THIS GIANT BIRD WILL DEVOUR US ALL

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Mitch: cnn.com: bird the size of a small plane spotted!
Jess: !!!
Mitch: no fooling
Jess: good lord
Mitch: i think this deserves an ilx thread
Mitch: Schemf and Rob Macdonald of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said there had been several sightings over the past year and a half of a Steller's eagle, a fish-eating bird that can weigh 20 pounds (10 kg) and have a wingspan of eight feet (2.60 meters), the newspaper reported.
Mitch: the one they say the see now tho has a wingspan of 4.6 meters!
Jess: THIS GIANT BIRD WILL DEVOUR US ALL
Mitch: the cnn page already has a picture of big bird on it
Mitch: what if it falls into the hands of the axis of tweevil?
Mitch: i can see it now: thousand of kittens riding huge birds
Jess: ARRGGGH
Mitch: headline: "ARRGGGH!"
Jess: i cannot believe I’ve been up for 3 hours already this morning
Mitch: fucking net thing wont let me find the name of the page
Mitch: oh screw the ilx post, i'll let hanle y do it

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 20 October 2002 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

gwaihir's arrival = eucatastrophe hurrah

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 October 2002 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/West/10/18/offbeat.alaska.bird.reut/index.html

― Graham (graham), Sunday, 20 October 2002 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

good to know that nature is fighting back...the environment shall not be easily destroyed by evil corporations.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 20 October 2002 14:42 (twenty-three years ago)

on the right side of the bird it says "microsoft", julio. (the left side is an ad for the new jennifer aniston movie).

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 20 October 2002 14:44 (twenty-three years ago)

oh no ITS TOO LATE MITCH! they've got us all!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 20 October 2002 14:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Quetzalcoatl is BACK and badder than ever! Wait'll that sumbitch's tail catches fire, then you'll see some action! Yee-haw! Jess this is the best thread-starter of all time, because it heralds...the last times

― J0hn Darn1ell3, Sunday, 20 October 2002 14:53 (twenty-three years ago)

so i *could be* the last reasonable man on earth!! (go Q go!!)

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Any chance it was an albatross? One page I found says they can have a wingspan of up to 13 feet, and will literally fly thousands of miles per day in search of food.

Another page I googled says there's an albatross sanctuary/research center in...wait for it...Dunedin!

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:03 (twenty-three years ago)

well duh

― hivemind e. smith (mark s), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

That explains the shifty-eyed looks of everyone there when I asked 'what they were up to these days.'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

in an effort to appease this voracious & terrible god-bird I move that "Surfin' Bird" be immediately ratified as national anthem for all nations of the world! will someone please second this motion, I feel that time is of the essence

― J0hn Darn13ll3, Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:30 (twenty-three years ago)

But what if the bird prefers something mellower?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:31 (twenty-three years ago)

failing that: "hotel california"

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Why is the Dunedin hive-mind testing its new production in Alaska?

If the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service can't tell the difference between an albatross and an eagle, we're in even bigger trouble.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:34 (twenty-three years ago)

"why do astronauts
lose calcium in their spines
staring wistfully at south america
tracing the nazca lines?"

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE Q STANDS FOR??

("martin", there are only seven places and seven birds, didn't you get the hivememo?)

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Other possible new anthems: Operation Eagle Lie by Asian Dub Foundation (this can hardly be bettered as this story's theme), Somebody Shot My Eagle by CL Blast (possibly not conciliatory enough), The Great Speckled Bird by Johnny Cash, Big White Bird by Kevin Coyne, A Great Albatross by Ivor Cutler, Big Bird by Eddie Floyd, When The Eagle Flies by Muddy Waters.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)

the DJ Martian Skidmoraneko type-generator is getting out of hand again

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:43 (twenty-three years ago)

But the character twist to distinguish me from Martian is that those are all songs I have heard.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:53 (twenty-three years ago)

hard to beat "Fly Like an Eagle" for apocalyptic AOR, I figure

mark s you quote the lines that made a Brazen Hussies lvr outta me only to point out that they are the very lines that spell doom for us all!!! no wonder Q didn't make the ICA, he was busy taking on godhood

― J0hn Darn13ll3, Sunday, 20 October 2002 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

We should start a Brazen Hussies fanpage or something. I actually have all the EPs thanks to Dave Q's random mailing campaign!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 October 2002 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

'He's huge, he's huge, he's really, really big'

ph34r

― vic (vicc13), Sunday, 20 October 2002 16:17 (twenty-three years ago)

doom for us all!!!

http://www.wendyk.org/city.jpg

(sadly, no photos of birds on my computer, a puppy will have to do)

― lyra (lyra), Sunday, 20 October 2002 17:13 (twenty-three years ago)

dave q the winged serpent: one bird with seven limbs

http://www.creepyclips.com/pics/q1.jpg

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 20 October 2002 17:18 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm trying to figure out which is more frightening: the winged serpent or the dog from "lassie" levitating over satellite dishes

― geeta (geeta), Sunday, 20 October 2002 17:33 (twenty-three years ago)

laughing at larry cohen's pre-cog genius won't be so funny when The Stuff hits supermarkets next year

― jones (actual), Sunday, 20 October 2002 17:44 (twenty-three years ago)

making sure I've got the cosmology right here: sightings of a bird the size of a small plane over Alaska are actually proof incontrovertible that our own Dave Q is Quetzalcoatl, the transformed man-god who emerged from the fire as a plumed serpent and is now overlord of the universe

this means that when the world ends in fire, as it will quite soon evidently, we will hear the sweet strains of "All I Want Is You" keening from every hill & valley

Christ it's a great time to be alive

― J0hn Darn13ll3, Sunday, 20 October 2002 17:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I just drew a pic of this, but graffiti.net isn't working :(

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 October 2002 18:17 (twenty-three years ago)

haha you fules have no idea about dunedin & it's clandestine HAAST'S EAGLE skeletons (we kept Ned away from the museums we did).

― Ess Kay (esskay), Sunday, 20 October 2002 18:20 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, but we have the Griffin! I've seen it*

*well, this weird looking chimney that looked a bit like a griffin

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 October 2002 18:28 (twenty-three years ago)

http://home.graffiti.net/buglebear/bigbird.gif

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 October 2002 18:56 (twenty-three years ago)

http://home.graffiti.net/buglebear/bigbird.gif

is what i meant to do

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 October 2002 19:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I did too go to the museums! And without you a misdirecting tour guide even.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 October 2002 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned appears to be writing in English, yet following the grammar rules of Esperanto.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 October 2002 13:03 (twenty-three years ago)

The joys of a misplaced word or two. AND THUS YOU MOCK ME, an innocent.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 21 October 2002 15:48 (twenty-three years ago)

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