this is the horny commiseration thread

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i am at work.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:36 (eighteen years ago) link

go and wash your hands

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:38 (eighteen years ago) link

good idea.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:39 (eighteen years ago) link

didn't work.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:46 (eighteen years ago) link

call a plumber

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:46 (eighteen years ago) link

pour cold water down your pants

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Or sit on ice cubes! It might work!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:08 (eighteen years ago) link

All that's gonna do it make the wetspot bigger, silly.

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:20 (eighteen years ago) link

Guys don't get a wet spot!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Good point. But they wouldn't be able to tell what was what!

Though I suppose having people think you wet your pants is (a) not sexy at all, and (b) not the image you want to project at work as it won't garner much respect if your co-workers are over the age of 18 months.

NEW PLAN.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Was referring to the ladies; I could care less about teh dudeage.

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:23 (eighteen years ago) link

i would like to know, what it feels like to be horny all day

someone describe

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

sticky

― Hel-loƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:27 (eighteen years ago) link

You start staring at things you shouldn't stare.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Or sit on ice cubes! It might work!

I'm not sure, at this point, I want it to "work."

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:30 (eighteen years ago) link

It's sometimes such exqusite torture, Mandee.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't want it to work either, nor was I entirely clear about how I'd sit on those ice cubes...

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:42 (eighteen years ago) link

would it get someone hot if i told them i got chipotle-flavored mayonnaise on my cardigan over lunch? it's left a stain.

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:43 (eighteen years ago) link

is the cardigan blue?

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:44 (eighteen years ago) link

and were you eating on the floor?

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:44 (eighteen years ago) link

the cardigan is blue!!

i was eating on a leather chair!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:44 (eighteen years ago) link

meh.

― The Original Jimmy Mod: Kind Warrior (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 18 August 2005 20:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Change the cardigan to a bustier, and we're in business.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:06 (eighteen years ago) link

sounds like an illegal one

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Nonsense.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:11 (eighteen years ago) link

i volunteer to be a silent partner. or a vocal one, really

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:11 (eighteen years ago) link

ok i was hoping it would be an illegal one

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:12 (eighteen years ago) link

She called me up today
Meet me down at the old café
I jumped into the shower
I was getting my marching orders

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of overtime
Say, my place at nine?

She gave me some dictation
But my strength is in administration
I took down all she said
I even took down her little red dress

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I’m going to give you the job
I’m pushing for a raise
I’ve been pushing now for days

I’m a slave to work
I’m only living when I walk amongst the office staff
And catch up with the office wag
I’ll be in bed by nine
My curtains drawn
My thoughts composed
I get to work on time

She’d never stand for any lies
She’s got an Out Tray full of guys
I could sense a breath, a whole new feeling
Now she says she wants to call a meeting

I’ve got to change my ways
Dress for business every day
A smart suit and a kipper tie
A big arrow pointing to my fly

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of better pay
Can you start today?

My output is in decline
I was burned out after Thatcher
My banner I laid down with a sigh
Now I doubt if I’ll ever catch her

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:14 (eighteen years ago) link

i call bullshit on that sleep deprivation hypothesis. (though i do have a headache too so that could be partly responsible)

― joseph (joseph), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:23 (eighteen years ago) link

seriously, this is the first time in about a month where i haven't wanted to hump anything that walks and i got about three hours of sleep last night. COINCIDENCE???!?!/!//

― joseph (joseph), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't know, I mean, everyone's different. I had no idea until this thread that it affected other guys, too. All I'm saying is two hours of sleep last night, too horny to even concentrate today.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:30 (eighteen years ago) link

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway and lack of sleep just exacerbates this condition*

*i'm honestly not sure

― joseph (joseph), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Jaymc should go home and watch M*A*S*H* and then give it a rating out of 5.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I told you, Adam, I hate ratings.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:46 (eighteen years ago) link

you gave M*A*S*H four stars when it should only have three, adam

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 21:54 (eighteen years ago) link

you're right. I just imagined a world where you didn't point that out to me and I almost choked on my honey roasted nuts.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:13 (eighteen years ago) link

That takes a certain talent, n'est-ce pas?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:16 (eighteen years ago) link

did you know that I was making a ratings related joke? I hope so

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 August 2005 22:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Guys don't get a wet spot!
Not unless you cream your jeans. Although it's more of a sticky situation than anything.

Mandee, when I'm horny all day, it feels like my hormones are stabbing my pancreas. It's violent. Sometimes I want to double over.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 18 August 2005 23:20 (eighteen years ago) link

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway

Oh god, this is so true it's not funny. Sigh.

― Win A Lie-Down, Mrs. Davies (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 06:56 (eighteen years ago) link

i think i ordinarily prefer sleep to sex anyway

Awh, Kate. This reminds me of a gag I heard, but it's a joke for boys: Get one of those condoms that's got anaesthetic lubricant for extra 'performa'nce and wear it inside out. That way, you don't need to wake anybody up...

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 07:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Eurgh, that's sick!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:25 (eighteen years ago) link

I am boggling at condoms designed to give the wearer *less* pleasure.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:42 (eighteen years ago) link

i rubbed one out this morning at 4am to a skinemax cheap porno.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:50 (eighteen years ago) link

sweet. i just slept for 11 hours, so hopefully i'll be all good today.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 19 August 2005 11:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I am boggling at condoms designed to give the wearer *less* pleasure.

I assume they're designed specially for men who cum on the first stroke.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:23 (eighteen years ago) link

(so they probably *do* increase the amount of pleasure had by the couple as a whole)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:26 (eighteen years ago) link

http://altura.speedera.net/ccimg.catalogcity.com/200000/204700/204700/Products/5679554.jpg

― angle of dateh, Friday, 19 August 2005 13:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Someday I will have sex again. Maybe. I hope.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Maybe we could start an ILX0r sex exchange!

And get done for prostitution. Maybe not.

― I Dream Of Sleep (kate), Friday, 19 August 2005 13:53 (eighteen years ago) link

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