marketing of masculinity

a Swanson heir private school educated coastal fop making 10 mil a year to tell the decent folk in the heartland that masculinity is on the endangered list is just the absolute funniest shit to me

That's not real, is it?

which thing? because holy shit, i'll believe pretty much anything these days

The ball tanning? It even has a rad name: "bromeopathic therapy"

Putting the 'bro' back in bromeopathy

The promo clip. That's gotta be fake.

No, pretty sure it's real

One of my friends got his taint scrubbed at a Korean spa. He still talks about it.

dudes rock

yeah, that's a real clip. that's the most watched tv news guy. it's fucking crazy. there are all these people out there who watch this guy who tells them to tan their balls

Well, Trump likes to rock some "YMCA" out on the stump, this is just a campier extension of that vibe

A manly ship, full of manly men

Maybe hovering your balls over a heating element until they're the color and texture of an NFL football feels good! There's only one way to know for sure. (You first.)

Shailene Woodley already trademarked genital tanning, dude’s just a copycat.

yeah this exposing your genitals to the sun or w/e is pretty old now, all the women’s “health” weirdos went through it and I would guess it’s now trickled through the yoga men and athletes married to “health” people to the beard oil set all the way to the macho gun men set and now to the boring conservative assholes

the journey of a raindrop, of tanning your balls

xp the GOOP to GOP pipeline

Freikörperkultur

Not intrinsically fascist, but a fellow traveler for a long time.

i cannot speak 4 ballz but one thing i will state with absolute conviction is that sunning yr gooch feels 1000% nice, loathsome preppy fartsniffing grifter otm

naturism / nudism was a good idea, gotta hand it to em ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah but the sun is 100% free, I'm sure Tucks is somehow profiting off the red light balls ray

Good piece by Jared Yates Sexton about Tucker, ball-sunning, and the larger issues.

just a thought, but i can't imagine the sun (and air) being 100% free for much longer. i'm not sure how it's lasted this long without someone or something systematically taking a cut

this is why we have to solar charge our genitals now, while there’s still time!

i didn't even think about that

i am going to cut out the middle man of Big Ball Tans and just press my genitalia up against the south-facing window

Bronze your balls with this one weird trick

i imagine tanning the balls and then testing for testosterone, shortly afterward

a muffled "fuck YEAH!" is heard from a bathroom down the hall

i think i might have the boys over this weekend and tan our balls together, watch some jack reacher

Paint your asses blue and watch Vikings

Just clicked on this thread so sorry so late but, legit lol at:

the GOOP to GOP pipeline

― papal hotwife (milo z), Monday, April 18, 2022 11:59 PM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

there’s a bizarre pipeline from “this seems vaguely forbidden but it feels good!” to “this is knowledge made esoteric by the establishment” that is tiresome

like idk dudes maybe there are reasons. sun your region if you want, just don’t get skin cancer. kind of wish a lot of them would get into auto-erotic asphyxiation to own the libs and be bad at it

to own the conservatives, i will keep my balls cold, shriveled, and damp, hidden away from the light. those are the traditional values for me

I’m certainly not going to ask, but I do wonder what goes through the brains of my parents when they watch this insane shit. They were always super conservative, but at least in the 80s-90s they could at least recognize that 98% of televangelists were con artists (carve-out for the unimpeachable Billy Graham, which tbh might have been the greatest grifts of all). And to me this is just an updated, (somewhat) secularized, and admittedly a much better produced media experience. I’m guessing 25 years of the Fox brain liquifier and advanced age has made them much softer targets.

not that my 73 yo dad is going to tan his balls, but they probably don’t blink and perhaps even nod along gravely when this horseshit come blaring out of the teevee screen

It's just another manifestation of the hardening of tribal divisions. Liberals and conservatives both use insider language. Media opportunists like Tucker Carlson happily elect themselves as the interpreters to the conservative tribe of what liberals mean when they say things like "testosterone poisoning" or "white privilege", which always happens to be the most scurrilous possible interpretation, like "all men are craven criminals" or "they thirst to drink the blood of white people".

Many conservatives have gotten the impression that liberals believe there is something faintly disreputable about being white, cis, straight, and male. The more of those boxes you check, the more you are expected to "check your privilege". Whether true or not, that makes it pretty easy to score points by unapologetically embracing those attributes.

It's well past the point of "they think I'm faintly disreputable for being a straight white man and I resent that". Much of the rhetoric now is that liberals are pure evil, servants of Satan, lying serpents who want to turn us all into slaves of the state and practice perversions on our children.

Well, there's probably a larger segment that agrees with the first statement and a smaller segment that agrees with the second. Trump was a master of dropping enough hints to keep the fringe fired up but not enough to offend the moderates whose votes he needed to keep.

Trump was a master of dropping enough hints to keep the fringe fired up but not enough to offend the moderates whose votes he needed to keep.

Considering the popular vote margins by which he lost, I don't think this is true.

Well, 47% of the popular vote is still a lot of moderates, I would submit. There aren't that many wackos, even in the US.

I would say the majority of people who voted for him just kind of shrugged or wrote off the more absurd things

Winning elections is more about reminding consistent votes to show up, and getting as many types of people who don't regularly vote fired up about something to get them to the polls. The former group just ignores a fair amount of those theatrics, or justifies their vote because they're loyal to a party

There's a Christian conference "for men" in Missouri and it's just as cringe as you'd imagine. Tickets for the "Stronger Men's Conference" are $119 and Josh Hawley is one of the guest speakers. pic.twitter.com/VtQCUCo3e5

— Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2) April 30, 2022

righteous gemstones is real

that show is a documentary with dramatization

Is Josh Hawley driving the truck?

and more importantly, where can i take a free test to check to see if i could benefit from genital enhancement?

― Karl Malone

karl i have an answer for you but it may perhaps not be the answer you were looking for

So Karl... how was the conference?

new vanguard for the intersection of masculinity and profit: limb lengthening surgery

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/elaminabdelmahmoud/limb-lengthening-surgery-height-stigma-short-kings

https://i.imgur.com/Oo9PMhB.jpg

(somehow, tucker carlson only comes up as the 14th result in my google image search for "tan balls". more proof that google image search is a sad shadow of what it once was)

however, i guess it did lead me to My Tanned Balls University?

https://i.imgur.com/I6FqSlH.png

shoutout to the class of '92! i bet they have a lot to talk about at the reunions. "so, todd, i hate to ask the obvious question, but...how are those balls??"