how to find a good therapist

I had a therapist for 6-7 years and then he died 6 years ago and I never looked for another one. I need one now.

A few comments:

1. I am somewhat resistant to therapy. This shit is so hard and I seem to have limited capacity to take the intellectual insights I recognize from therapy and actually internalize them so that I can apply them to my emotional state (mostly anger issues). Therapy helped, but mostly on the margins. Regardless, I would take even that right now.

2. Previous therapist was a straight-up Freudian psychotherapist (and quite old). I might want someone a little more practical this time. I don't want someone to merely prescribe me a drug, but would want that to at least be on the table if the professional thought that would help.

3. US-based.

Any recommendations for limiting my search beyond who is in-network for my insurance?

Any help or advice is very appreciated.

go for an integrated facility with multiple providers and standards/accountability rather than just some bloke in an office, just my 2p

Trust your instincts, be prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.

For myself, one of the most important qualities in a therapist (besides compassion etc) is an ability to set structure and not just let every session be “brimstead whines for an hour”... I need goals

The way I found my current (amazing) therapist is I went to friends-who-themselves-work-as-therapists and asked them who was the best therapist they would recommend.

Thanks all for the suggestions; they are helpful.

This resonates with me:

For myself, one of the most important qualities in a therapist (besides compassion etc) is an ability to set structure and not just let every session be “brimstead whines for an hour”... I need goals

Especially since most of my issues are self-inflicted.

I tend to favor psychologists over social workers as therapists, but of course there are awesome social worker therapists and shitty psychologist therapists. But I think training in a good psychology program is better suited to individual psychotherapy practice than social work training.

You can also use Psychology Today to double check any in-network lists; some may have cringe-worthy profiles that will help you weed out the obvious NO NO NO folks.

I unexpectedly was referred to a new therapist and it’s early but…I felt seen, I felt heard, she got me. I’m only seeing her weekly but I felt tremendously relieved after doing so.

A big difference from the last real therapist I had is that there was no beating about the bush this time; I felt a connection, I felt I could trust her with the things I wanted to talk about and deal with. That plus I’m old. I don’t have loads of time the way I did ten years ago when I started with my then therapist.

But yeah. Surprised, but happy. I hope this lasts.

That is really good. I have to find a new one. Dreading it.

any way we could move this thread to 77? would like to contribute but would prefer to do so on the less public board.

I’m in favour of that, yeah. Do we need to ask someone?

Have I mentioned itt that I can't believe someone hasn't set up Therapist Speed Dating? I mean for real it would be amazing to be able to get to get a 10-minute rapport check before committing. . .

That would be an excellent idea.

Too bad all the good ones are taken….