I went to some Refuge meetings c.2017-2019 and I liked it well enough. The one near me was a very small (probably <5 people on average) weekly meditation meeting at a zen center out in the country, but when I visited Asheville there were groups with 30 people meeting every day and taking meetings into treatment facilities and stuff.
Unfortunately, not long after that, the Refuge Recovery community split in two for reasons that were not entirely clear to me -- I remember hearing at the time that it had something to do with the founder/author of their book sounding off on social media & wading into public controversies, but never tried to confirm it. All I know is I woke up one morning and half the meetings on the website were gone. I worried they had closed their doors for good, but it turns out most of them formed a new fellowship calling itself Recovery Dharma.
― The king of the demo (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 November 2023 21:03 (five months ago) link
The People's Recovery Front vs. the People's Front of Recovery.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 29 November 2023 21:04 (five months ago) link
the founder Noah Levine was also accused of some sexual malfeasance of some sort or another, not sure if that had anything to do with this schism you describe
― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 29 November 2023 21:09 (five months ago) link
Yeah, that's right. I dunno why I thought it was social media posts, my brain must have been busy that day.
I think (I hope) the org that continued under the name Refuge Recovery no longer has Levine in any kind of leadership position today
― The king of the demo (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 November 2023 21:17 (five months ago) link
...nope I am very wrong about that
― The king of the demo (bernard snowy), Wednesday, 29 November 2023 21:19 (five months ago) link
He can always blame it on booze
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Wednesday, 29 November 2023 21:20 (five months ago) link
feeling super relieved right now
an addict in my life went to a recovery group for the first time recently
they had a lot of anxiety about it. last time they went to a group they were in a different city that didn't have a lot of queer-focused recovery groups. even though there are plenty of queer-focused recovery groups around here, they were pretty hesitant
turned out a good friend of mine was there. it just helps to know you're not alone, y'know?
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 30 November 2023 03:27 (five months ago) link
Big time
― tobo73, Thursday, 30 November 2023 03:38 (five months ago) link
Also helps not to use the word “addict” imo
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 30 November 2023 10:15 (five months ago) link
Like I would be quite displeased if someone referred to me as “a cancer in my life”
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 30 November 2023 10:17 (five months ago) link
my bad, i'm new to all this language... you're right that it's essentializing, i don't see them that way
― Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 30 November 2023 16:47 (five months ago) link
tbf "addict" but is a term i've heard frequently self-applied within the recovery community
― budo jeru, Thursday, 30 November 2023 19:30 (five months ago) link
I went to some Lifering meetings, way more mellow and less performative than AA ime but maybe that was just my group. Also learned about wood turning.Ime the important thing is just to have “fellow travelers” to go through the shit with, not necessarily following some recipe
― brimstead, Thursday, 30 November 2023 19:39 (five months ago) link
I have no problem calling myself an addict. In fact, I think it's important.
That's just me. Your mileage may vary.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 30 November 2023 21:29 (five months ago) link
same. Good to recognize it, no?
― calstars, Thursday, 30 November 2023 21:52 (five months ago) link
this is probably one of those speak for yourself but not others kind of thing….
― brimstead, Thursday, 30 November 2023 22:45 (five months ago) link
lol jimbo otm iow
― brimstead, Thursday, 30 November 2023 22:46 (five months ago) link
It has been for me. I had to rewire my brain.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 30 November 2023 22:49 (five months ago) link
I’m in the “I’ve had an SUD” camp, which is tbf pretty nu-skool
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 1 December 2023 07:23 (five months ago) link
SMART Recovery is another AA alternative. CBT based approach.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 1 December 2023 07:24 (five months ago) link
SMART recovery is good, I got a lot out of it (including the motivation I needed to actually get something out of AA meetings, by "identifying not comparing"). They do discourage the use of labels like "alcoholic" and "addict" in their meetings.
I say "alcoholic" when I'm at AA, I say "addict" when I'm at DAA, I don't go to NA, and when I'm talking to normies I say "a sober person in long term recovery, and what that means for me is I haven't needed to drink or take drugs since (MM/DD/YYYY)"
― The king of the demo (bernard snowy), Friday, 1 December 2023 17:30 (five months ago) link
...unless they're British normies, then I go with DD/MM/YYYY
― The king of the demo (bernard snowy), Friday, 1 December 2023 17:31 (five months ago) link
I've had some pretty good non-drinking stints over the past few years but I'm still mostly running behind the wagon trying to keep up once in a while. One tactic that's helped me cut down when I'm out at bars is for every beer I drink I have to follow it up with a bitters and soda, which I've found to be better than NA beers and hop water for scratching that drinking itch. Some of my issue is that I will down any beverage in front of me pretty quickly, my bladder's capacity being the only thing that really slows me down. I always play it off as saying "I'm a thirsty guy" but it's probably more a compulsion issue than thirst (I'm also a very fast eater). Last night I went out to a show and felt like I was drinking a decent amount and when it came time to close my tab I was pleasantly surprised to see just 2 beers on it.
― Chyiv Kyiv (Fetchboy), Friday, 19 January 2024 19:38 (four months ago) link