stubborn parents

i drive back up to shropshire tomorrow, probably till the weekend at least: the immediate threat has receded, and my mum is self-evidently a lot better, but it all all happen again in three-to-five months time unless...

ah shit mark. another toughie.
guess you come out and say what you have just said...both paragraphs.
there is never an easy way to deal with this sort of stuff. i always found it came out better in the long run if i was just as honest as i could be, and i think what you have said is pretty honest and from the heart.
have you spoken with your sister about it? i mean, how to say what you feel.?

Mark I don't think I've said I hope everything works out ok and hope you're coping ok in the circumstances so I'll take the opportunity to do so now.

I have no brilliant suggestions, and I guess you know how much we all care by now, so i won't go on about that again. I don't know what you can do other than saying exactly what you are saying here, with love and respect (and I know that's the way you'll say it). How this will strike your parents I obviously have no idea, but you will.

My guess is that a way that offers better support under your mother's control might be feasible - I am guessing that she needs to feel that she is the person taking care of your father, first and foremost.

Anyway, the very best of luck.

aw, mark! so sorry you're all having a tough time. my dad's quite ill and the only thing I guess i could say is to say what you have to say as kindly and directly as you can. common sense, i suppose but i don't know what else to say. I have a little bit of a feeling for your parents and your affection for them just from your posts. (I remember you saying once that you cut out on an article on punk for your dad to read! I love that image.) They sound like smart kind people and I'm sure they'll know that whatever you need to tell them is guided by love and respect. Best to you.

Echoing the good thoughts above, and wishing you the best -- I don't know how I'd deal with it myself, so take the advice here that seems the best for you and them, and make good use of it. :-)