Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

My *arse*.

Has this ever been the case?

― Lara, Monday, 21 October 2002 15:52 (twenty-three years ago)

yes.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 21 October 2002 15:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you more of the 'out of sight, out of mind' view, Lara?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 October 2002 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Absence makes the heart melodramatic.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 21 October 2002 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

When?

I usually miss someone for, like, a day. And then suddenly the fact that they are preying on my mind begins to irritate me. And then I become irritated by something I remember them to have said and at about Day 3 I am *HATING* them.

Don't leave me all alone in the world. I can't be the only one?

― Lara, Monday, 21 October 2002 15:57 (twenty-three years ago)

perhaps you simply don't like people.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 21 October 2002 15:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Nick - I'm more of the 'out of sight, out of my bed - damn' view.

― Lara, Monday, 21 October 2002 15:59 (twenty-three years ago)

It's often only when you see them again that you realise.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 21 October 2002 16:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that your heart has "grown fonder"

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 21 October 2002 16:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what if it's merely "grown more tolerant"

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 21 October 2002 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Jess - I do like people (hmmm).

I was just wondering if anyone else out there suffers this kind of insanity when they miss someone.

― Lara, Monday, 21 October 2002 16:01 (twenty-three years ago)

But why do I suffer so in the interim, Ronan?

I had a long distance relationship with a boyfried a couple of years ago and I used to become so indifferent to him, the longer we spent apart, that he used to have to convince me to come and visit him...

― Lara, Monday, 21 October 2002 16:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Sometimes it does, sometimes it's what you need.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 21 October 2002 16:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Tom - I miss you. Grrrrrrrr....

― Lara, Monday, 21 October 2002 16:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, it kind of does.

― Mandee, Monday, 21 October 2002 16:17 (twenty-three years ago)

I seem to remember hearing about a study that showed that "Out of sight, out of mind" was by far the most common phenomenon. Obviously, there are exceptions, and just because someone is on your mind does not mean your heart will grow fonder. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow tentacles and horns.

― Stuart, Monday, 21 October 2002 17:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Such a bullshit line. My girlfriend in high school used this one on me before she went to France for the summer. It apparently made her legs spread wider when she was there. She returned and told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted to see other people.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 October 2002 17:51 (twenty-three years ago)

But those other people were now back in France.... and assuming she'd said the same thing to THEM...?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 21 October 2002 17:52 (twenty-three years ago)

probably after she slept with half of paris.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 October 2002 17:54 (twenty-three years ago)

probably after she slept with half of paris. yup 12 years ago and i still hold a grudge.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 October 2002 17:54 (twenty-three years ago)

If I go away on holiday, I'm not sure I want to hear that you all grew fonder of me when I wasn't posting, likely as that sounds. I just miss people I like.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 21 October 2002 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I used to think 'absence makes the heart go wander.' but it doesn't if it doesn't. sometimes it actually doesn't. [I mean, like, the opposite of that one sometimes, I suppose].

but I don't really see the point of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.'

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 21 October 2002 18:25 (twenty-three years ago)

is anyone still reeling over this?

perhaps you simply don't like people.
-- jess ([email protected]), Today 12:58 PM. (dubplatestyle)

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 21 October 2002 18:50 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah i found that funny as well.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 21 October 2002 18:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder

― C J (C J), Monday, 21 October 2002 18:58 (twenty-three years ago)

hey, why is that so shocking mark? i mean, i don't like people. it's not a dodge or an act or anything: they're just by and large hateful, hurtful, horrible brutes who don't deserve the company or attentions/affections of a sensetive flower like myself.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:13 (twenty-three years ago)

but how can you can you be sensitive when you refuse to enjoy undie rap.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:18 (twenty-three years ago)

don't malign the flower of my womanhood.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:19 (twenty-three years ago)

"Absence makes the legs spread wider" is perhaps the best thing I've heard today.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 21 October 2002 19:34 (twenty-three years ago)

haha because i thought you were admonishing her. ie "perhaps you simply don't like people, unlike the rest of us"

now i understand. normal order has been restored.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 21 October 2002 20:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder in that one forgets the horrid annoying things that a person does in every day life and is free to fantasise (I use this in the psychobabble way, rather than the sexual way) and project onto that person. If they're not there, they can be anything definite, right? You can forget about how annoying/ boring/ irritating they are. You can imagine them to be totally perfect.
That said, it's easier to have a sneaky snog when you're not in the same town.

― Madeleine (Madeleine), Monday, 21 October 2002 21:19 (twenty-three years ago)

For fuck's sake, if you become indifferent to your boyfriend you ought to let him know and end the relationship. Perhaps this thread should be renamed "Emotional Bullying: Classic or Dud?", or maybe "What Is a Passive-Agressive Bitch and Can We Eat It?"

― Kris (aqueduct), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 00:34 (twenty-three years ago)

"passive-aggressive bitch" = A caramel truffle dipped in nougat and white chocolate. Yes, you can eat it.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 02:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Blimey...

Passive aggressive bitch? There is nothing passive nor aggressive about me. And emotional bullying does not enter the fray. Kris, you were the one who decided to put a malicious spin on things. Are you militant by nature?

― Lara, Tuesday, 22 October 2002 09:14 (twenty-three years ago)

You can imagine them to be totally perfect.
Arrgh, yes, annoyingly so.

I don't know Lara, it depends on the person.( Wussy get-out non-answer). But you do need the same level of interest, or non-interest on both sides to make a long distance relationship viable.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I reckon it depends on the level of fondness in the first place. My boyf works away at least one night every week and although it's horrible and I miss him, it does make me appreciate him more when he gets back.

― Plinky (Plinky), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Anna - I only used the ex-boyf tale as an illustration. I was thinking about more about generally missing someone as opposed to the emotional mine-field of long-distance relationships. My inspiration came from talking to my sister for the first time in two weeks.

I think what I’m doing is resenting the person who has the emotional hold over me. This kind of mirrors your sentiment in using the word : ‘annoyingly’. Kind of.

― Lara, Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:23 (twenty-three years ago)

I am not Juliana Hatfield.

― Lara, Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Are you Juliana Hatfield?

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:26 (twenty-three years ago)

No, I'm not Juliana Hatfield either.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:32 (twenty-three years ago)

(although I have no idea how Julianna Hatfield popped up here anyway. Enlighten me?)

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I think what I’m doing is resenting the person who has the emotional hold over me.

Melanie Klein/Dr Vick to thread!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

She released a song called 'I Hate My Sister'.

That's the reason I said I wasn't her. Although there are more obvious differences.

― Lara, Tuesday, 22 October 2002 10:35 (twenty-three years ago)

no it just makes the heart go weirder

― hellbaby (hellbaby), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

i agree it depends on the person and your relationship with them. many of the people i care about are far from me at the moment, and with some, i know the distance has given me 'rose-tinted' memories of them, others i miss but they remain 'normal' and not idealised or anything, with all faults included.

― donna (donna), Tuesday, 22 October 2002 19:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I think it does, although it does take a lot of work. Mind you I miss my other half just with him going to work (yes im that sad!).

― Fuzzy Wuzzy (Madam Plinky), Wednesday, 23 October 2002 12:25 (twenty-three years ago)

"Abcess makes the heart grow rounder."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 23 October 2002 13:25 (twenty-three years ago)

'Ass crack makes the bum feel curvier.'

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 October 2002 14:01 (twenty-three years ago)

God that's just filth.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 23 October 2002 14:09 (twenty-three years ago)

You love it, you mad Irishman.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 October 2002 14:11 (twenty-three years ago)

God that's just filth.

― Graham (graham), Sunday, 27 October 2002 17:43 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

I am not Juliana Hatfield.
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), October 22nd, 2002.
Are you Juliana Hatfield?
-- Tim (hopkinsti...), October 22nd, 2002.
No, I'm not Juliana Hatfield either.
-- Anna (Fieldingann...), October 22nd, 2002.

(although I have no idea how Julianna Hatfield popped up here anyway. Enlighten me?)
-- Anna (Fieldingann...), October 22nd, 2002.

What a great exchange of posts!

― the bellefox, Tuesday, 28 February 2006 21:24 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.