WORST of the Best Picture Oscar Noms (Only the '00s Edition ... except 2009)

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Time to take a break from the single years so as to tackle this hot mess of an Oscar decade. Had to leave off 2009, where they expanded the field for lack of poll slots. Plus it was dumb decision and always will have been.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Crash 12
Chocolat 3
Babel 3
Lost in Translation 2
Mystic River 2
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World 2
Good Night, and Good Luck 2
Juno 2
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button 2
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 2
A Beautiful Mind 2
Moulin Rouge! 2
There Will Be Blood 1
The Queen 1
Little Miss Sunshine 1
The Reader 1
Gladiator 1
Munich 1
Million Dollar Baby 1
Ray 1
Chicago 1
Finding Neverland 1
The Aviator 1
Gangs of New York 1
Slumdog Millionaire 1
Brokeback Mountain 0
Erin Brockovich 0
Michael Clayton 0
No Country for Old Men 0
The Hours 0
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 0
Frost/Nixon 0
Milk 0
Seabiscuit 0
Atonement 0
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 0
Capote 0
Gosford Park 0
Traffic 0
In the Bedroom 0
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 0
The Departed 0
Letters from Iwo Jima 0
Sideways 0
The Pianist 0


Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 13:59 (seven years ago) link

Seabiscuit got nominated for Best Picture?

weird echo of the falsies (Tom D.), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:01 (seven years ago) link

haven't seen a bunch of these and I gather the Crash pick is widely derided but surely this has to be Gladiator

﴿→ ☺ (Doctor Casino), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:06 (seven years ago) link

This really should've have been a poll of the SECOND worst among the nominees. I expect a landslide for number one.

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:07 (seven years ago) link

If I ignore the big dull prestige pictures, I come up witht these finalists/stinkers:

A Beautiful Mind
Little Miss Sunshine
The Hours
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:07 (seven years ago) link

torn btwn little miss sunshine / slumdog / crash / juno

johnny crunch, Monday, 10 July 2017 14:07 (seven years ago) link

Crash is in its own category of dreadful.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:07 (seven years ago) link

Benjamin Butthole is my easy choice for second worst. What a dumb piece of shit.

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:10 (seven years ago) link

and long

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:12 (seven years ago) link

This really should've have been a poll of the SECOND worst among the nominees. I expect a landslide for number one.

I can only hope, but there are so many horrific, moronic pics in this mix that I anticipate a race.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:14 (seven years ago) link

xpost Yeah BB would be my pick. "A Beautiful Mind" is laughably bad too

Well bissogled trotters (Michael B), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:14 (seven years ago) link

there are so many horrific, moronic pics in this mix that I anticipate a race.

That's what I said about the GOP primaries in '15.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:15 (seven years ago) link

I remember Juno being well-acted and reasonably well-observed, not exactly Best Picture but a decent little film and worlds better than others of its ilk. Versus the 80s list, I actually don't mind a lot of the Oscar bait here, which tends to at least be a little livelier and more vivid. It's the way of the future - way of the future.

﴿→ ☺ (Doctor Casino), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:15 (seven years ago) link

Don't think I saw Finding Neverland. That can't be any good, right?

jmm, Monday, 10 July 2017 14:15 (seven years ago) link

Upholstered prestige crap, inoffensive.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:16 (seven years ago) link

That's what I said about the GOP primaries in '15.

The parallels between how that race went down and how this one will are staggering.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:17 (seven years ago) link

which film is Hilz and which Trump?

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:19 (seven years ago) link

These are all bad or worse:

Chocolat
Gladiator
A Beautiful Mind
In the Bedroom
The Hours
Seabiscuit
Finding Neverland
Ray
Sideways
Capote
Crash
Babel
Little Miss Sunshine
Juno
Frost/Nixon
The Reader

Also, I haven't managed to stay awake for the entirety of a single LotR movie, and managed to stay awake through all of the above.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:22 (seven years ago) link

Gangs of New York and The Departed are pretty bad but are partially saved by good moments and/or performances.
I only remember Master and Commander being deadly dull.
Atonement was really bad despite good source material.
I hated everything about Mystic River so it gets my vote.
(I haven't seen some of these, including Crash).

evol j, Monday, 10 July 2017 14:23 (seven years ago) link

Was Gosford Park as boring as I remember it being?

Never changed username before (cardamon), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:25 (seven years ago) link

the LOTR films are fine at what they do and I've never minded them.

I loved Ray at the time.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:26 (seven years ago) link

Gosford Park is fun! Real bitchy too.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:26 (seven years ago) link

I might re-watch. The Departed is too much Nicholson having nasty fun to be the worst of these IIRC though I can see what there is to dislike about it

Never changed username before (cardamon), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:28 (seven years ago) link

most of the bad ones of these i know are gonna be bad so i haven't watched them

ramen play on 10 (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:38 (seven years ago) link

xpost -- it was the most I've ever liked Mark Wahlberg, though possibly the least I've ever liked Damon and DiCaprio.

evol j, Monday, 10 July 2017 14:39 (seven years ago) link

I've seen so few of these, and some of them so long ago I can't remember a thing, that this currently is a three-way race between Sideways, Babel and The Reader. I suspect if I'd seen Crash this wouldn't be hard at all, and also suspect those three might actually be in the top half. I do kinda hate all three of them.

Frederik B, Monday, 10 July 2017 14:39 (seven years ago) link

Gosford is great, a relatively minor Altman but maybe my second favorite of the ones I've seen from this list (after the mysteriously-maligned There Will Be Blood).

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:39 (seven years ago) link

Crash should've been titled Paving the Road to Hell.

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:40 (seven years ago) link

the mysteriously-maligned There Will Be Blood

?!

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:41 (seven years ago) link

Well, on this board, anyway.

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:43 (seven years ago) link

The Departed is a blast. We can argue forever about whether its Oscar material or not, but its so much more watchable than the bulk of this list that it shouldn't even be in contention here.

So much dreck here, much of which has faded from memory for me (did I even see The Hours? I honestly can't remember now). Voting Slumdog Millionaire only because I was forced to watch it again recently for a class.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:45 (seven years ago) link

We should make a list of films that are both high prestige Oscar bait and enjoyably watchable movies that hold up past awards season. Feel like it would be a pretty short list.

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:50 (seven years ago) link

A few I got nothing out of: A Beautiful Mind, The Aviator, Munich, Little Miss Sunshine, Juno, Slumdog Millionaire. There are a bunch more where I got almost nothing, but there was usually a performance or something that slightly redeemed the film. I'll give Munich a pass because I've been meaning to see it again, and I don't want ILX's wrath descending down upon me. Anyway, Gangs of New York easily in terms of the ambition-achievement gap. Haven't seen 19 of them, including all the Lord of the Rings films.

clemenza, Monday, 10 July 2017 14:51 (seven years ago) link

At worst, the LOTR films are beautiful wallpaper.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:53 (seven years ago) link

never gonna run out of Oscar polls huh

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:54 (seven years ago) link

Well, on this board, anyway.

I mean, even on this board: 2007's Oscar Nominees

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:54 (seven years ago) link

We should make a list of films that are both high prestige Oscar bait and enjoyably watchable movies that hold up past awards season. Feel like it would be a pretty short list

From this list:

Erin Brockovich
Gosford Park
The Departed
Lost in Translation
Munich
LOTR
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:55 (seven years ago) link

i haven't seen 14 of these candidates and will die happy avoiding at least 10 henceforth

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:56 (seven years ago) link

(xpost) Lost in Translation? I guess with Murray to an extent, but was Coppola all that well known before that?

clemenza, Monday, 10 July 2017 14:57 (seven years ago) link

LIT had buzz months in advance of its opening, if I remember correctly. And Murray was one of the award frontrunners. I like it fine, she did better before and afterward.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 14:58 (seven years ago) link

I had a real problem with its ''oh, this inscrutable Oriental backdrop!" premise and execution, even if part of the idea was that ScarJo's character was going through the motions of that narrative (package tea ceremony experience etc.) and finding it hollow. End of the day, it's The East as sounding board and metaphor for anomie and human disconnection which is pretty dopey.

﴿→ ☺ (Doctor Casino), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:02 (seven years ago) link

It's at least partially mitigated by her and Murray's spending so much time in the hotel, which could be any anonymous luxury Hilton anywhere in the world.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:04 (seven years ago) link

it's funny how few of these movies are conducive to multiple viewings, which obviously goes hand in hand with their "prestige" nature. Erin Brockovich jumps out as one, but maybe it's just on TV more than most of the others.

evol j, Monday, 10 July 2017 15:05 (seven years ago) link

Erin Brockovich j is a much better movie than Traffic: aware of the intersections of gender and class, sharp eye for interior design, excellent cast.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:07 (seven years ago) link

title should've been Julia's Smile Cures Social Ills

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:09 (seven years ago) link

Also how bad was Little Miss Sunshine? I remember thinking the characters were pretty charming fuck-ups with heart kind of thing but haven't re-watched for years

Never changed username before (cardamon), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:10 (seven years ago) link

as funny as a 2x4

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:10 (seven years ago) link

Erin Brockovich is a much better movie than Traffic: aware of the intersections of gender and class, sharp eye for interior design, excellent cast.

This.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:13 (seven years ago) link

Kael would've been in its corner.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:15 (seven years ago) link

oh, HER

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 15:16 (seven years ago) link

around 2000 Marty finally started to make AMPAS' kind of movie: slick shit

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:10 (seven years ago) link

xp Akiva Goldsman is such a hack writer

mh, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:11 (seven years ago) link

Siskel and Ebert are v fun to watch even when neither of them is saying anything particularly insightful. Ebert is right about what Cronenberg (and to a greater, more successful extent, Ballard) were trying to do, but he's wrong about the movie succeeding imo

xp

Οὖτις, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:12 (seven years ago) link

for sure

mh, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:14 (seven years ago) link

A thousand percent with Siskel there. "Because it's too tough for them to take"--just the silliest possible thing you can say, above and beyond the fact it's always a bad idea to try to tell someone why they didn't like something. I could take Crash, just found it laughably solemn. (Tried to imagine an SCTV remake in something I tacked onto a year-end music ballot that year.)

clemenza, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:16 (seven years ago) link

i remember Master & Commander as being both an excellent movie (best old timey boat movie of the past couple decades at least!) and the movie that broke nabisco's brain.

nomar, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:18 (seven years ago) link

the scorsese movies here i'd rank departed >>> aviator >>> GoNY. going from excellent to "it has its awe-inspiring moments."

Munich and LOTR are both awesome though the former has some poorly executed bits.

the one from this list i thought was surprisingly good was Michael Clayton.

I'd vote for Gladiator here, though. it's not just pretty bad, but kind of pointless and tedious.

nomar, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:22 (seven years ago) link

are you saying that you were not... amused

Οὖτις, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:26 (seven years ago) link

lolling so hard at that Siskel/Ebert debate. I at least finished Crash, although it was terrible. I gave up trying to watch Fellowship of the Ring. Three hours of epic journey, battle, epic journey, battle, epic journey... yeah, I really need a four hour Blu-Ray extended version of that.

smug dinner-jazz atrocity (Dan Peterson), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:27 (seven years ago) link

you left out all the yammering

Οὖτις, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:29 (seven years ago) link

would love to see a spinoff about a hobbit brothel done in the style of The Killing of a Chinese Bookie

flappy bird, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:31 (seven years ago) link

I crack up thinking about the rat on the windowsill at the end of The Departed far too often.

― devvvine, Monday, July 10, 2017 12:50 PM (thirty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I always kinda wish there'd been a flashing subtitle that said 'RAT EQUALS SYMBOLISM FOR CORRUPTION'.

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:33 (seven years ago) link

lmao holy shit

flappy bird, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:34 (seven years ago) link

I hope that's in the closed captions

mh, Monday, 10 July 2017 18:36 (seven years ago) link

(Huh...did Dolenz always play Cagney like he was having an epileptic fit?)

Duane Quarterdump (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:42 (seven years ago) link

His performances were usually so subtle and restrained too.

weird echo of the falsies (Tom D.), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:44 (seven years ago) link

I've never seen so many people walk out midmovie as I did during Cronenberg's Crash.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 July 2017 18:52 (seven years ago) link

Same here

Wet Pelican would provide the soundtrack (Myonga Vön Bontee), Monday, 10 July 2017 19:03 (seven years ago) link

this has to be crash

-_- (jim in vancouver), Monday, 10 July 2017 19:05 (seven years ago) link

https://youtu.be/Mn9AYyjS_Es?t=15

Οὖτις, Monday, 10 July 2017 19:35 (seven years ago) link

I hate little miss sunshine but for me this absolutely has to be Chicago

jjjusten, Tuesday, 11 July 2017 04:45 (seven years ago) link

otm

flappy bird, Tuesday, 11 July 2017 05:13 (seven years ago) link

I’ve never seen the movie version, but I saw the musical with my family on a weekend matinee and an alternate took the lead. But said alternate was Sandy Duncan.

mh, Tuesday, 11 July 2017 05:30 (seven years ago) link

I also picked Chicago - I'm handicapped in that no-one pays me to see films, so I have missed ~50% if these, including obviously Crash.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 11 July 2017 06:43 (seven years ago) link

Either Ray or Crash. I suppose Ray let Walk Hard happen which is a plus.

I thought Chicago was OK. Very retro and it pales next to Cabaret, but it kept me entertained.

Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 09:40 (seven years ago) link

I take it I'm the only person who hates Moulin Rouge like boiling acid being poured in my ears and eyes.

attention vampire (MatthewK), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 11:50 (seven years ago) link

I'm not a fan but I don't care enough.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 11:57 (seven years ago) link

I admire it very much. But it gives me headaches, so I don't watch it.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 11 July 2017 12:21 (seven years ago) link

Yeah, that's more or less my take. I admire its serious commitment to foolishness.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 12:48 (seven years ago) link

it's a monument to ADD, someone said

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 14:30 (seven years ago) link

p sure i loathed Crash and Slumdog most, with the very dishonest Frost/Nixon close behind

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 14:31 (seven years ago) link

of the ones I've seen, these are the ones I dislike the most:

Moulin Rouge! - interesting setup that eventually just tested my patience and made me wish they'd cast people who could sing as the leads
The Hours - while notable for having the only Julianne Moore performance I can tolerate, it's still dull and deep in the way a 13yo who just found out about Bauhaus is deep
Mystic River - I solved the whodunnit about 5 seconds after the murder happened and spent the rest of the movie irritated by the dummies onscreen who couldn't figure it out
Babel - I had high hopes for this but it made zero impact on me at all; I barely remember seeing it

I probably actually dislike The Hours more but I'm voting Mystic River because I was in the chorus that recorded the barely-inaudible "oooh-ahhhh" bits in the soundtrack and it is eternally frustrating to me that my voice is buried deep in the mix of this dumb-ass movie.

a butt groove but for feet (DJP), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 14:59 (seven years ago) link

Beside forcing Nicole Kidman as Virginia Woolf to lie in the grass covered in snails to commune with snails, The Hours also had Ed Harris his first official terrible performance.

Babel is classic Oscarbuzz crap that vanishes the moment its moment does. But it's Innaritu's least memorable film, which is a plus.

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 15:06 (seven years ago) link

Can't hate on Slumdog. It at least has Anthony Dod Mantle shooting the shit out of it, which is more than can be said for almost every one of these.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 11 July 2017 15:13 (seven years ago) link

And, in one memorable scene, shooting shit.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 15:16 (seven years ago) link

And that is the best scene. It's still weird that a film with a triumphant scene where a kid swims through excrement won the Oscar as a feel good film.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 11 July 2017 15:21 (seven years ago) link

a metaphor for that year in Oscar

the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 15:21 (seven years ago) link

If only there had been 10 nominees!

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Tuesday, 11 July 2017 15:23 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 2 August 2017 00:01 (seven years ago) link

As many awful movies as there are here ... Crash.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Wednesday, 2 August 2017 13:20 (seven years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 3 August 2017 00:01 (seven years ago) link

Would be interested in hearing from the two Lost in Translation voters (understanding and conceding the most common complaint against it).

clemenza, Thursday, 3 August 2017 00:33 (seven years ago) link

I think Crouching Tiger is my favourite here.

jmm, Thursday, 3 August 2017 01:43 (seven years ago) link

one year passes...

I like more of the films in Good to Great and Meh each than 'Solid Sound Entertainments', which strikes me as about right.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 4 February 2019 15:23 (five years ago) link

Sorry for mangling your categories.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 4 February 2019 15:23 (five years ago) link

which films?

Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 4 February 2019 15:28 (five years ago) link

Moulin Rouge / Juno / District 19
Up / Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Lost in Translation / No Country for Old Men / A Serious Man

I am a mark for 'We have some ideas, and some of them are bad!' which I think covers the first three. (but really my percentage watched across all categories is <50)

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 4 February 2019 21:20 (five years ago) link


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