Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Orhan Pamuk won what? I like him, I'd rather talk about him that the stupid annoying twunt in the call centre.

Sorry, it was for over in the Nobel Literature discussion, where people were saying only writers who didn't offend anybody won it.

Damn, here was me hoping there was n Orhan Pamuk thread.

Not gonna read the whole thread to find out, but how many of you admit to BEING an annoying co-wowrker,

i think i admitted to this a while ago.

i ain't seem to find it - maybe it was another thread - but i listed out all my "annoying coworker" sins at point. anyways here they are off the top of my head:

1) desk drumming
2) loud sighing
3) occasional singing
4) announcing when i've had a "good shit"
5) describing my more impressive poops in epic detail to my visibly uncomfortable coworkers
6) describing and detailing my sexual conquests
7) the occasional misreading emails and blaming others
8) blatantly ignoring coworkers i do not like
9) ignoring my phone
10) refusing to activate my voicemail

i think that's it.
for now.

high five! i do all of those except 1), which is disgusting.

4) announcing when i've had a "good shit"

I've just had a jolly good shit myself, old boy!

high five!

Top hole! er, ctually it was the bottom one (ba dum pssh!)

I think I might be annoying. Me and my coworker loudly rant about the rampant stupidity of this place daily. And sing. And chuck paperclips at one another. And laugh way too much for any of the sad sacks around us, I'm sure.

^ would sack^

9) ignoring my phone
10) refusing to activate my voicemail

Yeah I do that.

Me and my coworker loudly rant about the rampant stupidity of this place daily

That too. But then my manager was the other day as well so I think that's OK.

Oh, yeah. Our manager chimes in on the regular. This place is a hot mess. I cannot understate the level of stupidity here. It's a law office, but I've worked in any number of minimum wage workplaces with a higher overall level of competence and intelligence.

And ignoring the phone! I only answer for, like, 3 people.

most of the time i answer. the trick with voicemail is that i cannot confirm any revisions or approvals left via voice message. and with clients being what they are i need that sort of shit in writing.

Yeah, that phone thing is a given. If I don't have it in writing (i.e. an email) then it never happened.

I particularly ignore the phone if it's an external number, because I extremely rarely ever have to talk to clients directly, at most I email them, tbh 95% of the time I do answer it's a wrong number or some recruitment agency anyway

Right. I have a voicemail message letting callers know that they need to e-mail me if they need me to actually do anything for them. Which is 99% of all calls I receive and so I feel wholly justified in ignoring them.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR FAVORITE COLD MEDICINES ARE AND WHY YOU DON'T LIKE X OR Y AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE FINISH CHEWING YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU BROADCAST ALL THIS INANE SHIT ANYWAY!

chewing issues and eating issues have always been my main things with coworkers. this includes asking me what im eating when it is suuuuper obvious and then acting like i said it was monkey brains

i thought i was done with these horrible people forever :(
this guy is SO LOUD it jolts me when he talks.
and then there's the girl who says "yeahhhh" after EVERY SENTENCE and has this high pitched whiny 'omg but i'm so cute! yeahhhh!' voice.

It's the first week in October. Stop talking about Christmas, and stop calling me Scrooge just because I choose to celebrate Christmas via the medium of not covering my desk in spangly tat.

Uuff, that's awful, Alisa. Don't tell me they've started with the Xmas music already!?

Emily, what do you eat that gives your co-workers the monkey-brain recoils?

sardines?

Ugh I am the loud one in my office but I cant help it, I've gone half-deaf and I'm having trouble modulating my volume :(

These are past and not current coworkers, but the list included and was not limited to: a falafel. portobello mushroom sandwich. pad thai. beef w/ broccoli. hummus and pita triangles. thai peanut curry. black bean burger. pesto.

you MONSTER. :)

No carols yet, but the decorations have been discussed at some length.

I'm quite happy to admit to being the overly-sarcastic fun-hater in the office. Luckily, all but one of my colleagues think my withering sarcasm is hilarious and quite possibly believe it to be an act.

stop saying "numetrical"
it is NUMERICAL!!!

hallo that should be in NUMETAL ORDER

Similar complaint:

Stop pronouncing "Reconcile" as REE-CON-CILE!

lol tehresa didn't get the numetrical changeover email

and has this high pitched whiny 'omg but i'm so cute! yeahhhh!' voice.

would guiltily feel silent attraction to

Nobody says "downdating" anymore, but still...

WHY WHY WHY do I have to write out a long list of things that one particular employee has been doing wrong on a weekly fucking basis? Working in a rehearsal studio is NOT fucking high-level work, it's easy, do it fucking properly! And DO NOT put the latch on the door then slam it shut, so the person working the next morning has to prise it open with a crowbar.

(deep breath)

OK, got it out of my system now.
Grr.
Note to self : don't ask someone to use their common sense when they don't have any...

I just listened to a gasping, frenzied 30 minute soliloquy about a co-worker's adventure in chiropractic. She delved into every quirk and quiddity of her spinal health - each injury, sleeping habits, her history of bad posture, her marching band days and their effect on her physicality.

I guess I shouldn't complain; I could be listening to her talk about mucus. (again)

Console yourself in the knowledge she's throwing a big pile of money at someone who (claims to) believe that "spinal adjustments" (making your back crack) remove "subluxations" (mysterious things that are definitely wrong with your spine even if the x-ray can't see them) and increase the body's "innate intelligence" (oh I don't fucking know).
Scientology dressed up as medicine.

Still, it does feel great getting your joints all cracked and stretched. Not worth £30 a time though.

She could go to the top floor of where I work. I just went up there for the first time ever to get some bog roll (runny nose - toilets on other floors shut) and found a sign saying that they do 'warm stone therapy' up there.

That gives me an idea - warm towel therapy. Hugging towels straight out the tumble drier feels fantastic.

Oh man, dude, we're cool and all, but stop exclaiming "FUDGE!" when something upsets you. Every two hours or so.

hahaha he sounds funny

"Do you think on Biggie and Tupac's tombstones there's an inscription that reads 'Killing Each Other Over Music Was A Bad Idea'? Because that's what they did."

A+

"You know the only way we can take Afghanistan? It's if we roll into it like the Americans took the US. Just take them out one tribe at a time and colonize them. That's the only way. The country is gonna go how the country is gonna go."
^can't see him, but am imagining him polishing his monocle while he says this.

Yeah, American families are just dying to relocate to Afganistan.

Dying is the word.

she never shuts up

Fuck, xmas break looming brings out the WORST in everyone... panic panic panic... fuck off you twats, I'm doing two peoples jobs and trying to show other people how to do mine, because no one else does my work... I dont have time for your minor concerns! *&%%^$

she called back to talk more

So glad I have 3 weeks off after next week. POOL TIME.

what is this wierd compulsion to just talk even when your intended audience isn't giving you any cues that they're listening at all? please do stfu about your hbp, God's 'plan' for your life and the last 3 dan brown novels you read.