Alone in the Park - it's the Prem 2020-21 thread

It's alright lads, we've signed another winger no one's heard of

OFICIAL| @FPellistri07 nuevo jugador de @ManUtd por 5 temporadas. El equipo inglés pagó la cláusula de rescisión y en este momento @OficialCAP está subiendo la documentación internacional. Muchos éxitos!

OFFICIAL | Fellistri new player of @ManUtd for 5 seasons. Good luck!! pic.twitter.com/tv2qYbfegF

— Sebas Giovanelli (@SebasGiovanelli) October 5, 2020

a winger! that'll do it

we actually do need one. Haven't had a recognised right-winger in the squad in like seven years

it's probably not this lad though

I am told that West Ham have reached an agreement to cancel Jack Wilshere's contract by mutual consent #whufc

— Jacob Steinberg (@JacobSteinberg) October 5, 2020

hope Ed Woodward's watching Twitter

Kevin Mirallas has signed for the Turkish side Gaziantep, who initially announced it on Twitter using a picture of Morgan Schneiderlin.

They've now given him some baklava with 'Happy Birthday' written on it.

Traore has apparently signed for €40m, to join in January when his work permit is in place.

aiui, he has played 24 minutes of senior football.

it's €20m + €20m in add-ons

apparently we've been scouting him for years and Atalanta's academy is meant to be the best in Italy at the moment

but it's a little bit weird alright

Cavani official now too. Been given the #7 shirt so he's fucked

Apparently Eric-Maxim Choupo-Moting has never once commanded a transfer fee? That's kind of astonishing for someone who's played for seven clubs and has Schalke, PSG and now Bayern on their CV.

and

I noticed Everton were understandably being linked with quite a few goalkeepers earlier. WTF has Lossl ever done wrong for them? Pickford should be cleaning his boots and he should have been given a run in the team. He's a class act.

well you used the word 'understandably'!

well only "understandably" because their last two managers seem to be (despite whatever other talents they apparently possess) myopic clueless cunts who don't seem to comprehend how shit Pick-me-ford is.

but now understandably they can send their "dud" back to us on loan

when a man is tired of ben hamer he is tired of life

believe or not he's actually looking a bit better under Corberán (I know a low bar) and has made two class point saving saves in 3 games now. We are at that stage that was like when Wagner first arrived - a radical improvement in performances, but the same lack of goals and generally poor results!

It would've tickled my dad for Everton to have a 'keeper whose name is nearly Joe Loss. (I've spent five fruitless minutes searching for any evidence of Wally Poole's Number One Band, Birkenhead's answer to Joe Loss, but I think it was another of the old fella's inventions).

tbh we conceded 50 odd goals in 33 games with Lossl, but erm... just naked Rothman book stats never tell the full story!

if Lossl is Joe Loss then that makes Pickford the leader of Terry Wogan's house band

I was so sad that Jerry Quy aka our famous & loyal mascot @Gunnersaurus and integral part of our club was being made redundant after 27 years. As such, I’m offering to reimburse @Arsenal with the full salary of our big green guy as long as I will be an Arsenal player... pic.twitter.com/IfWN38x62z

— Mesut Özil (@MesutOzil1088) October 6, 2020

The plot thickens

Noooo Gunnersaurus he'll abuse you just to chase after Gulen!

When he says "as long as I will be an Arsenal player" is he saying "I'll continue to do this for the rest of my days at the club" or "I'll only do this if you let me stay at the club"?

I think it's a job application

itt: pictures of dinosaurs gazing haplessly at the arriving mesut

I can't stop watching this

In this video you can see Shaw completely ignore the front post and hear de Gea shout “No, Luke! No, Luke! No, Luke! No!” just before we concede.

[Video Credit: @afcamaru]pic.twitter.com/Q8HpfBa4AX

— UtdArena (@utdarena) October 6, 2020

need Big Sam to get in there

De Gea sounds like he's watching his family get slaughtered there

Sir Haircut...yhank you

Arsenal fan Keir Starmer hits out at club over Gunnersaurus redundancy https://t.co/ikJ0dEmXBE

— Evening Standard (@standardnews) October 7, 2020

Club-to-club agreement for Said Benrahma to join West Ham from Brentford. £30m inc add-ons. Medical likely Weds after int’l duty. Per @JacobSteinberg personal terms still to be done, @SkySportsLyall 1st w/ info last night #WHUFC #BrentfordFC @TheAthleticUK https://t.co/gG4TVCZ9Wt

— David Ornstein (@David_Ornstein) October 11, 2020

Oh noes the Boggies are gonna struggle

nothing will make peasants' revolt 2 electric boogaloo more likely than project big picture

I'm not sure I get the outrage about Project Big Picture aside from the special privs for the 9 clubs, which I assume they put in there as an obviously outrageous thing they could compromise away? I suppose I should care about the League Cup? I think I quite like the idea of the end of parachute payments, I definitely like the idea of TV monies being shared (albeit unevenly) across the 92.

I guess the fans angriest about this are the ones who see their club's potential ascent to the Premiership compromised. The entire Championship are up in arms

Poor darlings.

Narrowing the financial chasm between the premier league and the EFL seems (on the face of it) pretty good, particularly if the EFL teams can get their act together in terms of salary caps and so on*. I mean, overall the proposals are probably bad but what we have now is terrible.

*yes I know, totally unrealistic, poor darlings

anybody who doesn't think that the Big *INSERT NUMBER HERE DEPENDING ON LAST COUPLE OF SEASONS* Clubs should be in charge of professional football in the UK might have some concerns about this bullshit

That’s true. That number is currently 20 and they collectively eschew any responsibility for anything past their own enrichment. I don’t want to see the number reduced but (as I said) if that concentration of power can be negotiated away, the proposals would be an improvement overall I think.

the general financial proposals seem better, yeah, tho it's easy to be suspicious about "where's the catch?"

there are long standing questions about the viability of the league system as it exists now, questions that far precede the rona. maybe nothing should be off the table in terms of a new settlement for TV money in particular. i always get worried in these situations because there are owners and fans who seriously think that there club is somehow bigger than the competitions it competes in.

The whole catch is the voting rights thing.

The reaction against it from Winter, Samuels et al is default, knee-jerk conservatism.

If it's a bargaining position from Henry, Glazers et al, it's a strong one considering how many EFL teams seem to support it.

FA's golden share in PL will block its path almost certainly though — they too are inherently conservative, but also exposes a lot of others as not having a plan.

i don't know if there's anything inherently conservative about being against constitutionally enshrining a Big Six with their own rights and privileges?

If Villa hadn’t had that unfortunate hiatus in the Champo we’d have been included in the magic circle under these proposals and idk if I’d have been tempted to turn to the dark side under such circs.

As it is, I remain dangerously compromised on this issue cause Villa are right up there with Wolves as examples of how “ambitious” high spending Championship owners you can buy your way into the Prem.

It’s tough - you can approve of the redistribution of EPL tv money while recognising that obviously any proposals emanating from these scummy disaster capitalists should be regarded with the deepest suspicion. Is there any chance that pressure could be applied to salvage the positives of the proposals while rejecting the blatant land grab by the top teams? their acknowledgment of the inequality of the current set up and the fact that they raised the prospect of redistribution of tv money themselves is interesting - cause if the proposals are rejected they’ve still sort of admitted publically that the current setup is hugely unfair

It's always going to be hard to impossible because you're dealing with 92 sets of "devil take the hindmost" capitalists of one stripe or another.

I sometimes feel like the bluff should be called on their International Superbowl of Soccerball dreams and let them fuck off and see who wants to watch some bullshit fake competition with a permanent rot(a)ting cast of a dozen usual suspects playing virtual showcase games all year round but on the other hand the answer to "who wants to watch" might turn out to be depressing and shit

In an ideal world there'd be a strong league structure throughout the game above the whims of individual clubs and money would be distributed on the basis that the top tier depends on the other tiers

But the real outcome is more likely to be the rootless franchise bullshit that runs most lesser sports around the world wherever money's at stake

Between the financial situation and the current fuckery with the laws and refereeing there's a grim scientific interest in seeing how badly the game can be ruined before I just lose interest

Read somewhere that the people behind this say they're doing this because they "care". Lol. If they do, why not pitch the same plan, but leave the voting system as it is? If the big clubs think it's so important that more money trickles down, then just... let it trickle down. I honestly don't see why one club one vote has to be abandoned*

*I know why the big clubs want it, it's a power grab

NV otm, not in the least abt the grim scientific interest

let them fuck off and see who wants to watch some bullshit fake competition with a permanent rot(a)ting cast of a dozen usual suspects playing virtual showcase games all year round

I always thought the problem with a Superleague is that the fans of all those teams - Bayern, PSG, Chelsea etc - are used to winning, or at least being in with a shout. Ending up 16th out of 20 every year turns you into the equivalent of Burnley or Crystal Palace or something. And endless exhibition games removes the essential competitive aspect of the sport, even if the 'competition' in say La Liga is only between two or three teams.