Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Ed: "It says 'check' everywhere, you've got all these facts you need to check in the copy."

Where have you hidden his body?

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 16 September 2006 16:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Slightly annoying individual who models himself on Norman Wisdom was ejected from the building after being caught not once but twice on the Internet looking at porn. 1st time was on overtime on Saturday, and then he was caught again last night.

His last words were “what am I to do now?”

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 05:44 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.genarians.com/images/norman-wisdom-sized.jpg
Oh no they took my porn!

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 22 September 2006 07:50 (seventeen years ago) link

ha ha, good one Archel!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 22 September 2006 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:30 (seventeen years ago) link

I don;t mind the chair or keyboard, but it really pisses me off when one of the guys in the office puts it on the floor - right fucking next to where I'm sitting. I've implemented the "you rude bastard, if you put work on the floor, I will not do it" rule.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:51 (seventeen years ago) link

PUT WORK IN MY FUCKING INBOX, NOT CHAIR OR KEYBOARD, THX

Seconded.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:56 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor???

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:58 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor. He comes over with this stupid smirk on his face, drops it to the floor next to my chair and giggles to himself as he walks away. There's a letter sitting there right now that's been there since Tuesday.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

is his name chaki?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

does that even make sense?

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes. You have been accused of being a floor document put-er. how do you plead?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Are their names chaki too?

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

People who do that need to be slapped in the face. Over and over again.

I just went out in the rain to get a new desk chair, and the place WAS MOVING so they had about 5 chairs out. Now I look like a wet dog and my co-workers are laughing at my misfortune. Fuck all y'all.

― molly d (mollyd), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Seriously, my dear, how have you not decked this dude, though? That makes me think of David Goben (that's right, fucker, google yourself. PS you also had bad, bad breath and also Patrick caught you snooping through people's trash to find shit on them).

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN!?!???@#@

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:17 (seventeen years ago) link

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:46 (seventeen years ago) link

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.
next time he comes over, stand up and scream "no i will not touch your cock"

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't get the problem with people putting work on your chair or keyboard. How long does it take to pick it up and put it where you'd prefer it? (Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I always leave things on people's chairs. Always. It is the accepted and expected way of doing things at my company.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I hafta say though that I no longer have any substantive complaints about anybody I work with. Sure, there's a few people with work-habit quirks, but that stuff is real minor on the annoyance scale.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I now have two part time jobs and no complaints about anyone I work with because I work TOTALLY ALONE. I'm glad they're not full time, I'd be crazy!

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

our awful student mentioned upthread (who NEVER improved at all) has gone, hooray!

― H2-H4 (H2-H4), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

chair is for urgency only, not general notice

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Thursday, 26 October 2006 23:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.

Well, that makes all the difference. The point of the inbox is for ppl to put work there. Putting it elsewhere sez "You are an ass who never sees the inbox 10 inches from his face" or "My document is the most important, and I'm too busy to put a Post-It on it."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:45 (seventeen years ago) link

(I am going to put the inbox on my chair every time I step out, and see who comments first.)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Everybody here is okay personality-wise, but this one woman is afflicted with Inexplicable Office Inefficiency Disorder, an affliction that strikes it's victims incapable of accomplishing even the simplest tasks without expending a phenomenally disproportionate amount of time and/or effort. Symptoms include: inability to see things directly in front of them (even when assisted), inefficient typing/data-entry abilities (possibly due to hunt-and-peck disorder and/or ridiculously long fingernails), a predilection for double-entry, and dragon-like coffee/cigarette breath (may not be related).

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 13:04 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm pretty amazed by the Inefficiency Disorder on display right behind my desk and especially the tendency of this extremely loud Californian to drag others into it. But most of all, I realized how stupid she was when earlier this week she said she thinks OJ is innocent.

― richardk (Richard K), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:07 (seventeen years ago) link

The glove didn't fit! They had to acquit!

― ONIMO's pet donkey jacket potato (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:16 (seventeen years ago) link

wow, didn't know that was still the Caucasian IQ test, or is it 1996?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a test? Fuck!

― ONIMO's got some revising to do (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

That same woman I mentioned above always puts the apostrophe in the wrong place in dates, ie 06' Toyota Highlander, Grammy Awards 06', etc. It is killing me.

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 19:01 (seventeen years ago) link

The programmer who sits next to me has a Star Wars "Imperial March" ringtone on his phone. It was nerdy the first time I heard it when he started two months ago, but after five or six phone calls a day, every day. I want to light saber his head off.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 27 October 2006 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Thanks for waiting til 4:20 Friday to give me the journal correx, then leaving before me, ASS EDITOR ASS.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 17 November 2006 22:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I just witnessed someone trimming their fingernails in their cubicle, accompanied by the *snip*snip* metal clipper sound.

I need a drink.

― molly d (mollyd), Monday, 20 November 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

three months pass...

argh, My co-worker just left his finished oatmeal in the microwave, forever.. .It beeps every 30 seconds after it's done and I could understand leaving it one or two beeps as your often instructed to do. but he left it in for five or six beeps and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him to take it out and goes after it wordlessy, slamming things all along. wtf? was that rude or am I just too wound up and shouldn't be bothered by constant beeping.

all of his food habits bother me, I tend to put on headphones whenever he's eating to avoid the sound but the microwave thing was just too much.

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 February 2007 14:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Prompted by the I HAS A BUCKET! seal picture (which has made me the most popular colleague ever, btw) we had a discussion about giant seals.

Colleague A: Have you seen how many there get on the one beach? Like, zillions!
Colleague B: They're pretty violent aren't they? Have you seen them fighting?
Me: I saw a documentary where one renegade bull seal started to rape a female, then they all followed suit. It was pretty alarming.
Director: (thoughtful pause) Yeah, I want to come back as one of them.

― Madchen, Thursday, 22 February 2007 14:48 (seventeen years ago) link

!!!!

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 February 2007 14:49 (seventeen years ago) link

so seriously, tell me if I was being rude by asking him to remove his oatmeal? there's only three of us in here and I don't like either person being angry with me.

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:01 (seventeen years ago) link

My Mum leaves stuff in the microwave with it beeping every 3 seconds and it drives me absolutely bonkers. I'd start sending him an email for every beep or something.

― Madchen, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Not stupid at all, but rather INCONVENIENT: we're both pregnant at the same time. SHEEEIT! This is going to be hell at the end of the year for me!

― nathalie, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Sam, I don't think it was rude at all. People be wantin' to do things (even little things like put down their pencil and go to the m'wave) on their own timetable, and get annoyed when they're asked to adjust it, but it's not rude to ask them to if what they're doing is needlessly annoying.

― Rock Hardy, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Scene: my office, yesterday.

Marketing sales guy next to me: "Have you got a calendar on your desk I can borrow?"
Me: "Whats wrong with using the one on yr Windows desktop?"
Dumbass: "Windows has a calendar? OH HEY WOW IT DOES! This is so cool!"
Me: .....

― Trayce, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 02:20 (seventeen years ago) link

there's only one guy in our office with speakers connected to his PC who sits there playing 'hilarious' youtube clips and stuff he finds online out loud several times a day because the manager of his department is his friend/neighbour and gave him the job as a favour. some of us are annoyed about his general noise, awful laugh (he always does a big over-the-top cough/wheeze type thing to demonstrate how amused he is) and the fact that he's not here to actually do any particularly useful work at all seemingly but feel we can't really say anything to his boss for aformentioned reasons. it would make us look like boring curmudgeons too i guess. sucks.

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link

ah good he's just fucked off early for the day.

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought you worked on your own! Is this the multiple personalities thing we discussed?

― kv_nol, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 16:05 (seventeen years ago) link

omg he has actually started doing Lou & Andy impressions now.

― blueski, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought you worked on your own! Is this the multiple personalities thing we discussed?

i don't work on my own, i'm just the only person in the office who does what i do.

― blueski, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah i know

― onimo, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

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