love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

she got a good grounding in hypocrisy and talking meaningless twaddle, her dad was a vicar!

Matt beat me to suggesting she's got the Alzheimers

she was talking about the domestic abuse bill 2020, which completely excludes immigrants apparently. so vmic. She's another of these arseholes who repped for (and unveiled the cursed piece of rubbish) the Astor statue

Pools, gyms and sports facilities will be able to reopen and team sports and outdoor gigs resume, the government has announced.

Outdoor pools and performances can resume from Saturday with social distancing in place, Culture Secretary Oliver Dowden has said.

Indoor gyms, sports facilities and pools will be able to reopen from 25 July.

Guidance will be published for team sports to return from Saturday.

Outdoor gigs is insane.

you wouldn't catch me going into a changing room as much as I'd love to go swimming. Lol might have to go speedo mick stylee!

Oh god here come some shitty festivals

Not sure how the science works for watching some cunts playing guitars but not watching live sport

Sunak has thrown a lifeline to hard-up members of Reef and Cast, down to headline every shonky Village Picnic-type festival in the country.

Also seriously, how does the government think people get to and from these events?

Thanks for reminding me of the upside as nimbies across the country have radge induced heart attacks

It's almost as if this plan has got fuck all to do with not spreading the rona

Says the hypocritical scamp who went to the pub yday

you can't have rick witter on UC

I'm that hungover I can't remember which one he is. Shed 7? UC's too good for them

yep, Stella Creasy's fav band

God imagine standing in a bog somewhere near Saffron Walden surrounded by cunts bellowing along to the Fratellis

opening up indoor swimming pools might just work if people get changed in the car park

Spraying rona with every lurching cokey knees-up nuhnanuh, and the red death holds sway over all

The Kaiser Chiefs Live From The ICU

tbf the quicker the country is laid waste and its fields ploughed with salt, grey squirrels lynched in rows from Giant Hogweeds and a giant picture of Ian Brown's gurning face carved over the Cerne Abbas giant the better, come friendly germs and fall on Slough

oi

Beautiful, like a batsignal 😁

nothing learned from the great Stereophonics death wave in Wales, obv gigs are an appalling idea rn.

Going to call my new band The Great Stereophonics Death Wave

my gym literally has no windows. i’ve HAD covid and i wouldn’t go in there.

Mine’s the Imago Squirrel Implosion.

God imagine standing in a bog somewhere near Saffron Walden surrounded by cunts bellowing along to the Fratellis

the 'phonics managed to kill more people than the Aberfan Disaster, that is quite insane when you think about it!

Does that make them... the opposite of landfill indie? Slagheap indie?

lol!

gravefill indie

Stereophonics killing Stereophonics fans is the definition of a victimless crime

Like squirrel culling

that is literally the last time i waste my risque material on 'second thoughts'

dying for your love of landfill rock is the ultimate cool way to go though... Gene Vincent, Marc Bolan, Sid Vicious, Bon Scott... fucking lightweights!

odd having mixed feelings about kasabian splitting up tbh

Ć̐̈́͆̚h̄̌rͦi̍͆͌ͣͭs͛ͤ̀̚ ̐̇ͦ̃̂͑Gͧ̉̊͒̈̊ͬr̒̎̽ͪͥͧáͬ̏̏y͒ͦ̏͐lͭ̑̽̍̀in̓̑̑̍͑ͤg has been appointed as Chair of the Intelligence and Security Committee.

irony is just a little bit more dead tonight

Tom Lehrer / Kissinger scenario.

Come on, you can’t tell me they didn’t laugh their holes off doing that one.

Look it was either him or

if pubs and restaurants are making 50% of their pre-COVID turnover, how on earth do they survive, even if there isn't another lockdown? idgi

carving off their own Rona infected flesh and making blood sausages to help out, and serving their own Rona infected urine as beer. paying their staff in blood sausages and urine!

do you ever get the feeling that perhaps Rishi is a little bit out of his depth?

I can remember when you can buy a pint of piss and still get some change from a fifty pound note, and you wouldn't die of the Rona on the way to the chippy.

Has there been a good write-up of Rishi's summer statement (I was away for a couple of days so didn't see much)?

I can't unpack the 1k per employee. It doesn't look like it will stop mass redundancies in Retail, what with Boots announcing job cuts yesterday.

Summer Statement?

It's important to support business, within relevant budgetary constraints, but meal vouchers are no substitute for effective public health messaging and measures, which need to be effectively messaged through available communications channels, focusing initially on digital and social.

Yes, the summer statement.

I was close yesterday but it turns out you get to catch the rona surrounded by Gaz Coombes fans in a field in Newcastle

This is a crisis,, now.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em pic.twitter.com/O3JL7aczhd

— keir starmer retire bitch (@alexeptable) July 9, 2020