"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."

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If it's Wisteria you might have listeria.

If it's temporarily harmlessly dark and dismal,
you've been taking Pepto-Bismol.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 9 June 2005 09:43 (nineteen years ago) link

If it glows, it be worthy of prose!

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 13:48 (nineteen years ago) link

If it blurps as it come, you've been getting some.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:50 (nineteen years ago) link

If nothing's a-comin', you must be a woman.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:52 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's a manatee,
are you sure it's a poo and you're not a pregnant manatee?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:55 (nineteen years ago) link

i cannot believe i haven't been on this thread yet

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 14:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Accentmonkey wins!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:00 (nineteen years ago) link

if it's semi-solid, i find it rather squalid

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:00 (nineteen years ago) link

if it's vivid violet, better change your diet.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:03 (nineteen years ago) link

if it's pink and mushy, you've been eating pussy

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:06 (nineteen years ago) link

If it took a quick glance, and back inside curled,
you'll have to admit this: it's a cold world.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:09 (nineteen years ago) link

when it's radioactive, it's really not attactive

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:10 (nineteen years ago) link

if it smells like biryani, you won't be getting any

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:12 (nineteen years ago) link

if it looks like vindaloo, maybe it's just deja vu.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:13 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's teal, reconsider your last meal.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:34 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's teal, reconsider your last meal.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...) (webmail), June 8th, 2005 8:40 AM. (later)

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago) link

IT'S THE CHORUS!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's lavender, get new provender

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's navy, quit eating babies.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's teal, you've broken a seal

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

IT'S THE CHORUS!

Someone should totally set this thread to music. Billy Bragg, I think.

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:39 (nineteen years ago) link

If it glimmers, flush those swimmers

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:40 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's the colour of money, don't try to spend it, honey.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's cherry, dysentery!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's speckled, you'll be heckled.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

If it bleeds, it breeds.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

SO WRONG!!!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

If it makes you shudder, call your Mudder

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

You guys are, like, the grand wizards of rhyming poop jokes. Whoda thunk it?

― slightly more subdued (kenan), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's quince, you're bound to wince

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:45 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's Granny Smith Apple, what a crapple!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:46 (nineteen years ago) link

if it floats, sell it as boats!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:46 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's hyacinth, quit eating hyacinths.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:48 (nineteen years ago) link

If it steams, turn off your high-beams!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:48 (nineteen years ago) link

If it oozes, it's Ini Kamooze's!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Borborygmic Hilarity

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:51 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's clear, though, you're my hero!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 15:57 (nineteen years ago) link

This is reminding me of the oh so lovely sign you see in some office ladies loos:
If you sprinkle
While you tinkle
Be a sweetie
Wipe the seatie!
God, just put a furry cover on the toilet lid and a frilly dolly cover over the spare roll and be fucking done with it already.

-- Trayce (spamspanke...) (webmail), June 8th, 2005 7:06 PM.

trayce i always thought that sign was directed at men. how is it even possible for a girl to sprinkle on the seatie?

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:01 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's gooey, avoid the ratatouille

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's cerulean, please don't clue me in

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's louche, LYSOL DOUCHE!!!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:29 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's over-articulated, you've been eating Rob Liefeld!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 16:32 (nineteen years ago) link

If it whistles, flush those shizzles.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:17 (nineteen years ago) link

If it bubbles, Ai! The troubles!

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:25 (nineteen years ago) link

If it should sing, clean your ring!

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:27 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's slurry, time to worry

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:42 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's maize, you'll stink for days.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:46 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's Periwinkle, you'll find it painful to tinkle

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:50 (nineteen years ago) link

If it's ebony, it's all that's left of me.

― Huk-L, Thursday, 9 June 2005 17:52 (nineteen years ago) link

That last one sounds like it could be a Donny Hathaway lyric.

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 9 June 2005 23:48 (nineteen years ago) link

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"If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." - The Lost Stanzas