thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

I mean it's the Church of England for a reason

Maunday money (bah-da bah-da-da-da)
So good to me (bah-da bah-da-da-da)

after Jesus cleansed the temple he told those lads to fuck off, he didn't say well I guess you can hand out fake money to make yourself look good if you want to!

wait it's not real money?

I don't like maundys

Just another manic maundy?

They always get me down

wait it's not real money?

Being an ignorant lout of an American, I looked up Maundy money in wikipedia and discovered:

the British monarch or a royal official ceremonially distributes small silver coins known as "Maundy money" (legally, "the King's Maundy money") as symbolic alms to elderly recipients. The coins are technically legal tender, but typically do not circulate due to their silver content and numismatic value.

SO, this is one of those weird holdovers like touching for "the King's evil" See:
https://history.rcplondon.ac.uk/blog/touching-kings-evil-short-history

when William's king they're going to modernise it and hand out £15 Playstation Network cards

they're ceremonial coins, the US also does this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_commemorative_coins

i image most states do tbh

why not gelt, at least you can eat that

im sure you could sell the coin, but maybe you want to keep it, as a keepsake

or launch them at William's ugly slaphead next time he cries at an FA cup final cos all those nasty scousers are booing the national anthem.

These fucking ppl

it's ok bud they're all dead now

rip big family

thoughts and prayers

Less than two months after Buckingham Palace confirmed King Charles III was diagnosed with cancer, sources exclusively reveal to In Touch that the king is battling pancreatic cancer and has been given two years to live.

While the royal family has kept tight-lipped about the specifics of Charles’ illness, including the type of cancer he has, a source exclusively confirms to In Touch that the king’s diagnosis is known to be an open secret among royal staffers.

“Many courtiers believe Charles’ cancer is worse than they’re making it out to be,” a second insider adds. “Even before the diagnosis, there were concerns about his health."

come on i can't wait two years for an extra bank holiday

Ouch, that's one of the worst cancers to get iirc

What's In Touch?

^ out of touch

2 years might be optimistic - it is usually incurable and when the end comes it comes quickly

He might even win some sympathy over this. Too bad he has such a grossly unsympathetic personality. The problem with being heir to a throne is it leads to an all-pervasive sense of entitlement.

er

What's _In Touch_?

sorry that was a typo, it was supposed to read According to Zing Touch…

It's time for a return to old-style king-naming. I look forward to the reign of King William the Bald.

ivar the boneless and olaf the flashy
were a very notorious couple of kings

Harald Bluetooth would often stay rooted to the same spot in his great hall

Ivar the Boneless one of the few monarchs to have a KFC meal deal named in his honour

don’t forget æthelred the zinger tower

Pancreatic cancer was the same thing that killed Steve jobs. Charles seems like the kind of person to try the same treatment (nuts and berries etc).

nuts and buried morelike

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/D192/production/_133305635_455d3b68-e998-4cf5-9718-93c5e8b093d1.jpg

The first official painted portrait of King Charles III since his coronation has been unveiled at Buckingham Palace.

The vast oil on canvas shows a larger-than-life King Charles in the uniform of the Welsh Guards.
The vivid red work, measuring about 8ft 6in by 6ft 6in, is by Jonathan Yeo, who has also painted Tony Blair, Sir David Attenborough and Malala Yousafzai.

Queen Camilla is said to have looked at the painting and told Yeo: "Yes, you've got him."

King Vigo the Charlespathian III

i think it will be nice when it's finished

King Charles at the base of a crucifixion.

fellas is it ominous to have your portrait shrouded in a blood-red wash

fuck off flattering portraitist to the rich, Jonathan Yeo. He's much balder than that and your paintings suck.

the subtle touch of a monarch butterfly about to land on his shoulder, presumably just after vacating the shoulder of the queen as she passed away

the bloated, anatomically wrong looking hands reveal that this Yeo dude was always shit at life drawing and is incapable of observing the human form.

not that he is dealing with a human form here!

The fingers are the one bit that he might have got right in this case.

painting makes me want to see a Bacon screaming pope version of Charles

trying (and failing) to do the face in a realism style and then doing the hands in a Beryl Cook style is a jarring mix imo

dude must've fought a lot of argentinians to win all those medals

come back Lucien Freud, paint this half dead clown with bollocks out!

The hands look more like his hands than the face looks like his face.

https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fswkqrzh2f4va1.jpg

it looks like a paperback book cover from 1971

Trying that again...

https://i.redd.it/swkqrzh2f4va1.jpg

that reminds me, I'm all out of Richmond sausages