best 'Steve Wright in the Afternoon' character

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Wright_(DJ)#Characters_and_sketches

-Mr Angry (from Purley): usually ranting down the phone line, ending with "...it makes me so angry... I could throw the phone down!" followed by the receiver crashing down.
-Diamond Geezer: supposed DJ/mixer, and voice for the track "Mr Spoons" (David Spurr)
-The "Down-the-Pan" Daleks: two 'retired' Daleks in improbable domestic situations
-'Easy Life'
-Dr Fish-Filleter: source of much innuendo about fishy fingers, etc. Had his own 'jingle' sung by Steve and his Posse when the interview had ended ("Fillet of Fish, Fillet of Fish. O' Give me Fish to Fillet!").
-The Boss: a gentleman with a very deep Caribbean voice who only ever said "yes Sir, Mr Wright sir" to everything he was asked.
-Edward the Garrulous Fencing Champion: his catchphrase is "I epee you"
-Mr Food ("...and that's before my tea!")
-Gervais the Hairdresser ("Keep your tongue out!")
-Useless Weather Girl: a parody of the brand of 'bimbo'-esque weather girls seen on British television in the late 1980s. She doesn't know much about meteorology.
-Maggot – an odd character with a high pitched voice.
-'Mick and Keef': not the real Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, but impersonations (played by Phil Cornwell, who later did the characters in Stella Street). Bill Wyman also made occasional appearances.
-David Bowie: again, not the real David Bowie but an impersonation; "Bowie" frequently asked "tell us what the time is" (adjusted slightly at Christmas to "tell us what the Christmas time is").
-Linda Lust: her catchphrase is "Spatula" in a sultry, sensual voice.
-Llama Man: Spoof signature tune: "Llama man, Llama man, does everything a llama can. He can bleat! He can trot! He's got everything a llama's got."
-Motorcycle Courier – who left his motorbike running and would scream "SIGN 'ERE PLEASE!" from his motorcycle helmet regardless of what was asked of him.
-Mr Mad: , would phone in, refer to Steve as "Pal" and would ask "Guess where I'm livin' today?" then proceed to name improbable locations (like inside the mace of the House of Commons or inside Paul McCartney's guitar). Then would end the call with vocal whistles and beeps and his catchphrases were "Ravin' mad, pal!" and "Check up from the neck up".
-Mr Paranoid
-The Parking Man – constantly shouting two instructions 'You're Alright, You're Alright' and 'Left Hand Down' to someone trying to reverse their van into a parking space outside the 'window' of the studio. Would sometimes end in a calamitous crashing followed by silence and then 'You're Alright!'--
-The Car Cleaner – would phone, but would be impossible to understand anything he (Wright) was saying as he would be cleaning his car. The noise of the vacuum would drown out the majority of the conversation, leaving only innuendo-based snippets.
-Pretentious Music Journalist: supposedly based on a number of 1980s rock/pop reviewers (perhaps especially Simon Reynolds, David Stubbs and Paul Oldfield of Melody Maker), he reads a little too much into a band's songs with over-complex and artistically pretentious monologues where a simple explanation would suffice, e.g., "They generate a sonic cathedral of sound" means "loud".
-Sid the Manager: supposedly Steve Wright's agent, a genial but often confused duffer
-The Men of Kent
-Voiceover Man – converses with Steve and 'the posse' about everyday events in then style of an MFI/DFS television advert voice-over.
-The Perv: heard tapping at the window calling "Yoohoo! Hello Stevie! I'm in the corridor..." and describing his startling attire.
-Damien the Social Worker
-Ruth McCrum from Northern Ireland who told Wright "you've got the perfect face for Radio"
-Fred Crosswell, the cinema manager
-The Geese, out-of-control Canada geese loose in the studio; "can we get the geese out of here please".
-John Bowl, based on the journalist John Cole, who would often lose his temper with Steve, addressing him as a "dough head", and would also always say "Listen, young man, I'll have a little bit less of your lip".
-Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros, a stuntman who attempted remarkable feats with a staggering lack of success.
-Malcolm from the Arts Council, a well spoken Arts Council official, who would address Wright as "Stephen" and threaten to pull the show's funding when the DJ teased him.
-Mr Contestant, a hopeless call-in quiz-show contestant who would always blow the final part of the answer under time pressure and end with the same nonsensical answer, like "Name the 4 Mutant Ninja Turtles"... "Donatello... Michelangelo... Rafael and, erm, ahhhh" "Got to hurry you" "...eerrmmm, ohhhhhh Hartley Hare!"
-Dave Double Decks. An over-enthusiastic local radio DJ "Haha, yess indeeedy !" was his catchphrase

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― soref, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 01:33 (eight years ago) link