Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

Wrong answers only.

“A very surreal experience” used to refer to literally anything outside the confines of one’s regular life

i was just thinking about how when i was a kid one of the worst things you could be called was "conceited". "She is so conceited!". and how i never hear that word anymore. always seemed like a weird word for kids to use. "stuck up" made more sense.

"I hope this email finds you well."

"He is him" after any athlete makes a fine play in sports

xp "She is so conceited!". usually meant "how DARE she feel good about herself" or "who does she think she is"
if a guy was full of himself it was (ime) usually totally ok, even desirable. i am glad to see all of this fall out of favor. it's so mean and cynical and usually hurled at girls.

"I hope this email finds you well."

Beginning in late 2020 I started including "Hope you're staying safe and doing well." in most emails. I don't always do that still, but sometimes I do.

https://images.fineartamerica.com/images/artworkimages/mediumlarge/3/how-your-email-finds-me-emily-bernstein.jpg

[SITE OF MASSACRE] STRONG

and/or a football game suggesting resilience in the face of mechanized death

coworker just called me a 'star' and said I'm 'much appreciated' for doing a minor task that's just a part of my job

thought of you guys

'skin in the game'

particularly when used by rich assholes who think there are no taxes apart from that on income and that only those with money should have a say in how they are governed

+1

"tuddy" as slang for touchdown.

it's the same number of syllables and it sounds dumb

and there was nothing wrong with "T-D"

When a server at a restaurant asks you if "you're still working on that."

If I thought it was work to eat this, I'd probably go elsewhere.

more of a pronunciation, but lately have heard ppl stressing the second syllable in "affluent" (rather than the first), and it turns a normal word into a horrible, horrible word

xp idk wouldn't it be rude if the server asked you flat out "are you still eating that?" i think "are you working on that?" serves a purpose in that you can inquire about progress without implying they are taking too long, etc.

i could have written that better but hopefully you understand my point

more waitstaff should be aggressive and dictatorial IMHO

Not advisable since we rely on tips/generosity for our income.

oh I know, i kid :) (I did it for years, was mediocre at the job and had the wrong temperament for it though).

xxxp I do get the point, and I agree that "Are you still eating that?" is not a great alternative. It's just the idea of "working" on a meal that bugs me. I don't know, it's just an idiosyncrasy of mine.

I don't mind if someone says, "May I take your plate?" I got used to waitstaff in South America asking that; maybe it sounds better in Spanish.

Fwiw I usually ask “can i get this out of your way?” Bc i don’t like the idea of “working” to eat a delicious meal either.

ppl stressing the second syllable in "affluent"

hmmm, making it nearly indistinguishable from effluent. I approve.

What, you mean the stress is different in "affluent" and "effluent"?

xps "have you QUITE finished?" in a Mary Poppins voice

I would probably just say “status?”

"You gonna eat that?"

What, you mean the stress is different in "affluent" and "effluent"?

Eh, fugedaboudit. It was a failed attempt at a convoluted joke.

Affluenza

Which I quite enjoy.

SADDLE UP

the name of a really nice bar in Austin!

One of the best known gay bars in Atlanta is Cowtippers.

a tale as old as time

dong as long as mine

"out of interest..."

"I hope this email finds you well."

― hat trick of trashiness (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, November 1, 2023 7:48 AM (one month ago)

this also annoys me. i kneejerk dislike phatic content in emails that is totally unlike anything the person sending the email would actually say if you were speaking. As in, I'm not opposed to platitudes in general (it has taken me many years tbh), but that one and any variant of "regards" ... ugh. Just don't.

"How are you?" is fine. "Hope you're hanging in there." is also fine. and at the end ... "Thanks" is fine. "I appreciate you" is the platitude du jour that I get. It kinda annoys me because lol it has so many syllables that it feels like it's trying to do the "value inflation through length" thing? But it's fine.

But really, most of the time, I assume that the person sending the email would feel embarrassed if I was miserable, dealing with a painful illness, or grieving the loss of a loved one when they email me to ask some favor or mundane question. Just get to the point.

sometimes I'm in a really irritable mood when I get these emails and I will say to myself, "your email finds me well, but unfortunately it also finds me too busy to respond to it any time soon"

Sarahell, I find myself saying "I hope you're well," "I hope you're doing well," and "Be well." I think I got attached "well" because it has two meanings: both "not bad" and "not sick." Both meanings have been especially relevant the past few years.

My other unfortunate tic is saying stuff like "very well, carry on," which I am trying to stop saying because I have a close colleague named Carrie. Every time I say "carry on" in her presence, I feel like it sounds like I am instructing to her to continue being herself. Which is stupid because it's not my job to direct her course of action, and she would be doing whatever she was going to do anyway.

Your post makes me even more eager to restrict my mouth. "Take it easy." "Have a good one." "Keep it light."

Later, taters. Hang loose. Okey-dokey, artichokey.

Sayonara, capybara.
Ciao, sea cow.
Adios, bonobos.
Later on, reticulated python.
In a while, reptile.
So long, dugong.
See you soon, baboon.
Au revoir, arctic char.

...or, you could take leave of all your colleagues like that: "Kevin on", "keep on Daveing", "Sophie away then"... could really bring some new vibes to the workplace...

For years I have started freelance writing-related emails (aka "I want something from you" emails) with

>>How's it going? Hope you're well.

During the pandemic, this has evolved to

>>How's it going? Hope you're staying safe and doing well.

Lately I've reverted back to the former construction.

“You’re really Barbara-ing up that spreadsheet”

Calstars, I believe the most ILXy way to compliment a spreadsheet is to say Excel-sior, but I doubt my colleagues would get it.

Carrie on.

"i appreciate you" is desperate bad stuff, or any version thereof. impossible not to imagine really intense eye contact being evoked.

tell me how to end emails

god people are so fucking mean :-(

tbh I’d rather be perceived as a heartless asshole than a disingenuous Russell Wilson-esque creep, so I agree with all the pretentious language hate.

What about "you raise a good point"* or even "your point is well taken"?

I may be the only person who still says "your point is well taken."

* I have a child who has written "good point" on a piece of paper and hoisted it in the air to communicate "you raise a good point," and I lolled.

"i appreciate you" is desperate bad stuff

lol I said this twice today, once picking up a pizza and again when the UPS store guy printed a receipt for me (no eye contact, sounds closer to preshaychuh in practice)

also re: email, as an admin in a giant bureaucracy I write thank you emails about 500 times a day every fucking day and after a while you start mixing it up because A. it gets maddeningly boring otherwise and B. just saying "thank you very much" every time begins to read as patronizing/insulting/sarcastic (often I'm thanking people for helping me fix something I fucked up or vice-versa, and you REALLY do not want people to think you're being sarcastic in an email reply, so exaggerated politeness is definitely the way to go with someone you rarely speak to on the phone who may or may not hate your guts as a baseline)