Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Resident Smart-Arse "No, he isn't dead."
Me: "yes, he is. That might be why he isn't playing T in the Park"
RS-A: "He's not dead"
Me: Yes, he is. He died in a hotel room in Vegas. It involved drugs and hookers."
RS-A: "You're thinking of that guy from Big Country"
Me: "No, really, I'm not."
RS-A: "You're too young to even know who the Who are, you must be getting confused"
Me: ***bangs head off desk, googles report of John Entwistle's death, shows it to RS-A, waits for apology, doesn't get one, looks for other job***

RS-A: "They won't be playing, they're rubbish"
Me: "Yes, that's why Barcelona signed them"
RS-A: "Barcelona are good, they don't need players from Scotland"
Me: "Yes, that's why they signed them, because they don't need them. I presume they play them for laughs as well"
RS-A: "Yes, but Larsson's missed loads of games for Barcelona"
Me: "Aye, he was injured. He's still in the first team squad now though"
RS-A: (floundering for arguments) "yes, but ironically they didn't even sign van Bronckhorst from Rangers, they signed him from Arsenal. What does *that* tell you?"
Me: "Er, that you don't know the meaning of the word "ironic", perhaps?"
RS-A: ***finds something else important to do elsewhere***

One time, he said aloud "why's it called the WestGate Bridge anyway? It isnt even in the west".

It is, and he then spent ten minutes arguing with me that it, and the whole inner western suburbs, was actually north. Jesus.

He also used to eat the entire loaf of bread bought by the morning tea club that was meant to be shared among about 10 people. He claimed it was because he was poor and going without meals, even though he was on the same salary as the rest of us and also a single man living in a cheaparse flat.

DON'T FUCKING TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL. It's disgusting and no one can understand a word you're saying.

Thank you, goodnight.

And I wonder how someone can actually reach adulthood without learning that talking with your mouth full is rude and disgusting. I mean, did this woman not have parents?

thanks

ps. also not everything you say has to be witty, again it's not compulsory. might be worth just going over in your head the things you're about to say too, you know, is it really that funny? will people roll about laughing? here's a simple rule - "if in doubt, leave it out"

I know you said you would be 'making up the hours' that you are away at your classes, rather than giving up a day's pay as I have been. I can't help but notice, YOU ARE NOT MAKING UP THE HOURS. I like you but I fear I am not going to be able to quell my resentment that you are NOT MAKING UP THE HOURS.

That is all,

Such as: an argument with an annoying manager known (but not to his face) as "ginger tosser". He said: when you send a copy of our price list, you should send the PDF version and not the Word version, so that they can't change it at the other end.

I said: Yes, very sensible, although of course it only matters when you email it - if you're faxing it there's no difference.

But this tosser insisted that there was a difference between faxing a Word document and a PDF, and that if you faxed a Word document to someone they would be able to edit it after receipt. Tosser.

I did say: "if you like, I can fax you a Word document and you can *show me* how to edit it afterwards." His reply was just: "I know you can"

(I did, later, bring this up again in front of my boss and his boss, knowing that my boss, at least, would treat him with laughter and derision)

Anyway, J who sits right opposite me, if you want to know if a job is done just ask me instead of emailing me and CCing it to everyone who doesn't give a shit. I've taken to hitting "Reply to all" and signing off with "Gerry, 5 feet from J..."

Oh yeah, and don't leave sodding fish all over the sodding kitchen - some of us are allergic to that shit.

*collapses larfing* thats insane FP! Now I see why you thought PlayfulPuppy's menko old boss was your boss too ;)

Why is it pointless confronting her yourself? Is she a difficult character?

xpost

archel: it's definitely her job. "pointless" - I get the feeling that I would be ignored whereas a manager wouldn't be.

She really irritates me.

He was frogmarched out of the building and fired not long after that.

yr baby's sportswear
yr baby's poo
yr baby's penis

i work with a dire, racist new zealander; it was pointed out that when our cuntwit colleague ****** leaves i will be the only male in the department. and she cam back 'more like the only girl', presumably because of my slender build and dynamic cheekbones and non-kiwi ways.

So part of my job is posting finished real estate transactions on a dry-erase board for everyone to see. I do it after I have reviewed the contracts and approved the sale, but some people CAN'T FUCKING WAIT for me to approve the sales, so they write it on the board themselves, which they're not supposed to do.

So this morning, I saw this one sale on the board written in red ink. I promptly erased it, expecting the lady to come in and complain, at which point I would explain to her that I write the names on the board, not her.

Five minutes ago, in she comes.

Her: "Did you erase 999 Fuckmyass Rd. from the board?!"

Me: "Yes, I did. My boss told me that we don't write sales on the board until he and I approve them."

Her: "Well, don't ever do that again. I write my sales in Red on the board, because it symbolizes the blood of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Without Him, none of us would be able to sell real estate."

Me: *stunned*