Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

I agree that letting someone know you are there is polite and not p-a

I went through something similar yesterday when I was sitting there, minding my own business, when two co-workers started to loudly talk about some staff changes and marketing strategies basically right in my ear.

But I was pretty much stuck since Hormel dinner and morning coffee were taking their toll on me.

having a co-worker scapegoat the rest of my dept to our superior by saying that we haven't given him all the data he needs = fuck u liar, watch me fwd this 3-wk old email in which you were asked if you had everything you needed to finish the gd project -- which you never bothered to respond to

I mean if I am taking a personal call someplace I think is empty, I would 100% appreciate anyone in the area doing a polite little throat-clear or chair-shift to let me know I am not alone

I think it wld be appropriate to play Michael Jackson's "You are Not Alone."

familiar behavior from this guy -- totally maddening

<3 abbott

addendum to Abbott's suggestion: walk in slow motion toward the offending person while the song is playing

some of you will be glad to know that just now, as it's getting late and a bit empty in the office and there didn't seem to be anyone around, I started listening to music very quietly, and after about forty-five seconds I heard a slight cough from an office across the way, and then shortly after that I turned the music off.

We have an espresso machine in our breakroom. Now, I know making espresso cofee can be tricky, but with this machine you srsly cannot go wrong - it has 3 buttons for 3 levels/sizes of coffee to pour out. Thats it.

The *sysadmin* of all people stood in front of it and whined that he didn't know how to use it to make a coffee. OK, somewhat fair - the levels buttons arent obvious and theres 3 other buttons that do the milk froth and such. So that was explained to him.

So he pours a large into his mug. Then he stares at it, and says "now what do I do?"

I mean, WTF? Drink it maybe, you A-grade ditz?

He was honestly saying shit like "why is there hardly any in here?" and "what do I do now, put milk in?", it was like he'd never had a coffee before in his life.

he pours a large and then complains that there's hardly any in there? how big is his fucken mug??

A "large" espresso is a small cup o' Joe. I think I had the same reaction on my first espresso.

Well TBF it was a rlly big coffee mug, and being an espresso machine even a large is still only about 1/3 of the total volume. Tried to explain to him that thats normal, and lattes usually have the rest as just milk, he still looked at me like I was speaking martian.

And haitch you shuld know this things ;P

try speaking to him in perl next time

I suspect that might be all he understands.

oh god i've never made a proper coffee in my life, i leave that to the experts! working in carlton spoils you a bit, it must be said.

Haven't you ever watched a barista do his thang, though? Maybe I'm just curious, being a cookery type.

oh i have a look but it goes in one eye and out the... hang on i've picked the wrong analogy. i just watch as an admirer rather than take mental notes!

Now I want a coffee :(

i could do with a tea actually.

haha just had a look up at my long-ago moaning at the old job. everyone here is lovely, nothing to complain about really!

He was honestly saying shit like "why is there hardly any in here?" and "what do I do now, put milk in?", it was like he'd never had a coffee before in his life.

― seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Monday, August 3, 2009 10:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i would probably be saying the same thing but then ive never had a coffee before

The *sysadmin* of all people stood in front of it and whined that he didn't know how to use it to make a coffee. OK, somewhat fair - the levels buttons arent obvious and theres 3 other buttons that do the milk froth and such. So that was explained to him.

Awwwwww. (I completely know what this feels like. It's like the more servers you configure or whatever the more it pushes basic consumer electronics knowledge out of your head.)

i would probably be saying the same thing but then ive never had a coffee before

― Hillary had Everest in his veins (sunny successor), Tuesday, August 4, 2009 8:47 AM Bookmark

Sunny one time offered to pour me a coffee. It was a very thoughtful gesture on her part since she hates coffee, the smell of it and everything.

She's in the kitchen for awhile and finally says, "Does it always take this long to pour out?" I don't know what she's talking about. "Does it have to drip like this into the mug?"

Turns out, she wasn't pushing the button on the lid down with her thumb, the button that acts as a stopper for the pitcher. I would have laughed in her face had the whole gesture not been such a genuine one.

"Opposable thumbs are a signature feature of the primate family, and played a large role in the ancient humans inventing and using tools."

Nice work with the quotes. Wouldn't want to think that you were trying to pass that off as your own.

he's not really annoying, maybe not stupid, but there's this gloomy eeyore type who's been here for several months stalking sullenly around the office, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else, refusing eye contact. i came upon him the other day leaning against a wall in the hallway, staring angrily at closed door (which is a now-empty office being used as storage.) he's kind of creeping me out, tbh.

If she asks me if I would like a slice of an apple one more time I am going to take the apple slices and shove them down her happy little throat.

If you share an office space with another person, and you are going to use the phone in said shared office space to make a personal phone call, at least try not to talk AT THE TOP OF YOUR FUCKING VOICE. alskdjfa;lksdjf;alksdjfal;ksdjf

i used to have that once. what i did is called her extension a few times while she was on the phone - when it went to voicemail i'd hang up after a second. when she'd get off the phone and notice she'd had a few hang-ups she'd get all worried that she'd missed an important call. after a few times the 30 minute calls with her mother/sister stopped! :D
the calls didn't actually bother me - i just thought it was funny.

She only uses her outside voice on calls to certain family members, so in addition to being distracted by her yelling into the phone, I also get a heaping helping of unintentional TMI. She's generally very aware of the drawbacks of shared space, and thus normally very considerate, but she just has this one blind (perhaps deaf) spot that drives me crazy, because I can't work when somebody is yelling about a newphew's potty training progress eight feet away from me.

Maybe those family members yell at her over the phone, or that newphew is in the background banging pot lids together or something. Still, you are totally right, and ew.

Jenny you should start making comments about whatever she's telling her mother, sotto voce, and if she stops and says "excuse me? this is private" you can act all suprised and say "o rly cos your loud rambling suggested otherwise".

"Z-Pack? Antibiotics? You should NOT take that, it's going to destroy your immune system. When I was twelve, I had a terrible overwhelming flu that left me bedridden for a week. I refused to take medicine, because I don't trust it. Because of that, my body produces such powerful antibodies that I've never been sick since."

girl who says "evidently" and "literally" all the time and loves Harry Potter and Twilight. Getting on my nerves a bit.

also she has thousands of stories of situations she has been in where someone has acted insanely mean, aggressive, unreasonable, duplicitious towards her that always leave me thinking that she's left out the bit where she was a total prick thus bringing about said treatment.

Woman has been covering for someone who's on leave and has phoned up several times every day this week saying "SINCE you haven't put this data in the shared folder like you were meant to, please spend the next 15 minutes trying to look things up while still holding the phone and listening to me babble, and then read them out to me" and then wondering why I haven't managed to do the other tasks she's set for me.

So I was idly wondering how come the guy on leave got his job done without phoning me ever, and whaddyaknow, I have put all the data on the shared drive! In a fairly obvious location! It's just I'd been slack about putting something else up there so I just assumed she was right and didn't tell her to go and look ;_;

someone added "tigger and pooh friendly tails" and "eminem: the way i am" to my amazon shopping cart

Definitely you before unexplained and unnoticed blackout.

"isn't it ironic that america's supposed to be the land of the free, but europe has so much more freedom than us? I blame the puritans."
"I definitely wouldn't want to live in England though. They have so many rules. They probably have a rule against breathing."

That was the same person saying both those things?

yep.

Thinking of petitioning MPs to instate a law that non-technical staff replying to a long technical explanation with "well I don't see why you can't just do it anyway", and then saying it AGAIN when one of the many reasons why not is repeated in different terms, should be dismissed on the spot.

Also, thanks for appointing a 20-year-old kid who doesn't know any programming languages to a programming role on the same salary as me, and then talking him up as being about to turn any minute into the great messiah of the project. Motivational!

Fuck. Really fucking had it.

should be dismissed on the spot.

I was hoping that sentence was going to end "should be hung drawn and quartered", but then I was working in IT support in what feels now like the middle ages.

20-year-old kid

...will fuck up big style shortly, given enough rope, etc..

Sounds like an equal opportunity case, r spacecadet.

the great messiah of the project

Meaning that he'll be crucified for everyone else's sins?

> Also, thanks for appointing a 20-year-old kid who doesn't know any programming languages to a programming role on the same salary as me

does he have the same surname as the boss?

Workmate at the next desk is playing a John Mayer cover of "Free Falling"

>_<

Kill me pls.

An email made the rounds today whining about how there were spiderwebs outside the window and someone needed to "take care of them" IMMEDIATELY because they were "scary". The people participating in this email discussion were serious.