Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Ahahahaha this is the last straw! All day there's been a vague rumour of a leaving party for a group of students but nobody had officially told me about it or asked for anything so I decided that the tutors had obviously arranged everything themselves and I wouldn't be needed. Five minutes ago - ie five mins before the party - they came and asked me if I had any cups or plates. I unearthed about 30 paper cups from a previous party and then they said, 'no we need real ones, about 60'. What? Are you mad? This is an OFFICE! Do you think I can produce 60 glasses and 60 china plates without any notice? Am I a caterer suddenly?

Archel (Archel), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:07 (seventeen years ago) link

It gets worse! They found some chilled white wine in my fridge and have swapped it for their warm stuff, without asking! But OF COURSE they don't have a corkscrew!

Archel (Archel), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:09 (seventeen years ago) link

What if that were a special bottle??

Archel this sux :(

don't be afraid to just say "no, I'm sorry" tho

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:14 (seventeen years ago) link

I did say no this time. Possibly I even shouted it.

Archel (Archel), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:17 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm getting mad just listening to this!

Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:21 (seventeen years ago) link

yay!

xpost

Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:23 (seventeen years ago) link

you need to tell them to stop being twats and start thinking. with their brains.

teh_kit is jayne without the tits (g-kit), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:24 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't really have that many annoying coworkers but I do have a desk that is positioned right outside the doors of two big shots with private offices. There is the assumption that I am one of their personal assistants or coworkers. Basically every day I have my work interrupted by one of the following: undergraduates looking for internships, high school students looking to brown nose admission, delivery people, repair people, administrative douchebags from other departments, hordes of school teachers looking to meet about student teachers. I don't even work *with* the people whose offices I sit outside or do anything remotely related to their jobs and everyone wandering in act like I should be wiping their ass nd running along to get "my boss's" calendar to pencil them in. Fuck you@!!!!!!!

Just yesterday, I was coding with headphones on when something made me turn around and there were like 14 middle aged teachers their asking if I knew when OFFICEDUDE would be back in. They were laughing nervously quite a bit so I imagine they had been talking to my back for a bit of time.

Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Friday, 21 July 2006 12:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Okay so the manager of the local division of my company (also my aunt) is TOTAL HYPOCHONDRIAC.

Things she has claimed to have:
Mumps
Allergy to tomatoes (despite eating them all the time - basically every time she gets sick off Bloody Marys she is suddenly allergic)
Crohn's Disease
Strep throat at least 4 times THIS SUMMER

ugh this is all I can think of but she is allegedly sick all the time, hospitals now refuse to give her medicine, she has completely fucked her immune system by taking WAY too many antibiotics, AND IF SHE TALKS ABOUT BEING SICK ONE MORE TIME I WILL SNAP.

Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Friday, 21 July 2006 14:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I don’t have a problem with annoying co-workers, just stupid ones.

Coworker: So what did you go to college for? Art something?
Me: Art history.
Coworker: What is that? Can you get a job with that?
Me: Well… (thinking: HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THIS SO SHE CAN UNDERSTAND), for instance, if I had a master’s degree I could be a curator.
Coworker: What’s a curator?

killy (baby lenin pin), Friday, 21 July 2006 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

can i just point out that the girl i moaned about a lot upthread has actually revealed herself to be quite wonderful at times? she's been on holiday for two weeks and it's been fucking hellish; i can't wait for her to come back. she's head and shoulders above most of the rest of her desk colleagues.

there. an official apology. now i'm going to go before i start ranting about other ppl.

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 21 July 2006 22:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Archel, that really, really sucks.

The only thing I have to complain about regarding my day at work today was that someone who must have stayed in late last night decided to play around with the office's printer settings, to where this morning none of the office computers were able to print to our shared printer. We had to get in our IT people to fix things around to where our computers could recognize the printers again. This ate up a good hour of our work time, and none of us were even allowed to go anywhere. But it's ok. They'll be able to figure out who did it by the end of this weekend. And our office has glorious air conditioning, so I'm not as bad off as some of the rest of you.

Phoenix Dancing (krushsister), Saturday, 22 July 2006 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...
i'd find it odd if anyone brought their parents into work. just odd, no?

but really, lots odder when YOU STOPPED WORKING HERE THREE MONTHS AGO!!!

a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Monday, 4 September 2006 13:05 (seventeen years ago) link

you say odd, i say classic.

i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Monday, 4 September 2006 13:07 (seventeen years ago) link

QED

a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Monday, 4 September 2006 13:09 (seventeen years ago) link

the other two members of my team have turned an email newsletter that used to take me or someone else a couple of hours of work (on and off) on a friday to put together, into a two-day drama that they STILL cannot get right, despite me: a) editing the mistakes that cropped up every week out of it while they watched, thinking in vain that they might twig that I am removing mistakes; b) making a checklist that told them step by step exactly what to do; and c) me losing patience with them last friday and pointing out in idiot style that they should "do it like this, make sure you delete this" etc. jesus effing christ!!

genital hyphys (haitch), Monday, 4 September 2006 13:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Sorry, long rant ahoy:

Ugh. Co-worker who is also good friend is so stressed and in a state he's turned into a bitter complaining machine that frankly, I don't like being around anymore which considering hes my best friend is really quite upsetting.

Last week I had to ask whoever on our NOC was on call over the weekend that an installation was going to be done they needed to be aware of. Now it is normally policy never to do weekend installations, due to there only being an on call engineer. But this was an extreme exception and I made it really REALLY clear I would never normally ask, but this time I had ZERO choice. If it'd been any of the other engineers, they'd have said "sure, thanks for letting me know" and just done the job.

But no not this guy. He bitches at me for 10 mins on the Friday, how dare I ask him to do this, it will waste his weekend waiting around for the guy to call etc etc. I'm like "um dude, you're ON CALL - you're SUPPOSED TO GET CALLS IT IS YOUR JOB". FFS. When I did his job, I did plenty of out of hours installs even though I wasnt supposed to.

Whine whine ok I'll do it but I'm NOT HAPPY martyr martyr. I assure him that at least Im sure the guy wont call til well after lunch, probably after 2pm so all is ok.

On the Saturday at about 3pm he phones me at home to bitch even more viciously at me because the installer hasn't called him yet. "I've wasted my WHOLE SATURDAY waiting for this guy". he whined.

SO I said "um, I told you he wasnt gonna call till after lunch and he has to page you anyway so its not like you have to drop everything - its not my fault you chose to sit around waiting. What do you want me to do about this?".

I had amassive headache and I Didnt Give a Shit.

Oh and the icing on the cake? The install ended up going ahead fine. Not that he bothered to update me to let me know all went well after all his pissing and moaning.

It is not a nice feeling, being fed up and pissed off at a good friend :(

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 00:24 (seventeen years ago) link

ooh ooh, can I go again?? we take on journalism and media students for a day a week. they help us with news sourcing and posting, we let them write longer feature articles and get published on our sites so they've got something for their folio. it's win-win, usually. the latest one, though, is SO USELESS that we actually have to spend the time we'd hoped to save editing his poor grammar and total lack of formatting nous. the feature he turned in has been rewritten that extensively that it shouldn't have his name on it!

genital hyphys (haitch), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:02 (seventeen years ago) link

How's he been passing his exams/essay hand-ins at uni, geez?!

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:40 (seventeen years ago) link

total mystery. god knows what the "unsuitable candidates" were like!!

genital hyphys (haitch), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:58 (seventeen years ago) link

We once had a branch manager whose grammer and spelling was so bad, he was completely unable to write readable memos. Any memos my boss received from him got sent down to me for interpretation first. His writing skills were so bad, I seriously wondered how he had ever managed to get any office jobs in the first place. He was a recruitment consultant, and if he had received an application letter from himself he would have binned it immediately for being barely readable.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 07:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Isn’t there a thread on smelly co-workers?

Anyway, there’s a lad on my team who insists on have the overhead fan on all the time. This in its self isn’t a problem; it’s the fact that he smells like trench foot and the fan wafts his stench about is. I have mentioned it to my team leader and she said it’s been noticed and the rest of the team are aware of his odour as well and that we should just see if his personal hygiene improves. I told her I wasn’t happy with this, as I am unable to eat or snack at my desk because of the smell. I was told I would have to put up with it until something could be done.

Am I being unfair on this person by complaining?

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:04 (seventeen years ago) link

i seem to remember that thread being a bit scary.

i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:11 (seventeen years ago) link

hehe

Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:13 (seventeen years ago) link

you're a very bad mang.

i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:24 (seventeen years ago) link

cf also:

Smelly Colleagues
Stinkers

Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh no, Alba, not my misuse of 'epicentre' again! Every so often I'll be doing the ironing or something and I'll think about that thread and cringe all over again. More than five years later!

Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 11:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Aaaarrrggghhh! wtf, shut up shut up shut up, you don't know shit about Sumer/Babylon/whateverthefuck. Oh god can I survive the next week without killing you? Hahahahahahaha I will never have to think about your toxic barbeque "parties" ever AGAIN! You cross-eyed matted-haired lazy-assed stamp-collecting Kansas-listening fart machine!

/ rant

whew thanks.

Jaq (Jaq), Thursday, 14 September 2006 21:00 (seventeen years ago) link

You cross-eyed matted-haired lazy-assed stamp-collecting Kansas-listening fart machine!

Wow, GROSS.

Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 14 September 2006 21:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I have a co-worker that's an annoying Texan stoner who skips out whenever there's anything to do around here, leaving everyone else to pick up the slack. Of course, his presence is more annoying than his absence. He's like a real-life Jim Anchower.

mucho (mucho), Friday, 15 September 2006 23:39 (seventeen years ago) link

A few months ago we ran a review of the then-recently released film Mission: Impossible III, starring the universally loved and respected (if diminutive) actor Tom Cruise, in the local paper I work for. This review was agency copy and as such would've been carried by the many local papers up and down the country that subscribe to the agency's service.

The review began something like this.

Tom Cruise sliding down a rope, stopping inches away from a nasty landing... Check

Enough masks, disguises and costumes to stock a fancy dress shop... Check

The famous line: "This message will self-destruct in five seconds"... Check

Close-ups of Cruise looking hot... Check

Double crosses and triple crosses... Check

So I prepare this copy for the reviews page and send it to press, ready to be printed over the weekend for the Monday edition of the paper. On Sunday evening I find a voicemail on my mobile phone from the overnight editor asking me to call him urgently. Later I find three messages of increasing anxiety on my answerphone at home as well. I ring in.

Ed: "There's something wrong with your reviews page. It's not been finished."
Me: "Really? I thought everything had been done, the page was proofed and actually we ran that copy in the week in our other editions."
Ed: "No, there's all this work that's been left undone on it."
Me: "Like what?"
Ed: "It says 'check' everywhere, you've got all these facts you need to check in the copy."
Me: "Ah..."

angle of d... (tingo), Saturday, 16 September 2006 16:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Ed: "It says 'check' everywhere, you've got all these facts you need to check in the copy."

Where have you hidden his body?

Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 16 September 2006 16:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Slightly annoying individual who models himself on Norman Wisdom was ejected from the building after being caught not once but twice on the Internet looking at porn. 1st time was on overtime on Saturday, and then he was caught again last night.

His last words were “what am I to do now?”

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 05:44 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.genarians.com/images/norman-wisdom-sized.jpg
Oh no they took my porn!

Archel (Archel), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:50 (seventeen years ago) link

ha ha, good one Archel!

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...
PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:30 (seventeen years ago) link

I don;t mind the chair or keyboard, but it really pisses me off when one of the guys in the office puts it on the floor - right fucking next to where I'm sitting. I've implemented the "you rude bastard, if you put work on the floor, I will not do it" rule.

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:51 (seventeen years ago) link

PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

Seconded.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:56 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor???

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:58 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor. He comes over with this stupid smirk on his face, drops it to the floor next to my chair and giggles to himself as he walks away. There's a letter sitting there right now that's been there since Tuesday.

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

is his name chaki?

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

does that even make sense?

chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes. You have been accused of being a floor document put-er. how do you plead?

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Are their names chaki too?

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

People who do that need to be slapped in the face. Over and over again.

I just went out in the rain to get a new desk chair, and the place WAS MOVING so they had about 5 chairs out. Now I look like a wet dog and my co-workers are laughing at my misfortune. Fuck all y'all.

molly d (mollyd), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:26 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor. He comes over with this stupid smirk on his face, drops it to the floor next to my chair and giggles to himself as he walks away. There's a letter sitting there right now that's been there since Tuesday.

Seriously, my dear, how have you not decked this dude, though? That makes me think of David Goben (that's right, fucker, google yourself. PS you also had bad, bad breath and also Patrick caught you snooping through people's trash to find shit on them).

Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN!?!???@#@

chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:17 (seventeen years ago) link

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.

luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:46 (seventeen years ago) link


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