worst 90s song that was mentioned in the infamous "Life is a Highway" thread

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everybody remembers where they were during this thread: tom cochrane's "life is a highway" vs alannah myles' "black velvet"

but there were other, equally bad offenders dropped throughout the thread. a time capsule of suck with a few gold nuggets. and it's your job to pick the worst...why? cos....well......

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart 8
Marc Cohn - Walking in Memphis 3
Eyehategod - Man is Too Ignorant to Exist (all who vote for this will be killed) 2
Alias - More Than Words Can Say 2
Styx - Show Me the Way 2
Bette Midler - From a Distance 1
Sonia Dada - You Don't Treat Me No Good No More 1
Faith No More - Epic 1
Dino - Romeo 1
New Kids - Step by Step 1
Heart - All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You 1
Wilson Phillips - Hold On 1
Expose - I'll Never Get Over You 0
Aerosmith - What it Takes 0
Salt 'n Pepa - Shoop (all who vote for this will be maimed) 0
Cher - The Shoop Shoop Song 0
Black Box - Everybody Everybody 0
Extreme - Get the Funk Out 0
Extreme - More Than Words 0
Maxi Priest - Close to You 0
Oleta Adams - Get Here 0
Paula Abdul - The Promise of a New Day 0
Paul Abdul - Rush, Rush 0
Paul Abdul - Straight Up 0
Extreme - Policalamity 0
Tom Cochrane - The Boy Inside the Man 0


Neanderthal, Monday, 14 March 2016 21:52 (eight years ago) link

"Achy Breaky Heart." The very first time that I remember ever hearing a hit song and thinking something along the lines of wtf is wrong with people?!

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Monday, 14 March 2016 21:55 (eight years ago) link

when that stupid song came out every kid in my Sunday school class sang that shit and i got to the car one morning relieved to be free of it and my mom goes "hi son, i get new tape, want to hear?" and I see the mullet on the cover and go nooooooOOOOOOoooooooo!

Neanderthal, Monday, 14 March 2016 21:57 (eight years ago) link

I always took BRC's role in Mulholland Drive as Lynch's way of covertly saying "fuck you" to the culture that failed to keep Twin Peaks alive as it celebrated shit like "Achy Breaky Heart."

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Monday, 14 March 2016 22:01 (eight years ago) link

I'm p sure Alias and Styx are in this poll with the exact same song

i;m the worst poster e9er (Drugs A. Money), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 20:22 (eight years ago) link

Anyways, I was all about voting for B Midler here but that last option really is a doozy

i;m the worst poster e9er (Drugs A. Money), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 20:23 (eight years ago) link

styx, bette midler, billy ray cyrus

nomar, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 20:37 (eight years ago) link

i have never heard Extreme's Get the Funk Out, but i am confidently voting for it

also wtf at nominating epic

mookieproof, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 20:41 (eight years ago) link

god Walking in Memphis is such butt. even Michael Bolton probably thinks that dude's too chesty.

evol j, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 20:50 (eight years ago) link

xpost I listed all the songs that got a mention in that thread, even the ones I liked. I should have posted a threatening message at the end of Epic or that Maxi Priest song too.

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 20:58 (eight years ago) link

(all who vote for this will be killed)

nice knowing yall

tremendous crime wave and killing wave (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:07 (eight years ago) link

p sure you of all people wouldn't vote for EHG as the worst song in any poll so I think yer safe

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:08 (eight years ago) link

oh fuck I haven't slept much in several days and I registered "best" so I voted EHG

I will take my punishment like a soldier

tremendous crime wave and killing wave (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:09 (eight years ago) link

i can't stop laughing about paul abdul

La Lechuza (La Lechera), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:12 (eight years ago) link

that she was a thing once?

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:13 (eight years ago) link

Billy Ray Cyrus is a crime against humanity

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:16 (eight years ago) link

that was a KMFDM song right

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:16 (eight years ago) link

no just that it says Paul Abdul

La Lechuza (La Lechera), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:16 (eight years ago) link

oh haha i didn't even notice that after you explained it. must be seeing phantom "a"s today.

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:17 (eight years ago) link

That shitty New Kids song birthed a ton of 90s Disney crap, so I'm voting for that one.

Darin, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:25 (eight years ago) link

BRC birthed actual Disney crap

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:26 (eight years ago) link

lol

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:26 (eight years ago) link

now imagining Billy Ray Cyrus in labor

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:27 (eight years ago) link

ha!

Darin, Tuesday, 15 March 2016 21:27 (eight years ago) link

What inspired this reminiscence of a thread from 2013?

This is probably Heart vs Styx. Both bands that have done things I like a lot, both represented by what I think are their worst songs.

I enjoy these to various degrees:


Paul Abdul - Straight Up
Extreme - Politicalamity
Alias - More Than Words Can Say
Faith No More - Epic
Aerosmith - What it Takes

Hi! I'm twice-coloured! (Sund4r), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 22:16 (eight years ago) link

Oddly, I thought that I did remember that thread well but I did not remember all of these Youtubes in it.

Hi! I'm twice-coloured! (Sund4r), Tuesday, 15 March 2016 22:18 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Thursday, 31 March 2016 00:01 (eight years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Friday, 1 April 2016 00:01 (eight years ago) link

She said, "Tell me are you a Christian, child?"
And I said, "Ma'am, I am tonight!"
"Because if you weren't," she said, "you should probably avoid Germantown."

pplains, Monday, 11 April 2016 19:37 (eight years ago) link

"She said, 'Tell me are you Christian, child, because honestly 'Marc Cohn' sounds pretty Jewy" didn't scan all that well.

bodhran run run run (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 11 April 2016 19:43 (eight years ago) link

j/k about Germantown. It's just, you know, not a lot of Liberty Cabbage grown there.

pplains, Monday, 11 April 2016 21:31 (eight years ago) link


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