Quieting the Imps in Your Brainz

wfs

(fatally)

had the urge to edit program bios such that the lists of names, awards, and such were replaced by "blah blah blah"

working retail is like an aphrodisiac for imps

^^ shit yeah. Followed closely by jobs involving customer service.

^^ wait that was fairly redundant.

"that fantasy scene in High Fidelity where they hit Tim Robbins in the face with a phone and his teeth come flying out of his mouth like candy corn"

I don't remember this movie being that cool!
For what it's worth that's a better fantasy than say opening your own record store with Jack Black.

what if you opened a record store with Jack Black and then threw records at him ninja-style?

and he caught every single one in his mouth and ate it

and then his stomach exploded and record shards intermixed with internal organs and whatever he had to eat for the last two days splashed against the storefront window?

and then he [img]http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/hititjackblackanim4os.gif[img]

dammit why no fucking bbcode warning

http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/hititjackblackanim4os.gif

all 'high fidelity' related fantasies end in violence...

All Jack Black-related fantasies end in the violent death of Jack Black. For good reason.

Isn't there scene in Wanted where the guy smacks his boss across the chops with a keyboard and the keys spell out "fuck you"?

I sometimes amuse myself by considering how painful it would be to put one's head in front of the train and cop a glancing blow.

Whenever I'm at the platform waiting for a tube I always wonder if I can successfully evaluate the point at which it's slowed down enough to not, y'know, kill me, but is still moving fast enough for a good firm wtf wakeup smack. I doubt that I could tbh.

For probably the same reason I would like to try being waterboarded.

that gif makes it look like his stomach is about to explode.

just stand close to the end of the platform imho.

or do like a run up the wall backflip as it goes by

get nutted by a door indent as the thing's pulling to a halt

sometimes i think about how easy it would be in almost any situation to suddenly do or say something -- not necessarily something violent or actually physically harmful, just very inappropriate -- that could have huge consequences. just how thin the line is. like, one moment i'm joe respectable citizen, just here looking over the display cases at a jewelry store, and the next i could just pick up a chair and throw it through the window and suddenly my life would be different.

(this has been reinforced for me by interviewing people in prison. they were just going along, living their life, until one day they decided to do maybe just one thing, and suddenly that thing -- which maybe only took a few minutes, or an hour -- defines their entire life.)

OK I'm sorry but I have to and HH I hope that you won't be mad I'm posting this because while maybe not an IMP, this is still pretty great:

[18:37] Heave Ho: i get persistent visions of people fouling their clothes
[18:38] Heave Ho: though that is prolly not what you're talking about
[18:39] Me: how do you mean?
[18:39] Heave Ho: when i'm talking to them
[18:39] Heave Ho: i imagine that they are incontinent
[18:39] ME: hahahaha ok
[18:39] ME: that's funny
[18:40] Heave Ho: mostly when i've not had a good nights sleep
[18:40] Heave Ho: gtg bye

^^^yeah you're always only one action from irreversible change, this feeling becomes especially acute when fatally fast and massive things like cars or trains are whizzing by

why, i have some scissors on my desk right now

xp

Khariq, if yr reading this, <3

btw - That exchange was completely out of the blue. Imps discussion bringing ppl out of the woodwork!

I don't reall know if that qualifies as an imp thing but I have a very common thing where I think about falling down and smashing my jaw : like walking down the street I see myself falling on the pavement, or in the bathroom I imagine slipping and my jaw smashing against the sink or whatever.
There is one urge I've had and actually indulged in : closing my eyes while driving on the highway for a few seconds at a time.

(07-07) 15:28 PDT Rising Sun, Md. (AP) --

A Delaware man faces drunken driving charges after he was pulled over for speeding in northeastern Maryland and a sheriff's deputy noticed he wasn't wearing any pants. A spokesman for the Cecil County Sheriff's Office says 41-year-old Jonathan Schultz "was driving commando."

The spokesman, Lt. Bernard Chiminto, said Schultz was stopped Saturday near Rising Sun for going 69 mph in a 50-mph zone.

The deputy smelled alcohol and noticed that Schultz was partially covered by a towel from the waist down. The Newark, Del., resident told the deputy he'd lost his pants, but the deputy didn't find any pants in the car.

I thought that "commando" referred to wearing no underwear, not wearing no pants.

There is one urge I've had and actually indulged in : closing my eyes while driving on the highway for a few seconds at a time.

I've done this while cycling. It may or may not be indirectly the cause of me very almost dying that one time and winding up with a whole bunch o' bitchin scars. LOLOLOL Ignore ur imps!

It's tough to ignore those bastards, they're loud! But yeah I usually don't do what they tell me to, except for the three or four times I did actually close my eyes. I'm pretty sure I don't really wanna die on a highway with my eyes closed.

Also, it's not really what's being talked about in this thread, but I keep having flashes of the same things. Like smashing my jaw like I said upthread. Or, when I step into a room, I often spend like a second or two thinking about a ball bouncing against all the corners of the room, checking to see if it's possible for the ball to do so.

Plz tell the imps in my brain it's too early to open the tequila.

forever quelling the urge to hit the wee x when downloads are at 99%

working retail is like an aphrodisiac for imps

― a sad little creature (latebloomer), Tuesday, July 7, 2009 6:02 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This isn't really about stopping myself from doing stuff that my mind tells me to do, but rather about this constant, involuntary chattering noise that used to be inside my head. I worked at a video store for a while and whenever I was shelving videos, my fucking brain would choose one of the vowels from the title and howl it out as an "o" like the dog from the cookie crisp commercial:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipzgLVydkMs&feature=related

So like I'd be walking around this long wall, day after day, with hundreds of movies and they'd be resounding in my head like:

Bruce AlmOOOOOOOOOOty!!!
DrOOOOOOmcatcher!!!
Lord of the ROOOOOOngs!!!
My Big Fat Greek WOOOOOOOdding!!!
SOOOOOOOOcretary!!!

Fuck! Agggggh. Jesus. I've never told anybody that.

LJ - I miss you.

Woah, I didn't even realize little guy was gone.

My mind has taken to replacing the word "crazy" with the rapper name "C-Rayz Walz". And considering that I use the word "crazy" like a 1920s jazz man... God, will ECT help with this?

i have a theory that it's impossible to have imps/earworms/any number of mental maladies while doing hard math in your head, and another theory that mathematicians are too good at math, and need successively harder problems not to go mad, and that's why they go mad so often.
maybe cure is worse than disease though?

wow kkvgz that's really c-rayz walz

c-rayz walz was no pumpkinhead

A few years back I remember it seemed like there was a mild ilx obsession with the british ASBO, or Anti Social Behavior Order, which is part of their legal system. I don't think people even talk about it much these days. But the idea of it worked it's way into my brain and began to take over, such that it sometimes creeps into my brain in the form of "ASBOlutely!" or even "Anti Social Behavior Order - lutely!"

missed your true calling as a writer of tabloid newspaper headlines imo

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/70964/TV-show-is-font-colorredAsbofontlutely-fabulous.html