will be a national day of yawning
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 13:39 (four years ago) link
they looked from the virus to the Hancock, and from the Hancock to the virus, but already yadda yadda yadda
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 13:41 (four years ago) link
matt hancock has an anthology of matt cartoons on his shelves
― ogmor, Friday, 27 March 2020 13:42 (four years ago) link
jfc this deranged hack
@BethRigby54mQuite extraordinary in moment of national crisis both PM and his right hand man in this battle Matt Hancock have tested positive for #coronavirus. Obvious questions as to why those leading country weren’t better protected in order to ensure they were fighting fit to protect us
― nashwan, Friday, 27 March 2020 14:07 (four years ago) link
maybe if the pm had properly washed his right hand he and hatt mancock wouldn’t be in this predicament
― a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 March 2020 14:09 (four years ago) link
Corporal Rigby is correct, but we must not panic
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 14:09 (four years ago) link
Everyone's focusing on the "weren't better protected" bit but it's the "to protect us" bit that's real cloud cuckoo land.
― Matt DC, Friday, 27 March 2020 14:16 (four years ago) link
Even when el presidente is asleep in bed at night I don't feel as safe and protected
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 14:30 (four years ago) link
And you know for a fact that the feckless cunt hasn't followed any of the advice his government has been putting out - as we know from his breeding habits, Boris just doesn't do precautions.
― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 27 March 2020 14:30 (four years ago) link
Hang on now let's be fair, he might just have been following the advice from two weeks ago.
― Matt DC, Friday, 27 March 2020 14:41 (four years ago) link
Herd immunity begins at home.
― coco vide (pomenitul), Friday, 27 March 2020 14:43 (four years ago) link
Remember this?
https://youtu.be/1IM9jd3XCF0
'I was at a hospital where there were a few coronavirus patients and I shook hands with everybody' says Boris Johnson
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Friday, 27 March 2020 14:50 (four years ago) link
staring at the eclipse level idiocy
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Friday, 27 March 2020 14:51 (four years ago) link
I haven't actually watched live footage of him in ages, and I get to seething very quickly.
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 27 March 2020 15:02 (four years ago) link
I don't mean live, you know what I mean.
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 27 March 2020 15:03 (four years ago) link
live in the time of chorona
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 15:06 (four years ago) link
greater glasgow and clyde still top of the local authority COVID-19 league tables. try glasgow less
― ||||||||, Friday, 27 March 2020 16:55 (four years ago) link
Chris Whitty's down! Who's left?
― akb23 (Matt #2), Friday, 27 March 2020 16:56 (four years ago) link
it is the most populous council area in scotland tbf
― a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 March 2020 16:56 (four years ago) link
er, xp
― a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 March 2020 16:57 (four years ago) link
fuck at this rate priti patel is gonna ascend to no 10 and declare herself dictator for life
Here's Matt Hancock, infected with CV-19, gloveless, helping to deliver PPE to front line medical staff.
Hancock unloading a small van with a few boxes of protective clothing. Is this being taken seriously? pic.twitter.com/57OMWm0iiv— 🇩️avid 🇲️organ (@AJobTracker) March 23, 2020
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Friday, 27 March 2020 16:58 (four years ago) link
Michael Gove, the Cabinet Office minister, will lead the daily coronavirus press conference shortly.
Corona fodder
― akb23 (Matt #2), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:00 (four years ago) link
🤞
― a struggle to make meat-snacking fit (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:04 (four years ago) link
This is like one of those Sven Goran Eriksson-era England friendlies when so many players were taken off they just ended up passing the captain's armband to whoever was left on the pitch, so I assume Emile Heskey will be taking the daily coronavirus press conference before too long.
― Matt DC, Friday, 27 March 2020 17:11 (four years ago) link
YASS
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:13 (four years ago) link
Matty Taylor for president xp
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:14 (four years ago) link
SYSTEMS THINKING will sort PLANK CORVID out!!!
― Matt DC, Friday, 27 March 2020 17:15 (four years ago) link
upvote
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:18 (four years ago) link
never write off (current lol Chair of the Intelligence and Security Committee) Chris Grayling, he's a dour stayer is that lad!
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 17:21 (four years ago) link
GOVID-19, a particularly hideous mutation.
― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:30 (four years ago) link
die boris
― COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:32 (four years ago) link
England's Chief Medical Officer, Chris Whitty, is self-isolating at home with symptoms
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:39 (four years ago) link
Just need the CSO to confirm they've been having pre-conference huddles
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Friday, 27 March 2020 17:40 (four years ago) link
Dominic Cummings doing a runner to the Benny Hill theme tune. 😂 pic.twitter.com/YPXgboYjA5— Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) March 27, 2020
― Matt DC, Friday, 27 March 2020 19:27 (four years ago) link
I've been laughing to myself all afternoon whenever I think about that Benny Cummings / Dominic Hill clip. I was easily amused before cabin fever set in.
― michaellambert, Friday, 27 March 2020 19:47 (four years ago) link
Italy has reported 919 new deaths from coronavirus, the highest number of fatalities any country has reported in the space of 24 hours since the outbreak began late last year.
and the national health institute are saying this is not even the anticipated peak yet. Huge surge in Spain as well - 769 deaths.
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 21:40 (four years ago) link
Deaths are up in Italy but new infections are down again. We won’t know for a bit but people take a long time to get through this. If new infections continue to fall, the deaths will follow too but the lag is because of how the disease is. The people who died could have been infected up to three weeks ago.
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Friday, 27 March 2020 21:47 (four years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUJdwDoWkAA0GO5?format=jpg&name=900x900
never mind the grim inevitability of the locked in Rona tsunami of death, has Jess managed to get her pizza yet?
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 22:11 (four years ago) link
Thank you, I was just looking for a screenshot of that! Ridiculous person.
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Friday, 27 March 2020 22:21 (four years ago) link
I think even most braindead tory of celebz would be wary about flexing their bluetick status @ food delivery companies in an era when pensioners and the disabled can't get a food delivery within the calendar month rn.
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 22:35 (four years ago) link
she's not braindead, she's #real
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 22:39 (four years ago) link
I mean lads. Fucking Pizza Hut.
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Friday, 27 March 2020 22:39 (four years ago) link
Sorry to hear this. Please reach out to our friends @PizzaHutUK for further assistance. Thanks for your understanding.— Pizza Hut (@pizzahut) March 27, 2020
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Friday, 27 March 2020 22:42 (four years ago) link
she's speaking truth to bad pizzas
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 22:42 (four years ago) link
i have never met anybody in real life who's ordered a Pizza Hut delivery when any alternative takeaway, no matter how bad, was available
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 22:44 (four years ago) link
I bet there is no shortage of top quality takeaways in her constituency as well
― calzino, Friday, 27 March 2020 22:46 (four years ago) link
you've got that right, bab
― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 March 2020 22:46 (four years ago) link