When a 5-year-old lies to you
― let me be your friend on the other end! (Karl Malone), Friday, 24 April 2020 17:34 (four years ago) link
xp
Idiot: (something so stupid that it both transcends and eclipses the stupidity of their usual stupidity)Bystander: Wow, that was the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard a person say.Idiot: IT WAS A JOKE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS! (spontaneously unleashes number one and number two in his trousers)
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:05 (four years ago) link
(i.e. the refuge of the deeply-stupid who are also deeply-insecure about being perceived as deeply-stupid but not so deeply-insecure to ever do a single thing to actually rectify their deep stupidity)
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:07 (four years ago) link
The President of the United States purposely put out info to the general public that could possibly result in citizens ingesting dangerous chemicals, while also making himself look like a deranged simpleton, just to troll the media. Yep that's a lot better than if he had truly believed what he was saying.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:08 (four years ago) link
own the libs, kill the gullible, #tiredofwinning!
― stone cold jane austen (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:11 (four years ago) link
Yeah, there's basically no angle or explanation that could possibly vindicate him here. He either has the intelligence of a half-dead carp or he's an evil fuck who thinks joking about people poisoning themselves while in the midst of a pandemic is all in good fun (surprise, he's both!).
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:22 (four years ago) link
It’s definitely the former, and we shouldn’t even entertain the possibility that it was a joke
― let me be your friend on the other end! (Karl Malone), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:30 (four years ago) link
i just said it so that you would report the thing i said. who has egg on their face now
― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:32 (four years ago) link
president i'm rubber and you're glue
― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:33 (four years ago) link
Oh, to be clear, I don't think anyone with a functioning brain ever thought or will think it's a joke.
You can use that as your metric for brain function going forward, btw.
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:36 (four years ago) link
there's basically no angle or explanation that could possibly vindicate him here
Narrator:...
― stone cold jane austen (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:37 (four years ago) link
anyone with a functioning brain
Yes that's the trouble tho
I mean, yes, come on guys, we all know the territory very well by now. Trump eats a child, Trump gets called out, Trump says he was super hungry and only ate the kid as a goof, the kid's MAGA parents eagerly parrot Trump's excuse for devouring their son, lather rinse repeat. And the fourteen people who still retain some tattered remnant of a conscience scream THIS ISN'T OKAAAAAAY and nothing changes except that Trump maybe only eats part of the next kid's arm.
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Friday, 24 April 2020 18:50 (four years ago) link
remember when trump wanted to buy greenland, but that also turned out to be a 'joek'? those were the days
― mookieproof, Friday, 24 April 2020 19:07 (four years ago) link
he's a funny guy that Trump
― (•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 24 April 2020 19:11 (four years ago) link
https://media1.tenor.com/images/1612e5f2555c94351fd3bfce2fac51f9/tenor.gif
― (•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 24 April 2020 19:12 (four years ago) link
I would support buying Greenland, installing Trump as king, and renaming it Trumpland. Everyone who loves him goes there to live under his benevolent and genius leaderness. So many problems solved.
― stone cold jane austen (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 24 April 2020 19:15 (four years ago) link
https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2020/04/24/b857a115.png
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 April 2020 19:54 (four years ago) link
not sure why drinking the bleach is getting so much attention when putting the sunshine inside of the body is exponentially funnier— Rich Lather (@allahliker) April 24, 2020
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:42 (four years ago) link
drawing and quartering myself to own the libs
― edgard varese-type beat (voodoo chili), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:43 (four years ago) link
At the end of her news conference, PELOSI: "No money for the Post Office. Instead inject Lysol into your lungs."— Jake Sherman (@JakeSherman) April 24, 2020
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:50 (four years ago) link
Probably getting talked about more because while a hilarious image, a bunch of chuds aiming their gaping maws and assholes at the morning sun won't end up in as many deaths.
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:58 (four years ago) link
Lots sunburned taints tho!
― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 24 April 2020 21:00 (four years ago) link
truth stranger than fiction:https://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/josh-brolin-tried-butthole-sunburn-perineum-sunning
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 24 April 2020 21:45 (four years ago) link
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4xj6R9hU6A/
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 24 April 2020 21:46 (four years ago) link
So he took no questions after today's actually brief briefing? Guess we're all finally learning our lesson.
― nashwan, Friday, 24 April 2020 22:43 (four years ago) link
that'll show em
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 24 April 2020 23:06 (four years ago) link
― (•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:12 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink
^^^ gifs you can hear
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Friday, 24 April 2020 23:48 (four years ago) link
Oh look everyone in the media's talking about his bleach thing instead of the fact 50,000 people are dead in the US, wonder why he said that
― (don't fear) the starmer (Matt #2), Friday, 24 April 2020 23:49 (four years ago) link
apparently Fox News dragged out a neuroradiologist who shared his expert opinion that the isolation from Coronavirus should end.
they're just dragging out people with Dr in their name as long as they'll say we shouldn't self-isolate.
I know I'm the "oh stop the Eeyore shit" itt but that's when it comes to beating Trump in November, something we have at least some semblance of influence over.
after seeing the mass gathering in Michigan where no social distancing was observed, I'm pretty convinced we're going to get millions of people killed by reopening too early because politicians and governors in some states start kowtowing to these assholes.
if these idiots were the ones who would die for their stupidity, i wouldn't care, but. ...ughhh
just ordered booze.
― genital giant (Neanderthal), Friday, 24 April 2020 23:50 (four years ago) link
this whole thing is fucking stupid but I have to say this may be the first time I've seen CNN use "Trump lies" in a headline
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/24/politics/fact-check-trump-disinfectant-sarcastic/index.html
― akm, Saturday, 25 April 2020 00:05 (four years ago) link
I was surprised by that. Especially since this lie was way less certifiable than hundreds of others he's told.
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Saturday, 25 April 2020 00:11 (four years ago) link
has he recently said we should do what Sweden is doing or anything like that
― genital giant (Neanderthal), Saturday, 25 April 2020 00:20 (four years ago) link
In this rural Pennsylvania town, bleach offers hope for some, fear for othersPage A10— nuanced opinion guy (@charles_kinbote) April 25, 2020
― but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, 25 April 2020 00:35 (four years ago) link
lol
― Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 25 April 2020 00:36 (four years ago) link
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:12 (four years ago) link
p sure the media is talking a lot about the 50,000 dead in the media considering the moment we crossed 50k I heard about it everywhere
― genital giant (Neanderthal), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:18 (four years ago) link
the media is talking about it in the media cos in the media they're in the media y'know, christ wtf 'Thal
"Suppose you can bring the light inside the body"
for May thread title
― Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:19 (four years ago) link
lol no way did he 'plan' this news cycle, he'd much much rather the media talk about dead Americans than him being a dumbass
― frogbs, Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:19 (four years ago) link
it's a headfake, also he was behind BAlloon Boy
― genital giant (Neanderthal), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:28 (four years ago) link
also Air Force one has a pred ship inside it
― genital giant (Neanderthal), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:29 (four years ago) link
actually drinking bleach DOES cure coronavirus but he doesn't want the public to know so he's making everybody think it's a crazy thing to do so that we all get stuck inside, the economy tanks, he loses the election and can get back to making The Apprentice the #1 show in america; circles inside circles INSIDE circles
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:43 (four years ago) link
wait a second, you mean to tell me this wasn't just some stupid idea that percolated up in Trump's brain? there's actually people trying to push him to talk about this cure!
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/24/revealed-leader-group-peddling-bleach-cure-lobbied-trump-coronavirus
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:51 (four years ago) link
i only post truth
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:54 (four years ago) link
i hear you but i honestly don't think this guy can even play 1-d chess
Some anti-vaxxers are citing that since the manufacturers are saying not to take 'disinfectants', and since certain 'disinfectants' are used in vaccines, they are rationalizing that Trump said what he said to coax the companies into saying you shouldn't take vaccines.
Basically any dimensional chess is the base building favorable narratives for their personal causes out of Two-Scoops' brainfart one-liners.
― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 25 April 2020 01:59 (four years ago) link
I'll wait until I see the latest intelligence from Q-Anon before I decide what form of brilliance is deeply hidden in Trump's disinfectant and UV light message. It was probably a coded warning against some evil machination of the Deep State.
― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 25 April 2020 03:11 (four years ago) link
Imagine at sporting events or concerts. To enter you have to first go through a far-UVC light portal like an airport metal detector.Kills any viruses on you.Also, in bathrooms, add a far-UVC light to the hand dryer. As you dry your hands, it kills viruses.Just ideas.— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) April 24, 2020
I have a feeling far-UVC lights are about to be in high demand.— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) April 24, 2020
― mookieproof, Saturday, 25 April 2020 03:28 (four years ago) link
Suppose you can bring the light inside the body.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DAX-J45UMAAJ410.jpg
― crüt, Saturday, 25 April 2020 03:32 (four years ago) link