Elon Musk

kind of amazed there doesn't seem to be any real oversight going on with Tesla, like if Toyota has a faulty brake or wheel or whatever it's national news, while Teslas just routinely ship out with 5 things pre-broken which may or may not be covered by warranty

medias spent so many years riding elons dick they dont know how to do anything else

Yeah we had to literally hand over our fucking car 5 years back because "some" models of it had faulty airbags. Nothing wrong with our actual car but we had no say in the matter, no chance to just fix the airbags - nope. Recall, heres your current-value buyout, off you fuck. Was such an old car we only got like $4k back and, we couldnt remove the after market stereo we'd installed so lost that too :( To see these cars just driving around like nothing... blaaaaa.

lmao, incredible

https://x.com/ass_beaters/status/1794036155014361392

this is so painful to watch pic.twitter.com/Pe2LG19Qsz

— 𝓡𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽’𝓵𝓵 𝓑𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓐𝓼𝓼 (@ass_beaters) May 24, 2024

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/24/opinion/elon-musk-spacex-brownsville-texas.html

tht stry mde me sd. :(

[deep breath] ahhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha pic.twitter.com/JH0fDTCk8E

— adrian (@crawf34) May 30, 2024

thats bad lol

the truck
the truck
the truck is on fire
we won't give you water
we'll let the motherfucker burn

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GOttPsxW4AAMhf3?format=jpg&name=medium

very impressive, smart

These things are so useless. 😝 pic.twitter.com/Mq4QXaxfaJ

— StrictlyChristo  🇺🇦🌻 (@StrictlyChristo) May 28, 2024

it's like driving a vehicle from Starfox

enhance

https://i.imgur.com/YVyI4YA.png

https://i.imgur.com/DaNOzyX.png

i searched twitter for cybertruck looking for that last post and the results are just all cyber fails lol, on elons own site, rude

#notalltrucks

🖼

he claims this is "satire" in the comments there

(the tech optimist right's (mis)use of the word "satire" to mean "a lie or trolling" is a bizarre thing that could be a thread on its own)

engagement farming is just basically the social media version of old school internet trolling but the sheer volume of people doing it is exhausting, and half of them aren't even monetizing it in any direct or tangential way.

like you got 300 people really angry with a tweet and made no money off of it, congratulations!

its so satire that he went back to pick up something heavier

Cybertruck with a full pallet of ceramic tile, right around 2000 pounds handles it nicely! For all the folks that didn’t like my massive load of mulch, I picked up! @cybertruck @Tesla @elonmusk @WholeMarsBlog @thecybersurg @squawksquare @DirtyTesLa @Teslaconomics… pic.twitter.com/EMOPEkcoK0

— Merle Somero (@MerleSomero) May 30, 2024

Now make it do more truck things

lmao

https://x.com/TeslaBoomerMama/status/1796191742867255465

he's working hard to get a douchebag bingo

I use my real truck on the weekends pic.twitter.com/H0XT6NkK6W

— Merle Somero (@MerleSomero) May 30, 2024

https://i.ibb.co/2n14LC8/GO1a6u-RXs-AALO-D.jpg
https://i.ibb.co/cxzyxGG/GO1a6u-HW0-AAKXq8.jpg

another car came too close, the one thing no one could have predicted, not robot, not tycoon, no one!

another masterful gambit!

i would call bs on that one but its always real no one has to make anything up

There's eight cameras on a Tesla, lets see footage of the wreck

surprised tesla hasnt already paid him to take this one down

Another car came to close, autopilot swerved so missed the other car and flipped over a few times, slid across the motor way on the roof and flipped back onto the tires. All a bit of a blur for me but I'm told it was a sight to be seen from the outside 👌🏻

— Simon Pollock (née Tesla Light Shows) (@Teslalightshows) May 30, 2024

All that tweet makes me think of is this classic

18. One day, driving us to our great-aunt's house, Chris took a wrong turn onto a one-way street. He averted there oncoming cars and narrowly avoided a collision with a parked one before finally making it down the block and turning the correct way. There was about a minute of silence, while my mother and I could finally breathe again (my brother, who was less than a year old, was also in the car).
Suddenly, Chris beamed. "Man!" he said. "I must be the best fucking driver in the world! Anyone else would have gotten into in accident, but I avoided all those cars [that were headed straight at me because I was stupid enough to make a wrong turn on a fucking one-way residential street], and none of us got hurt." He concluded cockily: "I'm a great fucking driver."

― M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, May 6, 2003 4:06 PM bookmarkflaglink

notice regarding 'cancellation of the dearMoon project: https://dearmoon.earth/pdf/dearMoon_EN_240601.pdf?0531

poor old steve aoki

I have been left with a life-changing experience, that much is true. But not the one I hoped for. Now, the change I have experienced is that I don’t trust as freely and easily, and I certainly don’t believe that moon trips happen to people like me. Not today anyway.

— Rhiannon Adam (@blackbirdsfly) June 1, 2024

Ruh roh...

Elon Musk accused of selling $7.5 billion of Tesla stock before releasing disappointing sales data that plunged the share price to two-year low

Elon Musk faces allegations that he illegally sold $7.5 billion worth of equity in Tesla in the fourth quarter of 2022, knowing that the business would disappoint after promising investors an “epic end of year.”

In a lawsuit filed with a Delaware court late last week, shareholder Michael Perry accused both the CEO of deliberately unloading nearly 45 million shares in advance of poor vehicle sales data to prevent an estimated 55% hit in value, and almost the entire board of collectively violating their responsibility of directors toward shareholders.

“By disposing of $7,530,113,926 worth of Tesla stock in November and December 2022 while he was in possession of adverse, material non-public information, E. Musk exploited his position at Tesla, and he breached his fiduciary duties to Tesla,” the lawsuit claims, adding other directors were both “knowing and culpable” as well.

https://fortune.com/2024/06/03/elon-musk-tesla-insider-trading-lawsuit-board-directors/

Elon's response: poop emoji

also decided to unilaterally call nvidia and tell them to prioritize his xAI/X order over Tesla’s order, when the former is a privately-held flight of fancy and the former could, in theory, in some way help the publicly-held business

how long until he tries to swing a purchase of X/xAI by Tesla, SolarCity-style?

decided to unilaterally call nvidia and tell them to prioritize his xAI/X order over Tesla’s order

― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Tuesday, June 4, 2024 4:10 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

seems like fireable, litigatable offense

or at least one that doesn't deserve a $56 billion bonus

That teslamommy Twitter account seems to have been organising Tesla stock owners to vote for the package, trying to reverse the usual trend that retail investors never vote.

luv 2 relax in my stainless steel claustrophobia generator

If you ever get kicked out of the house by your significant other for buying the Cybertruck, you know where you can still sleep in style pic.twitter.com/bAPBa2rpsT

— Teslaconomics (@Teslaconomics) February 2, 2024

I would not trust that thing to allow me back out of the trunk once I had crawled in.

they've lost the mommybloggers https://www.threads.net/@i_am_random_sarah/post/C8IsAQ2yeS7

You hate to see it

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/tesla-autopilot-crashes-police-patrol-car-fullerton/3436547/

Teslas are cool now

tesla autopilot is praxis

tend not to look at tesla truck content cos frankly the whole thing is completely embarrassing but it is objectively hilarious looking at this guy having to make it go by *pulling a piece of string*.

lmao this fuckin piece of shit costs $100k and is less than 6 months old

the "fix" for when it breaks is to peel back a plastic panel and pull a string to break it in a different way pic.twitter.com/eULv6SHIQM

— 𝕏eͤ✞ꌚe͎n̆̈♨𝕏⊍תּḋᥑy҉҉ (@JetsenSunday) June 14, 2024

NEW:

Elon Musk’s Neuralink has been sued by a staffer who says she got scratched on the face by a herpes-carrying monkey-- then was fired a day after she said she was pregnant. https://t.co/cIRPv2q2Nh

— Gabe Hoffman (@GabeHoff) June 15, 2024

The headlines are just going to be Mad Libs from here on in...

He got his $56b tho