this is the horny commiseration thread

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of overtime
Say, my place at nine?

She gave me some dictation
But my strength is in administration
I took down all she said
I even took down her little red dress

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I’m going to give you the job
I’m pushing for a raise
I’ve been pushing now for days

I’m a slave to work
I’m only living when I walk amongst the office staff
And catch up with the office wag
I’ll be in bed by nine
My curtains drawn
My thoughts composed
I get to work on time

She’d never stand for any lies
She’s got an Out Tray full of guys
I could sense a breath, a whole new feeling
Now she says she wants to call a meeting

I’ve got to change my ways
Dress for business every day
A smart suit and a kipper tie
A big arrow pointing to my fly

We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of better pay
Can you start today?

My output is in decline
I was burned out after Thatcher
My banner I laid down with a sigh
Now I doubt if I’ll ever catch her

*i'm honestly not sure

Mandee, when I'm horny all day, it feels like my hormones are stabbing my pancreas. It's violent. Sometimes I want to double over.

Oh god, this is so true it's not funny. Sigh.

Awh, Kate. This reminds me of a gag I heard, but it's a joke for boys: Get one of those condoms that's got anaesthetic lubricant for extra 'performa'nce and wear it inside out. That way, you don't need to wake anybody up...

I assume they're designed specially for men who cum on the first stroke.

And get done for prostitution. Maybe not.

i know that feeling

I've actually tried these, not specifically because I'm the sort of man who cums on the first stroke, but because I was drunk at the 24 hour shop and it was like *swaying in front of counter* gimmie some of those *points* - needless to say I was too drunk to read or care about the small print.

I can't really report on their anaesthetic effect as there was so much alcohol in my system at the time. On the way back from the shop I fell off my bike and bashed up my elbow really good. This naturally didn't stop me using the condoms but it did mean I woke up with the bed covered in blood, amplifying that dirrty "WTF happened? - ah, great night" moment.

Curiously the monitor in front of me has lots of condoms around it which have been sent to my work as a promo. Instead of being lubricated with anaesthetic they are lubricated with "warm sensations", which I'm hopefully assuming is a very mild form of deep heat.

I say this to myself all the time.

Um, what?

i got an adequate amount of sleep last night, so i'm left to assume a correlation between wakefulness and horndoggyness on my part.

i guess it doesn't help that i spend most of my workday having to look at some nude/mostly nude bodies.

Lack of sleep never makes a difference for me.