Trans Politics, Trans Activism, also 'rolling is this transphobic?' thread

Cosigned

yoffe has a long history of defending accused rapists (https://jezebel.com/emily-yoffe-is-back-on-her-bullshit-heres-what-an-alleg-1837679900) so it's no surprise she's now working for weiss's propaganda rag

the kid's mom is now in her replies, and still absolutely refusing to hear what her child is saying. all this is just extremely sad and heartbreaking.

when I was 16, all I worried about was passing classes and not screwing up badly in choir class. this poor child has spent the entire day trying to refute a transphobic ABOUT them that was written without their consent or input. amidst people shouting transphobia at them, including their own mother.

just heartbreaking, but Alex and their supporters are very inspiring with how they pushed back on this today.

will never understand why a parent would intentionally hurt their child like this. I don't mean that in the naive sense - lots of parents of trans children do it daily. but in the "why are you doing this, please stop!" sense.

it’s harrowing

Jezebel's got it!

https://jezebel.com/gender-fluid-teen-pushes-back-against-false-viral-story-1850301057?

will never understand why a parent would intentionally hurt their child like this. I don't mean that in the naive sense - lots of parents of trans children do it daily. but in the "why are you doing this, please stop!" sense.

― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal)

one of the things that's most shocking to me about, not just being in trans community, but about the last year in particular, is how many parents just plain _do not love_ their children. it really is this universal assumption that everybody has and there's a lot of pressure, really, for parents to claim that this is the case. but when you actually talk to people about their parents, not just trans people but people in general, a lot of times it just doesn't hold up.

and i think you see this in its most extreme form when you look at parents of trans people, not just, i mean, parents who call their kids "groomers"... if you love your child, you don't call them a fucking "groomer". that shocked me when i first heard about it, that anybody would do that to their own child, but it's commonplace now. or, you know, i've had friends, their parents tell them they belong in death camps.

but it really isn't just that, we see some of the most extreme manifestations of it. and the truth is a lot of it is, with parenthood there's no real standard, no reciprocal expectation. in christianity, you know, the standard is that children who disobey their parents should be put to death, but there's just no concept of something like "parental abuse", the same way the christian bible condemns to death "men who wear women's clothing" but actively condones sexual assault.

my feeling is that... you know, it's just like with trump, there's a sense of both aberration and culmination. normative, acceptable behavior is fucked up and has been for a long time. it's normal and common for parents to abuse their children and for them to not be held accountable for it in any meaningful way. and parents are so oblivious that... one of the things that really opened my eyes to how endemic this is, there's this great series by issendai, "down the rabbit hole". and i don't... i don't even use the word "narcissist" but it's pretty normal for certain parents, including one of mine, to display behavior that... correlates pretty strongly with traits generally associated with narcissism.

anyway here's the link to "down the rabbit hole".

https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/index.html

woke up to this whole manufactured brouhaha this morning, WTF??

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/kid-rock-bud-light-woke-trans-protest-dylan-mulvaney-1234709445/

hey not to turn this too much from specifically trans issues, but as someone whose parents would say they loved me but consistently threw me to the wolves, this has been something i've been thinking about and noticing for a long time. i'll just say that family is cover for incredible amounts of inflicted pain, more than most people either realize or would care to admit to.

xp to kate, that's a fantastic post that gets to some of the most common dymanics between parents and children and some of the cultural and historical reasons for them. if you've experienced it yourself and you start seeing enough of it all around you, you might start to relate to polemics about the nuclear family like this one: https://www.versobooks.com/products/2890-abolish-the-family. or dj sprinkles / terre thaemlitz who has written some similar things.

the kid's mom is now in her replies, and still absolutely refusing to hear what her child is saying. all this is just extremely sad and heartbreaking.

― Roz, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 bookmarkflaglink

Really jaw dropping.

xp again to Kate, that link is ... *phew*.. too much for me right now, but it might be really valuable for me at a later time. thanks for sharing.

Can’t find a YouTube link for this song, maybe a little relevant to the most recent discussion of family

https://open.spotify.com/track/0v0OLQRwhWZt0xRXR3up74?si=i2_33texQHSZzIKDgRiXaQ

It's really easy to clown on Kid Rock and all the other snowflake righties on their reaction to the Bud Light cans, but I'm not going to lie and say the implicit threat of violence directly towards trans people in that video doesn't frighten me.

there's not much to laugh about. it's all terrifying.

<3 to Eliza and rushomancy

I hope Spuds McKenzie is safe

i mean there's so much to despair all over but it just sucks so much that so much of america is processing trans rights through the lens of youth sports, which is such a fucked up and stupid culture in itself

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/kansas-lawmakers-poised-override-veto-trans-athletes-98384354

guessing the US is going to have more refugees leaving the country than entering it this year

So weird that all of a sudden society is supposed to structure itself around, uh, (checks notes) the integrity of competitive swimming.

Which would make sense if any significant portion of civil society in the last ten thousand years had competitive swimming as an organizing principle.

It's so very convenient that this concern surfaces now (no pun intended).

Like maybe when justice and empathy are better enshrined in public policy, I can give a fuck about who gets to play lacrosse or whatever

These are the same people who have railed against Title IX since it was enacted. They don't give a shit about girls' sports, or about girls, for that matter. They just need some marginalized group to marginalize further.

guessing the US is going to have more refugees leaving the country than entering it this year

― hootenanny-soundtracking clusterfucks about milking cows (Neanderthal)

i thought about leaving the country in 2016 when i was still a Really Good Ally(tm) but you know what, that's not... i mean most of us don't have the resources to do that. when we work, we're working, you know, front desk stuff, it's not like other countries are chomping at the bit to welcome us with open arms.

i think i've talked about this before but what you're _already_ seeing are internal refugees. people who can get out are getting out, even if it means living on the street. because the other thing is that certain places in america are... kind of the best places in the world for trans people right now. i genuinely believe that. the pac nw cities are good, and berlin is apparently good, and anywhere else, you know, you take your chances.

regarding the whole sports thing stacy cay had a good tweet about this over a year ago: "If a trans woman became the world champion in bubble blowing you'd hear some shit about male saliva density and lip stiffness".

the stuff about family trauma i... have probably a lot more to say about it but not on a public board.

They just need some marginalized group to marginalize further.

Yeah I have had this thought about the procession of hated out groups — over the past 10 years I've watched my state legislators be extremely concerned about a.) "Sharia law" (we hate Muslims), b.) the "immigrant caravan" (we hate Latinos), c.) Syrian refugees (hey, we hate Muslims again), d.) "critical race theory" (we hate Black people), e.) girls sports (we hate trans people), f.) children's medical care (we hate trans kids), g.) trans people (we hate trans people), h.) drag shows (we hate LGBTQ people in general).

The nice thing is they never run out, because if one issue loses steam for whatever reason you can always cycle back around. It really is just a permanent bully mentality, always looking for somebody easy to beat up.

because the other thing is that certain places in america are... kind of the best places in the world for trans people right now. i genuinely believe that. the pac nw cities are good, and berlin is apparently good, and anywhere else, you know, you take your chances.

New Jersey can be expensive (don't even try to live in Jersey City), and this may seem odd coming from someone who just left, but I would absolutely advise someone looking for a state to take shelter in to consider it.

Tipsy otm

they never run out, because if one issue loses steam for whatever reason you can always cycle back around

Like there are seriously people who are exercised about maple syrup branding.

When innocent people just trying to exist are being killed.

Seriously. Syrup?

New Jersey can be expensive (don't even try to live in Jersey City), and this may seem odd coming from someone who just left, but I would absolutely advise someone looking for a state to take shelter in to consider it.

― but also fuck you (unperson)

i mean you're probably right! my memories of growing up in morris county aren't exactly super fantastic, but it was a long-ass time ago now. it's gotta be better than, like, indiana.

the main thing though for me is.. again, a lot of people look at the pac nw and start screaming "social contagion" and for me another word for that is _community_

so much of the stuff i have gone through in the past, and so much of what i see people going through now, is built around the idea of isolation, the idea of keeping us apart from each other. the thing with me, why i never shut up about this stuff, is that i've just never really gotten over the absolute _wonder_ of discovering that all of this stuff that i felt and thought i couldn't ever possibly tell anybody, that i'm not alone in it.

and the internet helped me a lot to understand that it's not just me, that there are lots of people all over the world who have experiences which... are _different_ from mine, but are closer to what i've been through than i ever thought possible. but really, what's made the most difference in my day to day life, what made transition possible for me and what keeps me going now, is just living in a place where _being trans is totally normal_. safety isn't an absolute thing by any means, but any sense of danger i have is... more removed than i think i'd have if i still lived in indiana. the violent hatred and all that, it keeps me up at night, but i'm not afraid to leave my house. that's a weird distinction to make, it wasn't... a distinction i was particularly equipped to understand in the Before Time, but it's an important one to me.

Like there are seriously people who are exercised about maple syrup branding.

When innocent people just trying to exist are being killed.

Seriously. Syrup?

― the importance of being urdu (Ye Mad Puffin)

tbqh i feel like it still makes more sense than starting a war over my dick

hey not to turn this too much from specifically trans issues, but as someone whose parents would say they loved me but consistently threw me to the wolves, this has been something i've been thinking about and noticing for a long time. i'll just say that family is cover for incredible amounts of inflicted pain, more than most people either realize or would care to admit to.

xp to kate, that's a fantastic post that gets to some of the most common dymanics between parents and children and some of the cultural and historical reasons for them. if you've experienced it yourself and you start seeing enough of it all around you, you might start to relate to polemics about the nuclear family like this one: https://www.versobooks.com/products/2890-abolish-the-family🕸🕸. or dj sprinkles / terre thaemlitz who has written some similar things.

ugh, thx for the info

from a friend in Portland OR

"I thought living in Portland would protect us. I thought that the scary stuff was happening (waves arm) over *there*. Alas, I was wrong. This week, some parents apparently learned there is a non-binary kid in the second grade. They were so terribly upset at the idea that an 8yo, 61lb child, who loves baking, making handmade doll houses out of duct tape and cardboard, playing d&d with their sibling and being held until they fall asleep was coming to school each day as themself that they felt entitled and compelled to DO something.
This child, who at barely 4, was nearly incapacitated with worry and anxiety as they asked “would it hurt your feelings if I told you I am JUST they/them and NOT she/her?”. This child who never once has complained about being misgendered by adults, but instead shrugs and says “Lots of grown ups have never known a they/them. It takes time to learn new things”. This child who does their sibling’s chores with them sometimes so they can all reap the rewards of a week well done. This child who loves to eat apple slices in bed. This child who LIVES to see other people feel loved, seen, appreciated, comfortable.
These ADULTS were so upset and intimidated by this tiny peaceful child that they raised their voices to other adults. They disrupted the peace of a family evening, they disrupted the learning environment of a school day, they sent their children to school emboldened to corner and intimidate a child younger than themselves.
Thankfully, the levies held and my most tender and perceptive child has no idea the things that went down around them this week. They don’t know that their sister honestly weighed her ability to physically fight a clutch of older boys. They don’t know how many hours I have spent on the phone or writing emails or leaning on my own friends for safe space to process this. They are blissfully unaware and singularly focused on their upcoming first soccer game today. They are so excited to play with their friends. They have no idea the army of families and teachers and school and church leaders who have been made aware and are linking arms around them. Eliza is precious to many of us but Eliza is also just a kid. A tiny, brave, soft, funny, sushi loving, detail remembering, creative, cuddly, audiobook obsessed kid who just wants to be. There is no political agenda here. There is no statement or motive aside from Eliza being Eliza. Safe, happy, alive.
If you think its not happening absolutely everywhere, you, like me, are wrong. If you think there is ANY place for a child to be in the at-large community and also be immune from this hate and bullshit, you are wrong. As much as I want to buy a boat and set sail to everywhere else, I see these moments as a chance for others to join this revolution. This is a chance for people to practice standing up and speaking up and looking out for others. This is a chance for people to arm themselves with the love they feel for a soft and silly child and stand up to fascism and hate.
It takes time and practice to learn to be brave and to put others ahead of yourself. As much as we were raised to believe it is the fundamental good within us all, it is a skill. Courage, resistance, integrity…all require tremendous practice. This is a moment to practice. This is a moment for others to practice. A moment for families to consider how they will talk about this stuff with their children and teach them the ethics of everyday life. Do I wish I could have lived a long happy life only observing this shit from afar and waxing philosophical about it? You fucking bet. But am a humbled to see the people lining up to love my tiny kid? Absolutely."

i'm in portland, or and i had that same moment last month. i'm pissed about it. i'm really pissed.

but i also had a great weekend here, for the record, going to a great local convention with lots of trans and queer and neurodiverse and disabled people in a space that was welcoming and accommodating to all of us, and five years ago, people tell me, it wasn't like that. i'm really happy and grateful for that, for seeing this sea change in so many places.

emergency genocide

https://news.stlpublicradio.org/government-politics-issues/2023-04-13/emergency-rules-limiting-transgender-care-in-missouri-set-to-take-effect-this-month

i was reading albert glasser's autobiography last night (yes, this is the sort of thing i do in my leisure time) and i was struck by this passage:

My Dad was working on a job fixing some rain gutters, when suddenly the word went out that the Cossacks were killing the Jews in a nearby village ! My dad and all the other men in the area would drop what they were doing, grab their guns which they always kept handy and go running as fast as they could to help out! When they got there and my Dad saw the dead bodys in the streets and the wounded trying to defend themselves, then he got REAL MAD !!

i quote this not to make any sort of direct comparison - i don't think such things are genuinely possible or helpful - but because, for me, it sort of encapsulates the difficulty i face in trying to explain how i feel about things like what's happening in missouri. i guess you could say it makes me REAL MAD, in roughly the same sense that albert glasser's dad was REAL MAD !!

there is a terf cunt wearing a sandwich board with a megaphone and a film crew currently parading around in front of SOAS trying to engage with members of the public, apparently an Internet person called b*llboard chr*s.

I was late on my way somewhere so couldn't do anything more than flip him off as I passed, hopefully a sinkhole will open up somewhere.

Oh great, the one week I’m away and can’t go down there with a big bucket of suck to chuck at him…

The campaign of cruelty continues:

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) signed one of the most draconian bathroom bills in the country into law on Wednesday, subjecting anyone in the state over the age of 18 to criminal trespassing charges if they don’t use the public bathroom that matches the sex they were assigned at birth.

The new law, which DeSantis signed just weeks before he is widely expected to announce his 2024 presidential run, applies to government buildings, schools, colleges and detention centers. A previous draft had included private businesses such as restaurants and gas stations.

Fully expect DeSantis to outlaw men urinating while sitting next

and what are the enforcement measures? looking up someone's birth certificate because they took a leak at the library?

steely flan (suzy) at 6:58 17 May 23

Oh great, the one week I’m away and can’t go down there with a big bucket of suck to chuck at him…

The only place I received any resistance in London today was, of course, a university.

This is University College London. I’ll have some footage up in a day or two. pic.twitter.com/fuIoa2Vgsf

— Billboard Chris 🇨🇦🇺🇸 (@BillboardChris) May 17, 2023

billboardchris.com... not billboardcrhis.org?

That means he's trying to profit off this somehow

Damn autocorrect, that obviously should have been SICK.

ugh this idiot is from vancouver and i happened to observe his public meltdown as it unfolded on his company’s facebook profile. he started off by buying jlo billboards around here and then crystallized into this deranged professional provocateur terf. CBC mentioned him without any context in an article about a trans rally and linked to his twitter account (where he among other things doxed a transgender activist) and i got them to change it to something more appropriate.

on behalf of vancouver i would like to apologize for this asshole.

lol jkr billboards, not jlo

jlo billboards a much better investment ofc

ugh this idiot is from vancouver and i happened to observe his public meltdown as it unfolded on his company’s facebook profile. he started off by buying jlo billboards around here and then crystallized into this deranged professional provocateur terf. CBC mentioned him without any context in an article about a trans rally and linked to his twitter account (where he among other things doxed a transgender activist) and i got them to change it to something more appropriate.

on behalf of vancouver i would like to apologize for this asshole.

― scanner darkly

ahhhh, as someone in pdx it's pretty clear to me that said asshole doesn't represent vancouver bc. a certain percentage of people are just fucking batshit crazy.

i wish it was true but he isn’t a one off idiot (just the most ridiculous one), and my understanding is his schtick was the result of him hanging out with some local terfs (at least it provided for some mild entertainment in the form of infighting caused by some of them distancing themselves from his persona and the tactics he chose).

also there is a pretty well established anti LGBTQ2S machine sponsored by money flowing from the ultra conservative metro vancouver suburbs.

i wish it was true but he isn’t a one off idiot (just the most ridiculous one), and my understanding is his schtick was the result of him hanging out with some local terfs (at least it provided for some mild entertainment in the form of infighting caused by some of them distancing themselves from his persona and the tactics he chose).

also there is a pretty well established anti LGBTQ2S machine sponsored by money flowing from the ultra conservative metro vancouver suburbs.

― scanner darkly

ahhh that's disappointing, one of the hardest things about the current, ah, extinction burst is seeing how far transphobia is reaching into places where it just doesn't belong. there is a transphobia machine here and it does have impact on people's lives.

thankfully there is a very strong and vocal opposition as well.

here is a good write-up on the ass-hole if you're curious: https://www.antihate.ca/chris_elston_bc_man_taking_anti_trans_hate_tour_across_canada

god it really is all about the grift with these scum

https://www.newsweek.com/boycott-target-beats-taylor-swift-itunes-1803423

That said...

Despite cheers from some conservatives, iTunes sales numbers are considered a dated metric for tracking the success of music, since most modern consumers prefer the use of streaming services to buying digital songs. Songs with overt conservative political themes have regularly reached to upper ranks of the iTunes charts, as older audiences tend to be more likely to buy songs, and only a relatively small number of consumers need to do so in order to impact chart performance.