"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."

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If it's sepia, that's creepy, huh?

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:22 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's khaki, your shit is wacky

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:24 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's blurred, it's a furry old turd.

― You fondle my trigger then you blame my gun / Kate (papa november), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 20:28 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's macaroni and cheese, wipe it with the trees

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:00 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's peach, drop in a leech

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:01 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's Wild Watermelon (1990), it deserves a second smellin'.

― You fondle my trigger then you blame my gun / Kate (papa november), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:02 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's canary, you'd best be wary

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:08 (nineteen years ago) link

"When the weather's hot and sticky, that's no time to dunk your dicky,
When the frost is on the pumpkin, that's the time for dicky dunking"

The man who gave me this sage advice claims he was, it is claimed, dunking his dicky in Agnetha from Abba in the late 70s. I'm not sure I believe these claims.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 21:15 (nineteen years ago) link

This is reminding me of the oh so lovely sign you see in some office ladies loos:

If you sprinkle
While you tinkle
Be a sweetie
Wipe the seatie!

God, just put a furry cover on the toilet lid and a frilly dolly cover over the spare roll and be fucking done with it already.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 8 June 2005 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

In Hebrew:

Peepee sahov -- lo tov.
Peepee lavan -- mitzuyan!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:21 (nineteen years ago) link

(Translation: Yellow peepee -- no good. Clear peepee (white peepee) -- excellent!)

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:33 (nineteen years ago) link

this is the funniest thread ever.

it's like Ken Nordine when he was 5

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:51 (nineteen years ago) link

THE LOST CO-STANZA

http://phonogram.us/images/viewpoint/george/georgeds.jpg

― [that bastard] jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:51 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's copper, fetch a stopper!
If it's golden, shut your whole, then!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Uh, sorry that should read "hole, then"

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:54 (nineteen years ago) link

I boggle at this thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 9 June 2005 01:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Si es rojo, estas loco!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 02:01 (nineteen years ago) link

if you're a Taurus, see your florist!

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Thursday, 9 June 2005 02:45 (nineteen years ago) link

Si c'est jaune, tu es Antoine de Caunes.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 9 June 2005 09:35 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's Wisteria you might have listeria.

If it's temporarily harmlessly dark and dismal,
you've been taking Pepto-Bismol.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 9 June 2005 09:43 (nineteen years ago) link

If it glows, it be worthy of prose!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 13:48 (nineteen years ago) link

If it blurps as it come, you've been getting some.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:50 (nineteen years ago) link

If nothing's a-comin', you must be a woman.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:52 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's a manatee,
are you sure it's a poo and you're not a pregnant manatee?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:55 (nineteen years ago) link

i cannot believe i haven't been on this thread yet

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Accentmonkey wins!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:00 (nineteen years ago) link

if it's semi-solid, i find it rather squalid

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:00 (nineteen years ago) link

if it's vivid violet, better change your diet.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:03 (nineteen years ago) link

if it's pink and mushy, you've been eating pussy

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:06 (nineteen years ago) link

If it took a quick glance, and back inside curled,
you'll have to admit this: it's a cold world.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:09 (nineteen years ago) link

when it's radioactive, it's really not attactive

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:10 (nineteen years ago) link

if it smells like biryani, you won't be getting any

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:12 (nineteen years ago) link

if it looks like vindaloo, maybe it's just deja vu.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:13 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's teal, reconsider your last meal.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:34 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's teal, reconsider your last meal.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...) (webmail), June 8th, 2005 8:40 AM. (later)

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

IT'S THE CHORUS!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's lavender, get new provender

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's navy, quit eating babies.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's teal, you've broken a seal

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

IT'S THE CHORUS!

Someone should totally set this thread to music. Billy Bragg, I think.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

If it glimmers, flush those swimmers

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:40 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's the colour of money, don't try to spend it, honey.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's cherry, dysentery!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's speckled, you'll be heckled.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

If it bleeds, it breeds.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

SO WRONG!!!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

If it makes you shudder, call your Mudder

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

You guys are, like, the grand wizards of rhyming poop jokes. Whoda thunk it?

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's quince, you're bound to wince

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's Granny Smith Apple, what a crapple!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:46 (nineteen years ago) link

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"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." - The Lost Stanzas