Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (10774 of them)

total mystery. god knows what the "unsuitable candidates" were like!!

― genital hyphys (haitch), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 05:58 (seventeen years ago) link

We once had a branch manager whose grammer and spelling was so bad, he was completely unable to write readable memos. Any memos my boss received from him got sent down to me for interpretation first. His writing skills were so bad, I seriously wondered how he had ever managed to get any office jobs in the first place. He was a recruitment consultant, and if he had received an application letter from himself he would have binned it immediately for being barely readable.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 07:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Isn’t there a thread on smelly co-workers?

Anyway, there’s a lad on my team who insists on have the overhead fan on all the time. This in its self isn’t a problem; it’s the fact that he smells like trench foot and the fan wafts his stench about is. I have mentioned it to my team leader and she said it’s been noticed and the rest of the team are aware of his odour as well and that we should just see if his personal hygiene improves. I told her I wasn’t happy with this, as I am unable to eat or snack at my desk because of the smell. I was told I would have to put up with it until something could be done.

Am I being unfair on this person by complaining?

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:04 (seventeen years ago) link

How Do You Discreetly & Politely Tell Someone that their Underarm Deodorant (or, more likely, their complete lack thereof) is in Swift Need of a Reappraisal?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:08 (seventeen years ago) link

i seem to remember that thread being a bit scary.

― i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:11 (seventeen years ago) link

hehe

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:13 (seventeen years ago) link

you're a very bad mang.

― i am teh_kit! (g-kit), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:24 (seventeen years ago) link

cf also:

Smelly Colleagues
Stinkers

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 09:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh no, Alba, not my misuse of 'epicentre' again! Every so often I'll be doing the ironing or something and I'll think about that thread and cringe all over again. More than five years later!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 5 September 2006 11:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Aaaarrrggghhh! wtf, shut up shut up shut up, you don't know shit about Sumer/Babylon/whateverthefuck. Oh god can I survive the next week without killing you? Hahahahahahaha I will never have to think about your toxic barbeque "parties" ever AGAIN! You cross-eyed matted-haired lazy-assed stamp-collecting Kansas-listening fart machine!

/ rant

whew thanks.

― Jaq (Jaq), Thursday, 14 September 2006 21:00 (seventeen years ago) link

You cross-eyed matted-haired lazy-assed stamp-collecting Kansas-listening fart machine!

Wow, GROSS.

― Danny Aioli (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 14 September 2006 21:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I have a co-worker that's an annoying Texan stoner who skips out whenever there's anything to do around here, leaving everyone else to pick up the slack. Of course, his presence is more annoying than his absence. He's like a real-life Jim Anchower.

― mucho (mucho), Friday, 15 September 2006 23:39 (seventeen years ago) link

A few months ago we ran a review of the then-recently released film Mission: Impossible III, starring the universally loved and respected (if diminutive) actor Tom Cruise, in the local paper I work for. This review was agency copy and as such would've been carried by the many local papers up and down the country that subscribe to the agency's service.

The review began something like this.

Tom Cruise sliding down a rope, stopping inches away from a nasty landing... Check

Enough masks, disguises and costumes to stock a fancy dress shop... Check

The famous line: "This message will self-destruct in five seconds"... Check

Close-ups of Cruise looking hot... Check

Double crosses and triple crosses... Check

So I prepare this copy for the reviews page and send it to press, ready to be printed over the weekend for the Monday edition of the paper. On Sunday evening I find a voicemail on my mobile phone from the overnight editor asking me to call him urgently. Later I find three messages of increasing anxiety on my answerphone at home as well. I ring in.

Ed: "There's something wrong with your reviews page. It's not been finished."
Me: "Really? I thought everything had been done, the page was proofed and actually we ran that copy in the week in our other editions."
Ed: "No, there's all this work that's been left undone on it."
Me: "Like what?"
Ed: "It says 'check' everywhere, you've got all these facts you need to check in the copy."
Me: "Ah..."

― angle of d... (tingo), Saturday, 16 September 2006 16:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Ed: "It says 'check' everywhere, you've got all these facts you need to check in the copy."

Where have you hidden his body?

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 16 September 2006 16:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Slightly annoying individual who models himself on Norman Wisdom was ejected from the building after being caught not once but twice on the Internet looking at porn. 1st time was on overtime on Saturday, and then he was caught again last night.

His last words were “what am I to do now?”

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 05:44 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.genarians.com/images/norman-wisdom-sized.jpg
Oh no they took my porn!

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:50 (seventeen years ago) link

ha ha, good one Archel!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:30 (seventeen years ago) link

I don;t mind the chair or keyboard, but it really pisses me off when one of the guys in the office puts it on the floor - right fucking next to where I'm sitting. I've implemented the "you rude bastard, if you put work on the floor, I will not do it" rule.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:51 (seventeen years ago) link

PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

Seconded.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:56 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor???

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:58 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor. He comes over with this stupid smirk on his face, drops it to the floor next to my chair and giggles to himself as he walks away. There's a letter sitting there right now that's been there since Tuesday.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

is his name chaki?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

does that even make sense?

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes. You have been accused of being a floor document put-er. how do you plead?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Are their names chaki too?

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

People who do that need to be slapped in the face. Over and over again.

I just went out in the rain to get a new desk chair, and the place WAS MOVING so they had about 5 chairs out. Now I look like a wet dog and my co-workers are laughing at my misfortune. Fuck all y'all.

― molly d (mollyd), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Seriously, my dear, how have you not decked this dude, though? That makes me think of David Goben (that's right, fucker, google yourself. PS you also had bad, bad breath and also Patrick caught you snooping through people's trash to find shit on them).

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN!?!???@#@

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:17 (seventeen years ago) link

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:46 (seventeen years ago) link

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.
next time he comes over, stand up and scream "no i will not touch your cock"

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't get the problem with people putting work on your chair or keyboard. How long does it take to pick it up and put it where you'd prefer it? (Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I always leave things on people's chairs. Always. It is the accepted and expected way of doing things at my company.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I hafta say though that I no longer have any substantive complaints about anybody I work with. Sure, there's a few people with work-habit quirks, but that stuff is real minor on the annoyance scale.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I now have two part time jobs and no complaints about anyone I work with because I work TOTALLY ALONE. I'm glad they're not full time, I'd be crazy!

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

our awful student mentioned upthread (who NEVER improved at all) has gone, hooray!

― H2-H4 (H2-H4), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

chair is for urgency only, not general notice

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Thursday, 26 October 2006 23:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.

Well, that makes all the difference. The point of the inbox is for ppl to put work there. Putting it elsewhere sez "You are an ass who never sees the inbox 10 inches from his face" or "My document is the most important, and I'm too busy to put a Post-It on it."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:45 (seventeen years ago) link

(I am going to put the inbox on my chair every time I step out, and see who comments first.)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Everybody here is okay personality-wise, but this one woman is afflicted with Inexplicable Office Inefficiency Disorder, an affliction that strikes it's victims incapable of accomplishing even the simplest tasks without expending a phenomenally disproportionate amount of time and/or effort. Symptoms include: inability to see things directly in front of them (even when assisted), inefficient typing/data-entry abilities (possibly due to hunt-and-peck disorder and/or ridiculously long fingernails), a predilection for double-entry, and dragon-like coffee/cigarette breath (may not be related).

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 13:04 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm pretty amazed by the Inefficiency Disorder on display right behind my desk and especially the tendency of this extremely loud Californian to drag others into it. But most of all, I realized how stupid she was when earlier this week she said she thinks OJ is innocent.

― richardk (Richard K), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:07 (seventeen years ago) link

The glove didn't fit! They had to acquit!

― ONIMO's pet donkey jacket potato (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:16 (seventeen years ago) link

wow, didn't know that was still the Caucasian IQ test, or is it 1996?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a test? Fuck!

― ONIMO's got some revising to do (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

That same woman I mentioned above always puts the apostrophe in the wrong place in dates, ie 06' Toyota Highlander, Grammy Awards 06', etc. It is killing me.

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 19:01 (seventeen years ago) link

The programmer who sits next to me has a Star Wars "Imperial March" ringtone on his phone. It was nerdy the first time I heard it when he started two months ago, but after five or six phone calls a day, every day. I want to light saber his head off.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 27 October 2006 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Thanks for waiting til 4:20 Friday to give me the journal correx, then leaving before me, ASS EDITOR ASS.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 17 November 2006 22:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I just witnessed someone trimming their fingernails in their cubicle, accompanied by the *snip*snip* metal clipper sound.

I need a drink.

― molly d (mollyd), Monday, 20 November 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

three months pass...

argh, My co-worker just left his finished oatmeal in the microwave, forever.. .It beeps every 30 seconds after it's done and I could understand leaving it one or two beeps as your often instructed to do. but he left it in for five or six beeps and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him to take it out and goes after it wordlessy, slamming things all along. wtf? was that rude or am I just too wound up and shouldn't be bothered by constant beeping.

all of his food habits bother me, I tend to put on headphones whenever he's eating to avoid the sound but the microwave thing was just too much.

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 February 2007 14:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 10674 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.