I don't even know what several of these are. A less dire list than previous years, if not by much.Black Panther 2 probably not happening this year given that filming hasn't completed and afaik Letitia Wright is still overseas and still an antivaxxer.
― Rep. Cobra Commander (R-TX) (Old Lunch), Monday, 3 January 2022 20:28 (two years ago) link
lol did i read something about the new one featuring a remorseful leatherface trying to live a normal life?
― roflrofl fight (voodoo chili), Monday, 3 January 2022 20:28 (two years ago) link
the new chainsaw, obv, not the new black panther, tho i guess the idea would be much more interesting in that movie!
― roflrofl fight (voodoo chili), Monday, 3 January 2022 20:29 (two years ago) link
No reason to be hopeful about another new Chainsaw, but last two installments of Halloween make me even less hopeful about this third nu-Halloween.
Another poll could be about how many of these actually hit their release dates.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 3 January 2022 20:33 (two years ago) link
The Jurassic franchise has been coasting on endless CGI dinosaurs threatening to eat people long enough.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Monday, 3 January 2022 21:02 (two years ago) link
glad this is becoming a yearly tradition
related article:
https://jacobinmag.com/2021/12/disney-mass-culture-commodification-tv-movie-franchises
― chaos goblin line cook (sleeve), Monday, 3 January 2022 21:07 (two years ago) link
We can all agree that the Jackass movie is the most promising though, right?
― jpg trouble in wallo gina (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 3 January 2022 21:45 (two years ago) link
The only ones I want to see are Jackass and Mission Impossible.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Monday, 3 January 2022 21:59 (two years ago) link
i think (desperately hope?) there's a chance the new scream will be good
― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Monday, 3 January 2022 22:06 (two years ago) link
Scream's kind of hard to fuck up at this point. If you're in, you're in. If you were never sold on it, then this probably won't get you there.
― Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Monday, 3 January 2022 22:13 (two years ago) link
idk what that means. beyond it being a scream sequel i think it's worth looking forward to bc it's radio silence's follow-up to ready or not
― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Monday, 3 January 2022 22:21 (two years ago) link
nu-Halloween films are stupid but entirely entertaining, I give them a pass.
There are a lot of likely terrible movies in this list. Are we really still making Ice Age and Minions movies in 2022?
― akm, Monday, 3 January 2022 22:39 (two years ago) link
"DC League of Super-Pets" I hope this is a dark reboot ala Joker
skeptical that the new thor is gonna be as good as the last one, but hey, i guess that's my most anticipated
― roflrofl fight (voodoo chili), Monday, 3 January 2022 22:45 (two years ago) link
I’m in on Jackass and curious on Scream and Mission Impossible. Doubt I’ll see anything else on this list.
― papal hotwife (milo z), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 00:28 (two years ago) link
I couldn't believe just how bad Branagh's Orient Express remake was, don't hold out much hope of him turning it around w Death on the Nile
― Ward Fowler, Tuesday, 4 January 2022 00:30 (two years ago) link
I'm all-in on Jackass, Thor, maybe Mission, probably Spider-verse. I think Creed III is Michael B. Jordon's directorial debut.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 4 January 2022 00:39 (two years ago) link
God, why don't they just start putting these movies' release dates into the title?Would make the thread especially fun given how many of these were due out in 2020 and 2021.
― dark end of the st. maud (sic), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 00:39 (two years ago) link
Write in for the matrix which was released close enough to count, especially given how awful everything about it looked from the trailers
― pandmac (darraghmac), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 00:46 (two years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Sunday, 16 January 2022 00:01 (two years ago) link
i thought there was already a Flash movie? the poster is Flash blowing a bubble with bubble gum? did i dream this?
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 16 January 2022 01:08 (two years ago) link
you are thinking perhaps of the epic cinematic masterpiece Shazam
https://rlv.zcache.com/shazam_shazam_blowing_bubble_gum_poster-rd316f2ae891d4fa1a55583a7523b0715_wv4_8byvr_540.jpg
― cowboy bopeep (cat), Sunday, 16 January 2022 03:01 (two years ago) link
idk I wouldn’t normally associate that title with misremembered, possibly imagined films
― Nerd Ragequit (wins), Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:19 (two years ago) link
ahhh Shazam of course. the movie wasn’t bad iirc!
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:33 (two years ago) link
lightyear feels the most offensive i think
― ciderpress, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:36 (two years ago) link
Yeah, Shazam was pretty good. (And has a sequel out next year of course)
― groovypanda, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:38 (two years ago) link
Can't imagine Death on the Nile or the new Fantastic Beasts being anything but awful and surely Top Gun will be a contender.
― groovypanda, Sunday, 16 January 2022 13:40 (two years ago) link
Lots of worn out dreck here, but The Batman stands out as almost sadistic in trying to beat some more juice out of the horse paste
― rob, Sunday, 16 January 2022 15:40 (two years ago) link
Though maintaining Harry Potter/JK's public prominence is fairly evil too
― rob, Sunday, 16 January 2022 15:42 (two years ago) link
Disappointed to discover DC League of Super Pets is an animation
― Khafre's clown (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 16 January 2022 18:02 (two years ago) link
The Top Gun is a McQuarrie joint, so almost certainly a competent entertainment. (Also presumably blatant propaganda, due to being a Top Gun, but that doesn’t necessarily negate the former.)Lightyear seems the most painfully crass of these, in the way that most decades-later origin stories by different authors degrade both themselves and the original. But perhaps a little more so, inasmuch as the structure of the first couple Toy Stories actively encouraged kids to create their own backstories through play.
― dark end of the st. maud (sic), Sunday, 16 January 2022 18:26 (two years ago) link
Top gun, the batman both look good good not 'in the circumstances' good
― Ár an broc a mhic (darraghmac), Sunday, 16 January 2022 19:19 (two years ago) link
Avatar 2 seems like the most predictable of all these. It will be a visual spectacle. It will be bland as hell with characters so insubstantial you must be reminded who they are in every line of dialogue. The story will have a moral which will squat on you as heavily as the knowledge of your own death to come. Good times!
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Sunday, 16 January 2022 19:35 (two years ago) link
The JK Rowling stuff needs to die but also seems pretty weird to do black panther 2 with no boseman
― salsa shark, Sunday, 16 January 2022 20:22 (two years ago) link
i hear they fucked up scream
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 16 January 2022 20:31 (two years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Monday, 17 January 2022 00:01 (two years ago) link
They let Trevorrow write and direct another JP movie. lol.
I couldn't believe just how bad Branagh's Orient Express remake was, don't hold out much hope of him turning it around w Death on the Nile― Ward Fowler
― Ward Fowler
I watched 10 minutes of it and could barely believe how bad it was.
― adam t. (abanana), Monday, 17 January 2022 16:44 (two years ago) link
missed this thread. the right pick won, though obviously a great many of these look very bad indeed, especially "Lightyear." the Fantastic Beasts series really has become the ultimate avatar of pointless franchise universe extensions, replacing the Star Wars prequels and Hobbit films for utter superfluity, exhausting bigness, and missing-the-pointness with regard to what people liked about the thing originally.
i feel like this list is WORSE than usual, probably because of the buildup of unreleased dreck from 2020 and 2021. Across the Spider-Verse and Black Panther 2 are the only ones where i'd be surprised if they weren't good or great. Thor, Aquaman, and Dr. Strange all have at least the potential to be entertaining, and entertainingly silly, if viewed in the right mood, assuming the filmmakers don't blow it. and i'm told the Mission Impossible movies are really great, so probably this one will be okay.
i may be alone in actually wanting to see Death on the Nile --- the previous Branagh/Poirot flick made a perfectly pleasant noontime viewing in a cozy theater on a very slushy day. the trailer's pumped-up intensity hasn't exactly gotten me excited, but i'm hoping it's actually another easygoing little movie, and that the trailer people just don't know what to do with that.
― I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Monday, 17 January 2022 17:42 (two years ago) link
of this list, i will likely see thor and jackass
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 January 2022 20:50 (two years ago) link
Ahem
#TheBatman runtime has finally been revealed: 2 hours and 47 minutes, without credits. https://t.co/NWjoFtVFgr pic.twitter.com/XpsGmkvkNL— Variety (@Variety) January 20, 2022
― in the time of NFTs I bought a monkey (rob), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:35 (two years ago) link
I really hoped Endgame was going to kind of be the peak of this bloated runtime thing, but it's only getting worse. There was no reason the new Bond flick needed to be 163 minutes long (especially considering they still only managed to carve out 5 minutes for Ana de Armas).
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:38 (two years ago) link
yeah I'm not one of those <all movies should be 90 mins> people, but the combined total of live-action Batman movie minutes is an indictment of the human species
― in the time of NFTs I bought a monkey (rob), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:45 (two years ago) link
Hollywood's creative well has run drier than Death Valley.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 20 January 2022 21:54 (two years ago) link
kinda wild that there will be no credits in the new batman movie
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 05:05 (two years ago) link
seriously though, i am hard pressed to imagine needing to ever see another batman movie ever again
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Friday, 21 January 2022 05:06 (two years ago) link
well okay, i could see rewatching the burton ones at some point
new one has the penguin and catwoman again
― adam t. (abanana), Friday, 21 January 2022 05:17 (two years ago) link
Before The Souvenir Part II (speaking of sequels), I saw the trailer for Death on the Nile. Branagh has clearly NOT toned down what I hated about his Poirot the last time around. Although I might watch it as an exercise in 1930s styling.
Also, there was a trailer for Cyrano, the latest remake of you-know-what, retooled as a vehicle for Peter Dinklage. Is this supposed to be a full-out musical?
― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Sunday, 23 January 2022 01:02 (two years ago) link
i think so, but the trailer seemed almost unwilling to commit to that.
― I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 23 January 2022 01:12 (two years ago) link
Maybe the new Batman movie is that long because it finally shows how he became Batman.
― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 23 January 2022 01:24 (two years ago) link
five bags of popcorn
― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson), Monday, 31 January 2022 00:30 (two years ago) link
I’m gonna give it five bags of popcorn and a jumbo cup of soda because Jesus was probably thirsty after not having any soda for three whole days
― nobody like my rap (One Eye Open), Monday, 31 January 2022 02:47 (two years ago) link
Scream were actually pretty enjoyable. not scary at all, but the humor much less eye-rolly than 4.
― sorry Mario, but our princess is in another butthole (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 02:07 (two years ago) link
Having watched it, I'd say Top Gun Maverick is now in my most promising list.
turns out that real people doing stunts in the real world and a good story is a refreshing change from two computer generated characters ending the film with a punch up.
which is how 85% of the films listed will end.
also maybe Downton Abbey, I havent seen that so cant confirm...
― my opinionation (Hamildan), Friday, 27 May 2022 14:03 (two years ago) link
Was wondering if we had a Top Gun thread but yeah I thought this new one was great. The last half hour was thrilling, very Mission Impossible
― Vinnie, Friday, 27 May 2022 15:29 (two years ago) link
ILX was way ahead of the curve.
https://kotaku.com/morbius-memes-twitch-movie-morbing-time-nintendo-switch-1848987370
― jmm, Saturday, 28 May 2022 01:07 (two years ago) link
Walter Chaw makes a decent case for the new TG: https://www.filmfreakcentral.net/ffc/2022/05/top-gun-maverick.html
(still a tough sell for me, I admit; the original may be my very least favorite of the big 80s blockbusters)
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Sunday, 29 May 2022 16:46 (two years ago) link
is this where we are talking about tom gun: cruise control starring my favorite action star tom gun
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, 15 June 2022 13:47 (two years ago) link
anyway, maverick: totally fine! really thrilling sports movie where the sport is murdering people for the government in a big fast plane. pretty much nothing gay about it except for the brief instances where cruise mourns his long-departed life partner goose, but at least true to form the straight romantic scenes are hilariously parodic and boring. (love connelly though, her presence in any movie is... comforting(?) to me. need to bring this up to my therapist.) and nowhere near as beautiful and palatial as the first but it functions much better as a blockbuster
it is also awful evil propaganda and that only really settled in when they're celebrating their kills at the end :) i like a lot of reagan-era "the cities are swarming with drug-addicted mutants and the only person who can save you is a cop who doesn't play by the rules and his enormous gun" conservative propaganda (and of course i also love the cia propaganda franchise also starring my beloved tom gun) that feels like it transpires in a hilarious fantasy universe only vaguely attached to ours, but i can perceive the real world consequences of the collected tom guns a lot more when i actually watch them. i already know i would hate to fly a really fast plane with a gun attached to it, but i will say it made flying a really fast plane seem so attractive, aside from all the scenes of people's faces bending backward because of the all of the fuckin gs they're absorbing (which made me think... oh, this is technology morphing the human body into new shapes... and my brain autospliced the opening airplane hangar scene from cronenberg's crash into the film)
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, 15 June 2022 13:59 (two years ago) link
When you got movies like Tom Cruise in them, you can't lose
― rare lipstick or mohawks that somehow make them more valuable (President Keyes), Wednesday, 15 June 2022 14:24 (two years ago) link
tom gun drops to his knees to make out with the zip in ice kilmer's stomach, tony scott returns from the dead to light the strands of saliva between tongue cruise and val's cancer
― Vance Vance Devolution (sic), Wednesday, 15 June 2022 14:55 (two years ago) link
excellent review Brad!
i also enjoyed it more than I expected... it's very well constructed as a war-sport-mission-popcorn movie. agreed that the romance doesn't quite sing, but those scenes still has more in them for me than all the stuff with the generic new recruits. although i guess it worked for some --- when the shithead guy steps up and does something useful, a mild round of applause went up from somewhere in the auditorium. my partner whispered to me, baffled: "who's a fan of Hangman?!
but the real step down from the original was aesthetic... Scott and the score gave it this amazing hazy overpowering quality that's really been smoothed out here.
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 15 June 2022 16:49 (two years ago) link
also i couldn't get past how stupid their mission was. really? there's no other way to do this? what if you sent in, idk, a slightly higher number of planes. oh right, only the enemy has the super advanced unstoppable Fifth Generation Fighters. clearly we've starved the Pentagon for too long.
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 15 June 2022 16:51 (two years ago) link
put me down as someone for whom the new recruits worked, but that's prob because they're like the crew of a slasher film, all paper-thin archetypes
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, 15 June 2022 18:45 (two years ago) link
I kept thinking of the Futurama line about "a dedicated young man, with no characteristics."
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 15 June 2022 19:09 (two years ago) link
lol
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Wednesday, 15 June 2022 19:12 (two years ago) link
this could easily become "most promising" if they do the right thing and cast danny devito as the title character
A live-action film is in development based on the classic arcade game with an endless appetite, #PacMan https://t.co/Z6nBd7qgmD pic.twitter.com/aG98LUtTym— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) August 8, 2022
― in places all over the world, real stuff be happening (voodoo chili), Monday, 8 August 2022 19:27 (two years ago) link
predator 5 best predator
― Vance Vance Devolution (sic), Monday, 8 August 2022 19:34 (two years ago) link
Y’all have almost convinced me to watch it.
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Monday, 8 August 2022 20:33 (two years ago) link
All the manbabies on Twitter whining about the ending has convinced me to watch it.
― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Monday, 8 August 2022 20:40 (two years ago) link
I thought Prey was...well, I didn't much like the original Predator to begin with (never saw any of the other sequels). Liked the girl, liked the dog, liked the setting, but I found a lot of the action hard to follow, to the extent that I had to rewind a couple of scenes to be sure what was going on. I'm happy that people are happy, though.
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Friday, 19 August 2022 17:02 (two years ago) link
it definitely feels like it's being overrated just for not being bad. it isn't bad, but it isn't particularly good either. acting was fine, the effects were pretty good, i didn't have a problem with the action, but there was nothing in particular in it that excited me or seemed especially interesting.
― na (NA), Friday, 19 August 2022 17:15 (two years ago) link
i do agree that i enjoyed it more than the o.g. Predator, which i rewatched recently and is a very unpleasant movie
― na (NA), Friday, 19 August 2022 17:16 (two years ago) link
the animal disembowelment in Prey i found extremely unpleasant. was going to watch it with the boys but the 10 yo loves animals of all kinds and i think would be pretty upset by it
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 19 August 2022 18:40 (two years ago) link
that said it looks absolutely amazing on a good tv (brag brag)
Today in S/R/F news…
"Disney+ added that the new series, TWO GIANT GORILLAS FUCKING, will most likely reside behind the age-restriction barriers on the streaming service." https://t.co/oX3GVdcnIx— DrewMcWeeny (@DrewMcWeeny) August 23, 2022
― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 23 August 2022 23:30 (two years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imn_gHwvUmc
"fletch, confess" with jon hamm as fletch
preview is promising? feels like they're trying to cash in on "knives out" kinda but a few lines made me chuckle
― na (NA), Thursday, 25 August 2022 19:34 (two years ago) link
sorry "confess, fletch"
I...kinda want to see that.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Thursday, 25 August 2022 19:41 (two years ago) link
The novel (and the whole Fletch series) are drier and smarter than the Chevy Chase movie suggests. And solid plots. Hamm seems like a great choice.
― The self-titled drags (Eazy), Thursday, 25 August 2022 22:14 (two years ago) link
I read three or four of the novels as a teenager, around the time the movie came out. They were good; I wonder if they'd stand up now.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Thursday, 25 August 2022 22:29 (two years ago) link
I seen Confess, Fletch this week and it was dreadful. Enough very good or competent people involved to wonder why it fell so flat.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 26 November 2022 20:06 (one year ago) link
i thought it was pretty ok! i lol’d throughout, maybe too loudly on the plane. i will not remember a thing about it by tomorrow
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Saturday, 26 November 2022 20:54 (one year ago) link
The actual mystery plot itself was fine but 98% of the jokes just died horribly. It wasn't even that they were terrible jokes but something about the delivery felt really off. One of the worst films I've seen in a while.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 26 November 2022 21:00 (one year ago) link
Not gonna go to bat very hard for it but my experience was more like Brad's: amusing and diverting enough, and I lolled several times. I'd watch another sequel, though I have doubts this was successful enough to make another
― Vinnie, Saturday, 26 November 2022 22:30 (one year ago) link
loved the rookie detective getting constantly outfletched by fletch
― flamenco drop (BradNelson), Saturday, 26 November 2022 22:36 (one year ago) link
Not as good as a Fletch book, but a good modern adaptation of a Fletch book. Would happily watch two a year.
― Vance Vance Devolution (sic), Saturday, 26 November 2022 22:55 (one year ago) link