Anticip--er, Dreading KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE (Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Matthew Vaughn, Mark Millar)

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I don't actually have any interest in this, but I had to start this thread upon reading [url=http://www.filmfreakcentral.net/ffc/2015/02/kingsman-the-secret-service.htmlWalter Chaw's review[/url], because WHAT THE FUCK?!

Gone mostly unexamined by critics for fear of "spoiling" the film, I guess, it features a scene in which Barack Obama commits treason and is then rewarded with an explosive decapitation--which is, itself, a form of treason, I think, although I admit the modern political landscape has made the limits of treasonous disrespect of the office somewhat murky to me. It's a jaw-dropping moment in a film that has not only a foreign head of state offer anal sex as a reward to our sprightly young protagonist, but also our Bond-ish hero, Harry (Colin Firth), slaughter a few dozen unlikeable yet innocent civilians in a church. Edgy, non?

That shit right there is precedented. (cryptosicko), Thursday, 19 February 2015 04:17 (three years ago) Permalink

I'd heard about the obviously risible anal sex bit but not the Obama thing, Also, Vaughn came off as a huge asshole in a recent EW interview I'm too lazy to link to.

Simon H., Thursday, 19 February 2015 04:48 (three years ago) Permalink

I saw thus it was entertaining and utterly awful and yeah there were bits so obviously out to shock that they immediately didnt matter this will happen when u have ppl who make kick ass 2 without meeting with serious personal consequences afterwards.

local eire man (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 February 2015 06:20 (three years ago) Permalink

Goldman and Vaughan didn't do 2

oochie wally (clean version) (sic), Thursday, 19 February 2015 06:33 (three years ago) Permalink

there are movies where you research yr takedown info there are movies you dont bother this is decidedly in the letter bracket so mea culpa but

local eire man (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 February 2015 06:34 (three years ago) Permalink

our Joel thought this was the greatest movie he'd ever seen tbh

english fatuus (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 February 2015 09:12 (three years ago) Permalink

im not saying I'd have disagreed at his age neither

local eire man (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 February 2015 09:55 (three years ago) Permalink

sure, i just have to gently explain to him why i don't give much of a shit at my age

english fatuus (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 February 2015 10:02 (three years ago) Permalink

wait, is this a 12A or is Joel older than I thought. or did you break the LAW

not that sort of birdwatcher (imago), Thursday, 19 February 2015 10:07 (three years ago) Permalink

the trailer for this looked like the most amazing junk obv

not that sort of birdwatcher (imago), Thursday, 19 February 2015 10:08 (three years ago) Permalink

Joel is a few months shy of his 18th birthday

english fatuus (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 February 2015 10:09 (three years ago) Permalink

time makes fools of us all huh?

english fatuus (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 February 2015 10:09 (three years ago) Permalink

fuck

local eire man (darraghmac), Thursday, 19 February 2015 10:10 (three years ago) Permalink

the hero is called 'eggsy' ffs

bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 19 February 2015 10:11 (three years ago) Permalink

NV's post serving as uncomfortable reminder of when I judged Ben Elton's 'Stark' the best book I'd ever read.

ledge, Thursday, 19 February 2015 13:59 (three years ago) Permalink

The anal sex gag is actually "empowering," you know:

http://www.avclub.com/article/kingsman-director-matthew-vaughn-says-films-final--215474

That shit right there is precedented. (cryptosicko), Thursday, 19 February 2015 16:00 (three years ago) Permalink

Obvious, but if you liked First Class or Kick-Ass this is definitely in the same vein - fun, stupid-but-kinda-clever stuff.

Nhex, Monday, 23 February 2015 00:31 (two years ago) Permalink

nine months pass...

Did we ever get to the bottom of this

MONKEY had been BUMMED by the GHOST of the late prancing paedophile (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 November 2015 02:37 (two years ago) Permalink

i started watching this on a plane and it was so terrible i thought it was a parody and then it slowly dawned on me i was watching an actual movie

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 24 November 2015 03:59 (two years ago) Permalink

I watched it on a plane and then I watched a couple parts of it again. It is a parody, very much in the Starship Troopers vein. Maybe not quite as subversive as Verhoeven taking a crap on his own movie in the middle of making it, but I think it's pretty clear his attitude towards action films and their tropes heavily informed this film. It serves its purpose, and pretty well.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 November 2015 04:07 (two years ago) Permalink

FWIW I think First Class and Kick-Ass both think they are actual movies with stories. This one knows better which is why I was able to enjoy it. First Class is a series of generally weak set pieces with a cast that is far, far too good for the material. Kick-Ass just seems actually hateful and "subversive" in the perverse, performative, "I'm going to poop in a graveyard and call it actionism" sense.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 November 2015 04:11 (two years ago) Permalink

That last bit is like the highest praise I can give Kick-Ass actually. The first sentence above, that it thinks it is a movie with a story, is more than it deserves.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 November 2015 04:12 (two years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

Honestly the sequel should have just been this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFZkoNJ3DxE

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 20 July 2017 22:37 (seven months ago) Permalink

not really buying it Tomboto

Universal LULU Nation (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 20 July 2017 23:26 (seven months ago) Permalink

Same

imo kick ass was more of that movie than this was.

jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Thursday, 20 July 2017 23:28 (seven months ago) Permalink

ha, amusing

Nhex, Friday, 21 July 2017 00:46 (seven months ago) Permalink

Finding out Vaughan was a dyed-in-the-wool Tory made my uncomfortable feelings about this film suddenly make a lot more sense. Especially the weird attitude to class.

In the comic the it's the main character's uncle who recognises his potential and inducts him into the Secret Service. In Vaughan's version, someone of lower class can only rise above their circumstances if a member of the establishment, the elite, takes pity on them.

The fact it casts an environmentalist as the main bad guy(wot a bunch a'loonies, eh!) should've also raised a few alarm bells. Again, not the case in the comic.

I don't think it's a parody so much as a blatant propaganda exercise.

Pheeel, Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:29 (seven months ago) Permalink

Yep

jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:30 (seven months ago) Permalink

Like I hate political analysis of movies as much as anyone on ilx but Vaughan's politics are pretty blatant throughout

It's ok tho. Movies as political vehicles are just long, expensive opinions.

jk rowling obituary thread (darraghmac), Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:31 (seven months ago) Permalink

Yeah, Birth Of A Nation, Triumph Of The Will, those films were just some guy's opinion, right?

Not that Kingsman is anywhere near that level obviously, but I feel like when this kind of thing is masquerading as harmless popcorn fluff it can have an insidious effect. Like it's normalising those shitty opinions by slipping them in between all the wacky spy antics.

It made me feel decidedly grubby about enjoying some of Vaughan's work in the past, that's for sure.

Pheeel, Saturday, 22 July 2017 20:59 (seven months ago) Permalink

didn't know that. what a shame! wouldn't have guessed it necessarily from the maker of Stardust and X-Men: First Class. still, his movies are fun and i'll continue to enjoy them until he goes aging Frank Miller

Nhex, Saturday, 22 July 2017 21:40 (seven months ago) Permalink

This movie is sorta reprehensible garbage

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 23 July 2017 00:02 (six months ago) Permalink

sorry neil and "music begins with you", the word "stardust" must always be followed by "the super wizard"

The Saga of Rodney Stooksbury (rushomancy), Sunday, 23 July 2017 00:05 (six months ago) Permalink

three months pass...

Hey the sequel

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 30 October 2017 18:38 (three months ago) Permalink

Is the worst thing ever made

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 30 October 2017 18:39 (three months ago) Permalink

Talk about vaporware hype. Two weeks of overdrive ads here and then silence.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 30 October 2017 18:40 (three months ago) Permalink

Vaughn has stated that he and Goldman have a third Kingsman film planned.[55] In the September 2017 edition of Total Film, Egerton revealed that his personal choice for the role of the villain of Kingsman 3 is Dwayne Johnson.[56] He also went on to suggest that this sequel may be the last, as he envisions the Kingsman franchise to be a trilogy.[57]

Vaughn has also revealed that with the success of the Kingsman films, he is interested in making a Statesman spin-off.[58]

great...

drejelire, Monday, 30 October 2017 18:43 (three months ago) Permalink

can't believe the sequel to this terrible movie sucks wtf

proton, neutron, electron and crouton (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 30 October 2017 18:46 (three months ago) Permalink

the trailer was terrible.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 30 October 2017 18:58 (three months ago) Permalink

General reservations about tone and content aside, I look at this as I have every Millar property/adaptation from the past 15 years or so and ask: who wanted this?

Winky Carrothers (Old Lunch), Monday, 30 October 2017 18:58 (three months ago) Permalink

Kick-Ass is honestly the worst, most unpleasant book I've ever read. I think the answer is disgusting, miserable misanthropes.

albvivertine, Monday, 30 October 2017 23:19 (three months ago) Permalink

the movie was a lot better and more enjoyable than the book because it greatly toned down the shittiness of the characters. at least the first one, didn't see the sequel
and kingsman was good dumb fun, the way james bond movies used to be

Nhex, Monday, 30 October 2017 23:23 (three months ago) Permalink

The first one has enough charm imo to get over the disastrously shitty parts

The second one is shitty parts all the way down

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 30 October 2017 23:40 (three months ago) Permalink

the movie was a lot better and more enjoyable than the book because it greatly toned down the shittiness of the characters. at least the first one, didn't see the sequel

agree on all of this. Goldman and Vaughan didn't do the sequel

and kingsman was good dumb fun, the way james bond movies used to be

nah. too pastiched, too smug, mainly concerned with saying that shooting lots of ppl = the moral upper hand, and the "Hello Mr Man, save the world and you can, 'ow you say, do me up the pooper?" ending ruined what goodwill was left after a fairly incoherent climactic act

the dumb fun felt hollow early and evaporated quickly. if it's on TV and you turn it off 60-90 minutes in you can probably come out of it OK

shackling the masses with plastic-wrapped snack picks (sic), Monday, 30 October 2017 23:46 (three months ago) Permalink

Yeah I'd agree with all of that

This....is so much worse. So much worse. I walked home in a daze tbh.

Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Monday, 30 October 2017 23:54 (three months ago) Permalink

the trailers for this made it seem like it would be really big with an alt-right crowd.

scott seward, Tuesday, 31 October 2017 12:30 (three months ago) Permalink

a refreshing change from other comic book movies

Pope Urban the Legend (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 31 October 2017 12:40 (three months ago) Permalink

ding!

imago, Tuesday, 31 October 2017 12:47 (three months ago) Permalink

NV thinking My Friend Dahmer is an instructional guide

shackling the masses with plastic-wrapped snack picks (sic), Tuesday, 31 October 2017 15:36 (three months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

woo this is astonishing

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:16 (one month ago) Permalink

a coke-addled, down-and-out elton john watching a guy get torn to shreds by robot dogs was probably my favourite part

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:20 (one month ago) Permalink

i hated it, obv

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:20 (one month ago) Permalink

the hero of this movie goes on a mission to finger a woman and the audience watch in awestruck horror as the camera follows his fingers down her torso and into her vagina, where his techno-condom-clad finger deposits a little tracking device

what the fuck

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:26 (one month ago) Permalink

product placement for fox news and the sun ffs

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:39 (one month ago) Permalink

It was horrific

A movie is either well or poorly made and all that except for this one which should see all involved hanged over the thames

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 December 2017 20:49 (one month ago) Permalink

taron egerton is such a weaselly little shit, how did anyone think he could carry a movie

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 21:00 (one month ago) Permalink

this movie has keith allen in it fer cryin out loud

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 28 December 2017 21:08 (one month ago) Permalink

Yeah this film was weapons-grade hot garbage. I didnt see it by choice or pay to see it mind you but ugh. The worst part was seeing Pedro Pascal humiliate himself by being in this crap.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 29 December 2017 01:13 (one month ago) Permalink

I dunno can one be so blithe about just throwing out a nomination for worst part with this one tbh

You'd want a panel of experts watching it again and making empirical arguments.

Gluck getting volunteers for that gig wha

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 01:46 (one month ago) Permalink

well I know what I’m watching the next time I’m on an airplane

El Tomboto, Friday, 29 December 2017 01:52 (one month ago) Permalink

if you all hated it this much it really must be something

El Tomboto, Friday, 29 December 2017 01:52 (one month ago) Permalink

This is one of those times tb and look I know I've done you wrong in the past but this is utter

And unlike the first one fwiw

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 01:53 (one month ago) Permalink

Good post that

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 01:54 (one month ago) Permalink

This and Baby Driver are great if you dig "genre film"/Fantastic Fest-style exploitation stuff, idk

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 29 December 2017 01:59 (one month ago) Permalink

lol there is no way this is in any way as good as baby driver.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:02 (one month ago) Permalink

nah, it's not, but I enjoyed myself

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:02 (one month ago) Permalink

the church sequence, Christ, I'm legit appalled a movie got made that contains a scene of that level of gleeful brutality visited on anonymous everypeople who aren't even ostensibly bad guys

How the fuck is this a franchise

Xp yo I love fantastic fest sploitotrash but idk this felt leagues removed from say Hobo With A Shotgun

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 29 December 2017 02:03 (one month ago) Permalink

i mean, the movie is so gleefully ott that i don't think of it as *that* diff than Hobo with the obvious exceptions of the budget and marketing and lack of a moral center

mag gerwig! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:07 (one month ago) Permalink

Baby driver was total shit but in a much less offensive and awful way that the kingsman sequel

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:09 (one month ago) Permalink

Ya I guess I feel like proper exploito needs a paper thin moral center and that without it you've just got a bloodfeast that for me went unredeemed

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 29 December 2017 02:14 (one month ago) Permalink

The moral centre of these movies is particularly British successful/'it' crowd maybe

It's there but it's absolutely impenetrable to anyone human

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:18 (one month ago) Permalink

Ya, to echo upthread that whole Glasto scene (and ugh, the fingerbang part no no no no) comes to mind.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:20 (one month ago) Permalink

The fingerbang scene isnt far off a logical follow-on from reward stranger anal in first movie

But lookit this is rly overanalysis because it's charmless dreck of a type that sits on the lowest rung alongside...imma say the Eiger sanction yes that bad

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:24 (one month ago) Permalink

I’m never going to watch the Kick-Ass movies fwiw. It sounds like the Kingsman sequel is more in that vein?

El Tomboto, Friday, 29 December 2017 02:33 (one month ago) Permalink

Yep that's pretty accurate imo

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:36 (one month ago) Permalink

Someday we'll both like a movie I promise

remember the lmao (darraghmac), Friday, 29 December 2017 02:37 (one month ago) Permalink

The Eiger Sanction was kind of fascinating as I recall. I watched it when I was probably 14 though

El Tomboto, Friday, 29 December 2017 02:41 (one month ago) Permalink

ITT Deems and Tombot agree on a movie

El Tomboto, Friday, 29 December 2017 02:44 (one month ago) Permalink

Nice

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 29 December 2017 03:08 (one month ago) Permalink

if you all hated it this much it really must be something


oh it’s something alright

i’ll say this for it, it’s def the most fully-realised screen translation of mark millar’s singular brand of poison

h.p. minecraft (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 29 December 2017 07:37 (one month ago) Permalink

one month passes...

The sequel was so long they called back the "save the world/get butt sex" line twice.

...some of y'all too woke to function (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 9 February 2018 05:02 (one week ago) Permalink

i cant remember the last time i hated a movie this much. i didnt like the first one much at all, but this was egregiously horrible and stupid and annoying

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 February 2018 07:59 (one week ago) Permalink


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