MOST INEXPLICABLE CASTING CHOICE FOR THE LIVE-ACTION G.I. JOE MOVIE

the best thing about this movie will be the Armond White review

lol no it didn't
xpost

xp Ohmigod I am so eager for that now.

Pirates of the Caribbean was more of a branding thing, its not like the ride invented pirates. Pirate stories/movies are great and there is a long history of them.

like, the film Pirates of the Caribbean could exist completely independently of the ride - apart from a handful of throwaway visual gags, it doesn't rely on the ride to provide any characters, narrative, etc. You can't say the same of stuff like Transformers or GI Joe or Care Bears or whatever, which exist exclusively as specific products.

I plan on getting drunk & seeing this & Transformers 2 on the same day as some sort of masochistic mourning ritual celebrating the further exploitation of already-exploitative elements of my childhood.

RIP

my expectations being so low that I will consider it worth the price of admission if they can just do a halfway decent job w/ Snake Eyes (& for the explosions as well, naturally).

I'm not very religious but a sobering bible quote seems in order for some of you:

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11

What's next, a movie based on Popples?

this is what's next

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLnoLmCqT30

you know what else is based on toys, is the song "Get Back Home" from Cabbage Patch Dreams, and that is a sweet song if you ask me

Actually, I blew most of my GI Joe dudes up with firecrackers before I had a chance to become a man and put them away.

well the sensible thing to do is re-buy them and put them away. then you'll truly be a man!

buy them from e-bay though, the greedy toy companies DO NOT deserve your money

;-)

actually a laser tag movie would be sweet.

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11"

I hate these cynical nostalgia merchants as much as anyone, but if a pyrotechnic GI Joe movie somehow leads to more secularism, yooooo JOE!

thing is, judging by the ads, this film has approximately nothing at all to do with G.I. Joe

Hey, sometimes religion has nuggets of wisdom in it.

I like to call it "wisdumb".

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things and became an insufferable blowhard who pretended to be interested in the maintenance of my lawn.

1 Corinthians 13:11

I'm looking forward to the hilarious backstory/explanation they come up with for Destro's solid-metal head encasement & how it might be advantageous, or even practical, in times of battle.

thing is, judging by the ads, this film has approximately nothing at all to do with G.I. Joe

?

maybe I'm seeing the wrong TV ads, but if they didn't say "G.I. Joe" at the end, I would have no idea whatsoever that they were in any way intended to have anything to do with G.I. Joe. I know they have to update things and make them all fresh and sexy, but the ads look more like refugees from The Fast and the Furious have started up some kind of covert international spy group / leather importing service

"refugees from The Fast and the Furious have started up some kind of covert international spy group / leather importing service"

That does kind of sum up 80s-era GI Joe frankly. They never seemed like any branch of the US military.

Only way I'll see this is if it's in Japanese with no English subtitles. Then I'll leave after the trailers.

they had navy guys and army guys and village people guys...they pretty much had the whole military covered

x-post

I strenuously disagree! For one thing they were still put together as the sort of beefy midcentury types who'd have been chomping on cigars if they hadn't been for children. For another, they had plenty of giant pitched militaristic battles with Cobra! I mean, there was no spy stuff happening during the whole race for all the stuff needed to create Serpentor, it was like red/blue laser crossfire across half the Pacific.

Did their chain of command ever go past Flint? The whole thing smacked of some weird blackwater oceans-11 type operation.

(Also these people in the commercial do not seem to me to have ANYTHING useful to say about fire safety or downed power lines)

i remember aircraft carriers and that sorta thing

http://images.yuku.com/image/pjpeg/fb036f533ba020ffa7bf55eab526b0f8974277ef.jpg

Did their chain of command ever go past Flint?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G.I._Joe_Team#Chain_of_Command

nb by "Flint" you mean "Hawk," who is apparently played by Dennis Quaid in the movie -- a still of him in costume actually reassures me that possibly it's just a matter of ads making this look over-conventional, and possibly the film itself still retains some of the proper flava

damn, g.i. joe had the lamest characters

"quick kick"

Did their chain of command ever go past Flint?

"Arise, Serpentor, Arise!" made the chain of command abundantly clear.

I'm more interested in finding out which mask Joseph Gordon-Levitt wears as Cobra Commander: the sick-sick helmet or the scully thing with eyeholes.

ILXORS AS GI JOE CHARACTERS

wait I just checked the cast list, how did Joseph Gordon-Leavitt go from Cobra Commander to "The Doctor"? And why is that part not being played by Christopher Ecclestone</nerdjoke>?

I dunno Nabisco there are a handful of instantly recognizable characters in the ad/trailer - most notably Stormshadow and Snake Eyes (ie, the white ninja and the black ninja)

Was there ever an episode where conventional US military had direct control over GI JOe? Like did Reagan ever phone up and say "Well, boys, I have a little mess with the contras that could use your expertise"

Had we all realized/remembered who Channing Tatum was when I started this poll, I am certain he would have walked it.

wait I just checked the cast list, how did Joseph Gordon-Leavitt go from Cobra Commander to "The Doctor"?

I think this is supposed to be sort of an origin story (hence "Rise of Cobra"), so maybe Cobra Commander isn't Cobra commander until later in the movie?

I always assumed G.I. Joe was like an independent military branch specifically dedicated to anti-Cobra activity. (Haha so I suppose if this film is about "the rise of Cobra," it might make more sense for them to still be covert and small-time and awaiting the Pentagon funding rampup that comes with increased Cobra threats.)

xpost - Dan that one was the MOST explicable to me -- dude totally looks like Duke!

The G.I. Joe team is composed primarily of US Army personnel but is supplemented by representatives from other branches of the United States Armed Forces, namely the Marine Corps, the Air Force and the Navy. Members are called from the best of their recruits. Each member brings to the team their own specialty.

Dan that one was the MOST explicable to me -- dude totally looks like Duke!

But he's like six years old and has the gravitas of a tarsir. I don't know, maybe I am remembering Duke with way more authority/experience than he actually had...

Looking forward to congressional oversight committee mayhem! Senator Slaughter, you have the floor!

This currently has a 91% FRESH rating on rottentomatoes!(albeit with only 12 non-"Top" reviews...)

"gravitas of a tarpir"??
http://my.execpc.com/~ehannan/tarpir.gif